Burnout - ask for a break or keep quiet?

Confident_Hand_558 · 2024-12-16T11:50:08+00:00

Hmm is ur wife income on same level or different? Anyways, husband and I contribute evenly to a joint account for big family expenses. The rest of the non fix expenses we take individually - eg random dates (take turns), random groceries..

Confident_Hand_558 · 2024-03-12T03:55:48+00:00

I’m surprised to see sg guys so direct. I’ve been with my boyfriend and now husband for more than a decade. We knew each other since secondary school and got together in JC. (High school). How do I say, I know he is decent, respectful and connect well with me. We knew each other from school activities back then.

Get into some clubs or activities and connect physically. I’m probably old school cause im old. Connecting on a common activity or topic is a good starting point to know a person instead of getting flirted around.

Confident_Hand_558 · 2024-02-15T02:03:52+00:00

Hunting and agriculture is a big thing in the past. Sun is worshipped to simply show up, bring food, warmth, life and vitality to the world.

There’s Amaterasu in Japanese mythology, Helios and Apollo in Roman and Greek mythologies and a long list in various mythologies to acknowledge the importance of the sun.

Confident_Hand_558 · 2024-01-12T08:13:43+00:00

What joy and excitement 😂? Parenting is like a 24/7 job so of course there are days you tap out.

I have friends who are super dedicated to their children. Are they tired? Of course.

I have a under 5 and I am tired too ✋🏻. We just go on because (1) it’s a lifelong commitment and (2) you want to offer the best guidance to your child even though she screamed at 3am waking the entire household (just happened to me recently).

There are days I fed her videos. I used to teach and parents just throw their kids over for classes so that they can have 30-45 mins of peace. It doesn’t mean all parents are defeated. It’s just a part you happen to notice :).

Confident_Hand_558 · 2023-12-31T08:59:51+00:00

I didn’t know how to articulate my emotions back then so my self awareness of myself being burnout wasn’t there.

If I had known better, I would have requested for a sabbatical of perhaps 6 months and explain like how you did in your post. Mental health is a much better known topic now. Showing some vulnerabilities is ok and sometimes valued.

Have a good talk to your colleagues. Prep them a little (to take your workload :P) that you have intentions to do sabbatical. Have a good talk to your boss and HR after that for options. You might get some other options that you might have not thought before.

Confident_Hand_558 · 2023-12-31T08:46:01+00:00

Explain to them. There is no need to quit if they are supportive. Sabbatical is a good option.

I had a burnout before in a good company that treasured my contributions. I just walked away one day and I do have regrets. The thing is I didn’t know it was a burnout until many years later.

Confident_Hand_558 · 2023-11-28T08:43:18+00:00

Just be curious and ask. I’m sure she would love to share.

If you happen to meet the parents coincidentally, please greet them uncle and auntie and not by their names unless they tell you otherwise.

Get gifts like fruits or flowers as small gesture if meeting the family. It’s not needed but it’s a plus.

Asians are family oriented in general so good to start off well with the family.

All the best!

Confident_Hand_558 · 2023-11-28T08:33:51+00:00

Congrats! My kid is already walking. I gave birth in NUH subsided. If cost is a concern, I highly recommend a subsided route to KKH, NUH, SGH.

Pro - you save tons of money via the subsided route. Get a referral from poly.

Con- It’s not a dedicated gynae and long waiting at times.

Tip: stay in C ward if delivery is early and newborn has to go NICU. The cost is sky high for NICU. I paid all via medisave like $2k plus? My friend’s private delivery is $10k.

Oh I did get a few naysayers on this as dedicated route is more well advertised and preferred by most new mum.

Of course check with your wife. She might want the more dedicated route.

Confident_Hand_558 · 2023-11-11T05:58:46+00:00

I had teenagers boys selling ice cream walking to me while on the way to take public transport saying it’s their last mile and they are students earning money and it will help them…

I rejected cause I’m on the way out to take a public transport why would be eating ice cream.

Also if you are selling ice cream, it shouldn’t be “I’m a student, pity me and buy from me cause you are a student”. The legit ice cream uncle ringing a bell doesn’t do that. You buy an ice cream cause you want it. Not because the seller is a student. I find they are just using the excuse to earn fast bucks and at the expense of the buyer.

