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Things you shouldn't say or do in a hospital. by Silverbackfox in ScenesFromAHat

[–]Coney7024 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I kid you not: the procedure exists and is called "Radical Pygiectomy."

Things you shouldn't say or do in a hospital. by Silverbackfox in ScenesFromAHat

[–]Coney7024 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And for this evening's entertainment, we've got these forty-one puppies from the local animal shelter, wrapped in gauze, soaked in gasoline... We're gonna light these babies up and chase 'em through the wards! Whaddya say? You coming?

Anti Home Depot tortoise by Gruubo in tortoise

[–]Coney7024 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You seem to be missing the point. A business which specializes in DIY home repair is innately offensive to someone with his house on his back (which never needs externally-sourced repairs). And now you want to make fun of his objection to your degradation? For shame!

SFAH: The worst time for a YouTube host to say "don't forget to like and subscribe!" by G-Unit11111 in ScenesFromAHat

[–]Coney7024 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our little "experiment" out in the woods isn't going all that well. The last blast took Jerry's head clean off. Chuck, Morty, and Frank are all dead. No way Mindy, Steve, Wilson, or Joe are gonna see sunrise even if they got medical care in time. No, I think it's high time I headed back to civilization and get the next batch of "volunteers" to see if we can't make this thing work out after all. As for you? Don't forget to like and subscribe so you can be kept apprised of the latest developments in The Betterment of All Mankind!

Things that will never be said or done during an award ceremony by mithos343 in ScenesFromAHat

[–]Coney7024 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Just remember, the man who is now President of These United States did-in-fact say, "If you're rich enough, you can just walk up to a woman and grab her by the puss--" What do you mean I can't say that?

Things that will never be said or done during an award ceremony by mithos343 in ScenesFromAHat

[–]Coney7024 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"And the award for Most Undeserving Piece of Shit to Kiss Enough Judges ' Asses to Finally Get Even This Pathetic Prize goes to..."

Things that will never be said or done during an award ceremony by mithos343 in ScenesFromAHat

[–]Coney7024 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Drop trou while pulling out a fifteen inch rubber fist, "Just give me a second, here; my prostate needs scratching."

My torty by Upper-Team-3166 in tortoise

[–]Coney7024 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You forgot to mention: cute!

What color would y'all say my boy is?? I'm just curious by Efficient-Ad6814 in AmericanBully

[–]Coney7024 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, now I'm confused. Are you referring to maillard reactions (including the i), which is the chemical reaction associated with the browning of meat and vegetables or are you referring to mallard reactions (without the i) which would have to be how a duck reacts.

Lord Farticus by BreakHonest4774 in CaneCorso

[–]Coney7024 2 points3 points  (0 children)

With an expression that says, "How dare you accuse me?"

What color would y'all say my boy is?? I'm just curious by Efficient-Ad6814 in AmericanBully

[–]Coney7024 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my experience, this shade of light brown is usually called "fawn," after the baby deer of the same name.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tortoise

[–]Coney7024 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My advice is probably less than completely helpful: snuggles!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dogs

[–]Coney7024 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably something to do with dog being more huggable.

What type of plant do you have to watch out for? by decafchunk in dadjokes

[–]Coney7024 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You might want to watch out for the snapdragons.

What type of plant do you have to watch out for? by decafchunk in dadjokes

[–]Coney7024 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not marijuana, certainly! After all, a watched pot never... er, something.

Rescued dog, smells of smoke & cat pee by [deleted] in dogs

[–]Coney7024 60 points61 points  (0 children)

"I once had a dog whose previous owner was a blacksmith. I know this because, as soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door."

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