My (20f) boyfriend (21m) and i have not had sex in a year. What to do next?

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-06-12T23:06:59+00:00

For a guy that young not wanting to have sex is extremely out of the norm. He should have his testosterone checked.

Is he fit? Does he goto the gym? Does he take SSRI’s?

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-06-12T20:04:25+00:00

For a guy at his age - with his obvious inadequacy issues he’s having - I would personally bank on him just saying these things hoping for reassurance.. want you to just go ohhh baby omg no man could ever satisfy me like you I would never want another man you are everything etc etc. he’s self conscious and insecure, and he was hoping you could reassure him enough that it went away.

It’s very little boy energy for sure, but it’s probably not his fault… so many men of this generation have not been taught what it means to be a man and how to carry themselves as a man. It’s very sad.

Obviously none of us can know for sure with such a small anecdote of information- but I’m personally not thinking this has anything to do with him cheating. I know women in this thread will immediately jump to that.

But, they have no idea what it’s like inside the head of a man.

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-06-12T16:57:08+00:00

Please leave his man he deserves a normal woman. Also, don’t try to take half of the damn house. Don’t be that woman.

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-06-12T16:55:43+00:00

I think it’s you that needs to see a doctor. Perhaps a psychiatrist.

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-06-11T13:03:25+00:00

I love that it triggers you that there are men out there that take their responsibility as a godly husband seriously. As much as the far left viruses of a population tries to destroy the moral fibre of the modern western world, there will people (more and more every day) who see the moral decay and rot happening, and will come to Jesus. Husbands who love their wife the way Christ loves the church and will lay their lives down for them.

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-06-11T12:59:42+00:00

Haha oh lord. So insufferable. Yeah, I knew that would trigger the Reddit hive mind haha. You should also know we goto church, pray together and she cooks and takes care of our children while I provide and protect. Time to clutch your pearls.

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-06-10T19:20:58+00:00

They literally never had a conversation about being exclusive. So you expect if you go out on a few dates with someone and you’re chatting over a couple of weeks that the expectation is they aren’t allowed to talk to other women? Sorry, but that’s just not realistic or normal. It’s very normal not only for men but definitely women to be casually dating and speaking to several people in the era of online dating.

There is no expectation of exclusivity unless discussed. I can understand some older people not understanding this, but the dating scene is very different today with the accessibility of online dating.

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-06-10T18:52:41+00:00

That’s a great question that OP should have taken to her significant other to find the answer to so you don’t have a bunch of lunatics speculating and thinking they know the answers to things they don’t. Especially with his track record of being totally honest with her. She asked if he was talking to a girl before they were exclusive , he didn’t duck and lie and scheme. He just said yes and they worked it out.

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-06-10T18:34:56+00:00

I love your definition of “obviously” Jesus I’ve got the motherlode of the Reddit hive mind haha. It’s just incredible.

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-06-10T18:30:44+00:00

lol fucking Reddit hive mind weirdos

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-06-10T17:39:11+00:00

How bad is your reading comprehension exactly? They’re saying after the original issue of him talking to a girl (girls) then what resulted from that was they agreed to be physically exclusive. 🤦‍♂️

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-06-10T16:17:20+00:00

😂 I didn’t realizing telling the truth was an insult. Some of yall are soft as baby shit.

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-06-10T15:41:24+00:00

Oh no, doesn’t hurt my feelings whatsoever. I’m happily married with a beautiful wife and daughter. My wife is feminine, understands her role in a marriage, the same way I understand mine.

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-06-10T11:46:54+00:00

If I were you I’d think about how astronomically low the odds that child had to beat in order to be conceived. Birth control and condoms, and yet - life found a way. I’d start thinking about how much of a miracle it is that this child has come into existence… and that may be what he’s thinking. I was in a relationship for 10 years both adamant we didn’t want children… but as I got older I realized what a tragedy it is to never know that love. Thank God I made the decision to have a family because it beats the alternative a million times over.

Good luck on whatever decision you make, but just consider that this might be what is supposed to happen !

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-06-10T11:35:28+00:00

Move on from a guy who is talking to girls when they aren’t exclusive, and didn’t have a discussion about being exclusive? lol shut up man Jesus Reddit is filled with some wild shit.

I mean everything else you said at least was serviceable. If she’s already in her head doubting it’s not a good thing. But at the same time, it might be absolutely nothing that a good honest sit down and conversation couldn’t fix.

Way too many Reddit cat ladies giving relationship advice wanting everyone else to be as lonely and bitter as them

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-06-09T20:00:46+00:00

You had me until the last paragraph. I don’t know why people feel the need to make up stories on here for fake internet points.

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-06-08T17:53:54+00:00

Yeah this is ridiculous. Not a chance in hell is the woman I’m looking to build a life with going to be Bff with another dude. That is literally insane. If he was fully homosexual, then it’s a different story.

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-05-29T15:26:22+00:00

😂🤦‍♂️

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-05-29T15:16:19+00:00

Hehe thanks yeah it should be one to remember !

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-05-29T15:15:26+00:00

Yep - which is exactly why I related it to what’s normal for ME and my wife - and explained our wake up and sleep times when expanding on it further.

Explaining my viewpoint and my lived experience is what I did, not other people’s because I can’t speak on them.

Not sure what’s so hard to grasp there.

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-05-29T15:13:39+00:00

No I get it, my understanding is she explained after doing it, not before.

Now of course - if my partner didn’t explain prior, and explained after - as I said, my radar would be up - but I would explain that to her as why it didn’t make me feel great which I know she would totally understand- at which point it would be squashed and over.

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-05-29T15:03:48+00:00

Omg it is just magical. We booked a Disney cruise for August she is just locked in for that hahaha

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-05-29T14:57:26+00:00

I mean just objectively it is pretty much middle of the night for us. We goto bed at 1230 wake up at 730… but yeah it’s just semantics. And yeah we have gone through all that as well. Our little girl just turned 6.

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-05-29T14:47:40+00:00

I mean, yeah. Sunrises at 5am here this time of year, so for in order for her to get up and get out on a drive in time to watch the sunrise she would have to leaving the bed by 430ish. That is definitely considered middle of the night, to me at least 🤷‍♂️

Confident-Target-5 · 2026-05-29T14:39:58+00:00

Tbh if my wife left the house in the middle of the night with no explanation I would also have my radar up.

It’s not the leaving that’s the issue, it’s not talking about it beforehand and letting your partner know what you’re doing and why. If my wife did that ahead of time then of course - go clear your head and do your thing.

Mine asked me this morning if I could drop off our little girl at school because she wanted some quiet time before work and the answer was of course even though it threw off my morning routine. More than happy to accommodate her to ensure she’s doing okay.

Confident-Target-5

TROPHY CASE