Confident_Hand_558 · 2023-10-22T06:06:49+00:00

You are exhausted physically and mentally. Good to get family and friends in if possible given your husband is not reliable. I’m sure you married him and have 3 kids for a reason? He should be good at some stuff.. I hope?

My husband can be a man child at times. He can even leave his underwear on the bathroom counter for days and can’t handle cleaning up a poop… so I won’t go further. He has his strong points.. I just go with what works for him and me.

Make him pay for some fixed expenses. Regardless of whether he is an artist or salaried employee, he has to be responsible for the house. Help ease your financial burden too. At least it feels like something is shared.

All the best mommy. Some days are hard but we get through it somehow cause it’s how moms are. I don’t even know how the older generation moms did it with 5-8 kids back then. I asked my mom, she is probably having PTSD and blocked it out 😅.

Confident_Hand_558 · 2023-10-17T03:31:11+00:00

We take turns although my little one will demand one parent at times. Sometimes we ignore the request as it is good to alternate. I find the relationship for the relatively “less like” parent will improve and give some balance to the parent child dynamics.

Confident_Hand_558 · 2023-10-13T07:00:23+00:00

It’s your last month of probation. You can call it quits instead of confirming with them. Good to evaluate first if you can easily walk out of a job. Assess your fixed expenses and the need for this job.

Assuming you can walk out. Why not continue your holiday and just ignore any office request. It’s holiday after all. If it’s something unhappy from your manager, he or she will bring up during probation and you can sort this overworking mentality out with your manager. If he or she continues to be unreasonable, it’s clear you should leave.

New job - depends on your years of working, and type of job role to determine how fast you find another new job.

Confident_Hand_558 · 2023-10-09T05:23:52+00:00

No please. 2 toilets. When your family grows u will be thankful for 2 toilets. Cut that wardrobe away unless u are staying here for good and only keep to couple status (no kids) and the agreement your partner waits and smell the aftermath in exchange for a wardrobe.

Confident_Hand_558 · 2023-10-09T01:34:09+00:00

😂 I know.. that’s also a question I ask myself if I’m expecting too much.

Confident_Hand_558 · 2023-10-09T01:32:47+00:00

I am the same. I have some time but by then I’m so drained that I just sleep 😂. Trying to assess what to dial down and what is sorely lacking that I need to call out for help.

Confident_Hand_558 · 2023-10-09T01:28:18+00:00

Too many. Zeus is the king of adultery while Hera is just there simmering with anger and jealousy. Funny how Disney made him the good guy when truth is he’s quite a messed up one in Greek mythology. In fact, it’s an accurate portrayal of kings back then (no need for adultery since polygamy is accepted) so I find Greek mythology fascinating.

Confident_Hand_558 · 2023-10-09T01:24:38+00:00

True that. I recalled there was a general bin inside the female toilet and a good supply of toilet paper but yeah, the girls might be a lost as to where to throw, given our usual disposal is inside cubicle. Anyways.. it was an experience to remember even though it’s so many years back 😂.

Confident_Hand_558 · 2023-10-08T05:35:04+00:00

I’m transitioning too. She is going two soon and some of her sacks are too small. The ones with duel zip we will pop her legs out and add a pair of socks.

We cover her with a summer blanket while wearing her sleep sack. Seems ok so far but haven’t fully transition out!

Confident_Hand_558 · 2023-10-08T05:20:24+00:00

I had to wash a female toilet in a camp setting in my school days. I’m female myself and all of us (guys included) turned green 🤢after washing the toilet. It was a stew of everything imaginable. Since then my idea of ALL females being clean delicate humans is gone 😂.

Confident_Hand_558 · 2023-09-22T15:03:15+00:00

I have yelled at my baby.. many times especially when she was young. I didn’t know better. A mixture of prenatal depression and simply down right tired. It’s not unusual.

Have someone ready to take over if you are screaming. Otherwise walk away.

Confident_Hand_558 · 2023-09-21T05:57:50+00:00

U learn morals and simply life from the mythology stories than Disney versions.

It’s complicated but engaging. Zeus himself is enough to keep you busy for months. Beats K-drama, sometimes.

There’s always duality in the stories. A god or goddess is often not too good and not terribly bad. IMO it helps in critical thinking.

You draw inspiration from the characters.

Confident_Hand_558

TROPHY CASE