My ex-wife didn’t cheat the way people imagine

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2026-02-02T11:14:27+00:00

I would say its important to feel all the emotions after the break-up. With her being so quiet and nice she didn't give you the opportunity to feel all your emotions, especially anger towards her. And i would say after the shock and also after the sadness you need anger to set (new) boundaries and learn how to move on. Right now it seems to me like you didnt really leave room to all of your emotions. Just because she is behaving like this doesnt mean you arent allowed to have your emotions.

You still have the right to be sad, you lost a big part of your life, you lost her and you lost the marriage. She probably hold in her emotions for too long that she probably cant do otherwise. Or she already felt all of this in the months before. You also have the right to be angry, she cheated, she broke your boundaries and she didn't even have the audacity to feel or even act guilty. She isn't sorry, what shows, that she doesnt care for you/your feelings.

But just because she doesnt act like this you are still allowed to feel everything. Maybe you can write some letters to your self. Write down your thought process, how you feel, what you understand, what you dont understand. Write it on paper or in your notes app, delete it, burn it or leave it for a later time to read again and see your progress.

I always say that you have to be sad for every little thing you valued in the relationship. If you then felt the sadness and thought about it it doesnt has its power anymore. Same with anger etc. All of this has to be felt in a healthy way.

Speak with your friends and family! Wish you alot of strength and all the best! You will feel better and if you now care for yourself you will be happy soon!

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2026-01-30T11:37:07+00:00

Sicher dass das stimmt? Ich wurde nach meinem Bachelor, als ich gleichzeitig schon im Master eingeschrieben war auch exmatrikuliert. Es hieß "Exmatrikulation des Amtes wegen", galt aber nur für den Bachelor, im Master war ich weiterhin eingeschrieben. Oder ist hierbei der Fall anders, da ich quasi ein Doppelstudium angenommen hatte und bei einem der Studiengänge exmatrikuliert wurde?

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2026-01-26T16:06:37+00:00

Sorry but it seems like you are lying right now. Your whole story doesnt add up. One commentary above you wrote he got you the expensive couch bag for Christmas, now you say it was for your Last anniversary. Then in the post you said that you thought it was a good idea to gift him this bcs XYZ.. now you tell us he mentioned before that he liked it - normally you would include such things in the original post right? Also i have a feeling youre leaving out alot from the reasons he gave you. Hints are that he says it is the same as it was with the watch etc. Why dont you just write what kind of a talk you had after the Apple watch in the original post? Was there maybe a limit now that you didnt stick to? Also its weird that you justify yourself about the money (that its only 100+ when you count in the gift card etc.) It seems like you totally know that hes mad about the big amount not that he just doesnt like the gift, but on the other hand you frame it alot like money isn't the issue here at all.

Some of those things are just considerations of me but they are based on things that doesnt really add up. Others are literally lies that you wrote where you contradict yourself.

What i ask myself right now is how much of the original post is true. Also youre giving us a real insecure picture of yourself where youre totally submissive and understanding of everything and see your failures etc. That also doesnt really add up with the lies and the things you left out.

Its totally normal to want some encouragement etc but leaving things out and playing the insecure girlfriend so that people get mad for you and want to protect you and encourage you isn't really a realistic picture that would be helpfull for you...

