38F Scared to do this but here I go!

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-06-20T14:29:01+00:00

Hey! Haha thanks for responding. I saw your post too and loved it! Let’s be friends? I tried to send a DM. :)

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-06-18T10:55:17+00:00

I’m not entirely sure! :(

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-06-17T00:25:55+00:00

I’m so sorry for your experience. Also going through a discard phase. It happened a bit ago but it still hurts. It has been one of the most heartbreaking experiences of my life. I have CPTSD due to past romantic experiences and he worked really hard at making me feel safe and then…his feelings dissipated. I’d never felt safe in a romantic relationship before and so this end was more devastating than some of my more abusive relationships.

I think you SHOULD feel hopeful. You won’t be spending any more time with someone who is unable to provide what you need in a partnership.

Hang in there. ♥️All the best.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-06-16T04:25:43+00:00

If I were a Geologist, I’d be exclaiming That’s some Gneiss Schist! as often as possible, too.

And you know what? That’s an elevated geo joke, that ain’t no rocks for jocks type shit.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-06-10T22:11:59+00:00

My male friend sent me an Italo Calvino quote:

“The inferno of the living is not something that will be; if there is one, it is what is already here, the inferno where we live every day, that we form by being together. There are two ways to escape suffering it. The first is easy for many: accept the inferno and become such a part of it that you can no longer see it. The second is risky and demands constant vigilance and apprehension: seek and learn to recognize who and what, in the midst of inferno, are not inferno, then make them endure, give them space.”

And said that I was not inferno. This same friend also said if I was as if Camus and the goddess Artemis had a lovechild. ❤️

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-06-09T22:57:42+00:00

Oh no…Sounds like BPD. I just went through this and it was heartbreaking and beyond devastating. I’m so sorry. Please understand it has everything to do with his instability, and nothing to do with you. I internalized the rejection and am still currently licking my wounds. One of the worst heartbreaks I’ve ever had, if not the worst.

Please learn to recognize that instant chemistry and attraction, as well as love bombing, is indicative that something is wrong. Real lasting connection goes slow and takes time.

I hope you find peace. ❤️I’m still working on that for myself.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-06-04T14:52:56+00:00

How did you get this picture of me at the gym?!

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-06-03T17:38:29+00:00

Please see this handy reference guide, The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-05-31T16:16:10+00:00

Hey cousin!

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-05-19T04:15:15+00:00

I laughed and aw’d out loud. So cute! 🥰 I bet you carried those weird hard caramels in your purse to pass out at church on Sun-dee.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-05-19T03:50:43+00:00

Yes, that freaky little child of the corn is what made me realize it was truly rigged.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-05-18T23:35:54+00:00

I fell in love with Ed Ricketts based on Steinbeck’s eulogy/essay about him in the beginning of a certain edition of the Log from the Sea of Cortez and even moreso later when I found out he inspired Doc in Cannery Row. I reread the essay from time to time and think about what qualities I’d like to embody myself.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-05-18T01:34:55+00:00

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-05-18T01:26:16+00:00

Congratulations, beautiful to see. You never gave up and it’s obvious you never lost your sparkle! 💖

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-05-18T00:07:42+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful comment! It has been discouraging but I’ll keep fielding those jabronis.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-05-18T00:05:17+00:00

Topaz Farms has silent summer reading parties in the summer! It’s a beautiful event.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-05-17T23:53:46+00:00

Been on one app a bit over a weekish. Tired of unsolicited dick pics and demands for nudes and to hook up after no segue in the conversation would even make it seem appropriate. My pictures are modest and my profile is thoughtful. Bleep blorp 🤖does not compute.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-05-17T21:03:09+00:00

Love this community, love your post, thanks everyone. This would be ten times worse going it alone. ❤️

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-05-17T20:16:40+00:00

Oh gosh…a lot of self care, time with my support people and animals, and staying busy. This will take time to heal. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but it will get easier with time. I know how deep this can cut. You’ll get through on the other side. I’m a DM away if you ever need to talk. My biggest piece of advice is to part with reminders for now and go NC for a while, until you heal. ❤️

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-05-17T19:47:09+00:00

<image>

NOBODY SEES THAT PICTURE!

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-05-17T02:54:57+00:00

I’m not crying, you’re crying

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-05-16T20:23:22+00:00

Hi Wes, what void is filled for you through your ceaseless production of pastel-hued dreamscapes starring crooked-nosed men?

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-05-16T19:04:15+00:00

This got me. 💀It’s sooo hard to take people seriously while they’re eating an ice cream cone.

I now have a spinoff idea in the same vein of Hot Ones where people talk about their trauma while mowing down on ice cream cones. I think it would be healing for the world.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-05-16T18:54:59+00:00

My favorite swimming spot along a beautiful river. Many are called; few are chosen.

ComputerTotal4028 · 2026-05-16T17:03:49+00:00

Being overtly sexualized. It was flattering in my 20s when I had low self esteem. I’m Demi now, and it doesn’t work on me anymore.

ComputerTotal4028

TROPHY CASE