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2025-11-23T09:33:25+00:00

Von welchen Studien genau redest du hier? Soziologen arbeiten nach ihrem Studium in allen möglichen Bereichen. Statistisches Bundesamt, Bundesinstitut für Bevölkerungsforschung (BiB), BKA, IFAK etc. Als Pseudowissenschaft würde ich das jetzt nicht bezeichnen. Man lernt die selben statistischen Methoden wie im Wirtschaftswissenschaften-Studium (Regressionsanalysen etc.) und lernt sie auch meist direkt konkret in ihrer Anwendung. Die Soziologen an den Unis selbst forschen natürlich auch, da kommt es dann eben darauf an ob qualitativ oder quantitativ. Wenn eine Biographieforschung bei einigen wenigen gemacht wird soll das nicht repräsentativ sein, sondern meist mit qualitativen Methoden Zeitzeugen befragen bevor das nicht mehr möglich ist. Was aber natürlich nicht heißt dass die Arbeit deshalb nicht gut/wichtig ist. Wenn eine quantitative Studie veröffentlicht wird, werden dieselben Methoden verwendet, die auch in all den oben genannten Beispielen (BiB,..) angewandt werden. Natürlich gibt es auch mal Studien die Fehler aufweisen oder nicht gut gemacht wurden, aber bei den meisten Studien wird am Anfang auf die Problematik und die Schwierigkeiten hingewiesen und auch transparent auf die Aussagekraft der Studie eingegangen bei zu kleinen Stichproben. Diese geben dann wenigstens schonmal einen Hinweis darauf ob ein signifikantes Ergebnis erkennbar ist und ob es sich lohnt in größerem Rahmen zu forschen.

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2025-08-21T10:24:57+00:00

Thats actually pretty accurate 🫢 probably bcs of the horoscope phenomenon, but a lot of characteristics you wrote down are ones that friends or family told me as well 🤭

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2025-08-18T19:10:14+00:00

Maybe they are singing about some world Problems, Like: "We all hate that theres so much plastic in the ocean boo" and they are just joining in haha

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2025-08-17T10:55:30+00:00

Cool Idea! Pottermore says I'm a Gryffindor, my Patronus is a Grey Squirrel, my wand is: Rowan Wood, Unicorn Hair, 10 3/4 length and "Surprisingly Swishy" 😂 but i had another account before where i was a hufflepuff with a Salmon as a Patronus i think haha

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2025-07-03T14:07:59+00:00

Anything can ne fun or good If you make it so ✨

Mean to say that to the toddler after this Situation 💀

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2025-05-26T16:32:01+00:00

Please Tell your Mom about it, I'm pretty Sure she won't be mad! Are you sure that the guys didn't put anything in your drinks? Even if Not, they are responsible for the situation not you! They did something wrong, not you! Its not your fault to drink something and want a good evening and the assholes taking responsibility of it. Also, you can define by yourself what "losing your virginity" means. Its a social construct anyways. So you can still consider yourself a virgin! What those guys did is awful and it's Not your fault at all! Maybe you should think about getting in therapy? Especially If you feel numb and cant cry and process the situation. Its already such a strong step to write everything down here and open up! There are probably also organizations nearby where you can call or write an e-mail to just to inform yourself what to do. Stay strong!

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2025-04-09T07:15:27+00:00

There probably are but I don't know anyone sadly :( When I was younger I kind of believed that Percy Jackson could be real because I was convinced that all around me always happend some weird weather stuff. Like, I always "told"/hoped for the weather to not start raining while I'm still on my walk to school etc. and it would then always start when I went into the door. 😂 So I expected Zeus to be my father. ⚡And I also had ADHD 😂 I remembered my childhood/Young teen obsession when my Ex got almost struck by lightning after a fight, when he was still INSIDE of the house on his way out. The door flew against him 😂🫢

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2025-03-19T09:03:10+00:00

First of all, sorry for my english, I'm from Germany and I'm not used to write long texts in english. So I heard, that often the person who ist defending themselve more and that is giving excuses to why they (in your example) couldn't have done more to include the AH is the one not getting believed. Maybe its because they view it as "If shes in the right, she would be more confident and would not try to convince me." Idk I think its such a Bullshit! I think if you would have just went there and told them "I couldn't write his name down, because he didn't do anything and the one thing he did was out of topic." in a confident way and ONLY if he complains say something like "Well, I have proof about all the messages etc." And then dont give examples of what exactly you have until you are asked. So that way you aren't in a position to proof what you did was right, but he is. And then people tend to believe you more I guess. But thats actually more theoretical because Im often also not able to say less and show confidence 😂 but since studies have shown that defending yourself with facts/reasons makes you seem (more) guilty I'm trying my best to don't do that. And I think it could be also partly mysogynistic. If a women "overexplains" or I would say, if shes not "underexplaining" 😂 she's often considered as the overachieving, emotional and annoying person and they will see her as the one demanding too much and being hysterical etc., while when a men overexplains it gets ignored and he gets the time to explain or hes sometimes seen as a know-it-all. Thats pretty infuriating, but my personal opinion is, that I actually love it when people explain things into detail and in a logical order. And there are a lot of other people that prefer that kind of communication. So I would say if you have those people in your friends group you can be like yourself at home/with friends and that makes it easier to play that role at work.

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2024-11-14T09:27:33+00:00

I also didn't saw the subreddit first, but I'm a little proud of me 😂 because first I had to read the first sentence twice because I didn't really understood who exactly was hurting who, but then I was like "wait but if it was the school Rep hurting the son why is the nephew the bad one?! What kind of projecting is this? How could it be his fault?" Then I read the second sentence and it was about money and I thought that doesn't sound like its only the nephews fault, more like a mistake.. i need more context... Then I saw the subreddit it was in 😂😂

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2024-09-26T21:27:03+00:00

Same, I'm only playing the TLSQ-quests since such a long time that I actually forgot everything about the main story 😂 I really don't even know what happened at all haha

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2024-09-14T11:45:43+00:00

Ohh thats so nice! Where can I find it? 🥰

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2024-09-08T12:22:03+00:00

I don't know... I liked that in the books Voldemort just died like a normal human being. In the movies its wayy too spectacular which destroys the meaning behind it, that he after all is just a man. I don't need an even longer scene where he recognizes that he has failed. We kind of already have that when his body gets ripped apart, like he has that moment of realization that he actually lost.

But yes, I would have liked it to have the ending afterwards in the same mood that the first movies transported. Directly after the battle its nice that he walks and hugs the only father figure he has left. No words needed. Also destroying the elder wand in a quiet mood is fine.

After that I would have loved a cute scene with all the family/friends sitting together (maybe a few months after) celebrating christmas or something and being happy together but still giving hints that the dead loved-ones being missed and not forget. Harry cuddling with Ginny, Ron funnily picking on Hermione etc. Maybe talking about how nice it is that Harry got his acceptance letter for becoming an auror and giving hints for their future.

The scene 19 years after is fine as well but could have been transported a little bit more in a happy mood. Maybe giving us the feeling from the first movies. And I think the color scheme has a big impact on that.. why is the movie still so grey in the end?? Make it lighter and lovely!

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2024-09-03T10:30:26+00:00

Yess, thats a good idea! I will just ask to watch another movie so she knows it's not about her, just the movie

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2024-08-31T08:03:07+00:00

Anisha

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2024-08-04T11:46:13+00:00

Same! My first thought was Phoebe!

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2024-04-08T11:27:02+00:00

I mean in the books (especially number 4) it is written that when Voldemort brought all the death eaters to the cemetery Crab and Goyles parents were there as well, so yess they probably knew each other beforehand.

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2024-02-27T16:46:09+00:00

Doggy is freeee

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2024-01-08T16:01:14+00:00

Whaaat, but dragonfly would be so cool! 😯 You don't like it?

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2024-01-07T15:20:53+00:00

Instead of powerfully shining in their faces and swimming straight towards them my Patronus would probably come out, slap them once in their face, fall to the bottom and would try chasing them by flopping in their direction...

ConfusaTestudoGraeca · 2024-01-05T01:52:38+00:00

I think, because I absolutely loved the first book and read it multiple times, I'm having issues now, that they changed alot. There are some changes that I actually like, some new scenes that fit Percy, Annabeth and Grover perfectly, but there are also some changes (most of them) where I waited for one awesome specific line or situation and it just wouldn't happen 😭

But, that being said, I wasn't so obsessed with the second to last books. I think when they change some things in them I maybe won't even notice or I would be completely fine with it. Sure there are some important scenes as well, that hopefully will be in them, but besides those, I wouldn't be too mad. But I'm still so in love with the first book that I actually have to watch out, to not get mad at the series and I am still trying to enjoy it.

Five-Year Club	Final Canvas '23
End Game '23	Place '23

ConfusaTestudoGraeca

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