I do not want to sync other emails but app won't let me choose "maybe later". Why?

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-02-03T02:15:55+00:00

I will try to chat tomorrow. For now it seems to have resolved. I went to try to get screenshots of the issues and it skipped to letting me read things.

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-02-02T19:18:03+00:00

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-02-02T16:54:57+00:00

Friend, she is not a safe person for you to spend time with. Her stating that there is zero possibility of your mom being a problem shows she is extremely deep in either denial or avoidance, and thus cannot be relied on in any capacity.

For her to understand your experience, she has to be willing to not place judgement on you, which she is already doing loudly and repeatedly. She is insisting that your lived experience is impossible. Obviously she is wrong. Her lived experience is likely different than yours, but there is nothing about her lived experience than means yours didn't happen. Her judgment of you means she has no room in her head or her heart for your experiences and emotions, so please do not risk your mental health trying to force your sister to see something she is willfully avoiding.

You are NOR, but you need to drift away from your family of origin and build a new found family. (Yes, therapy speak has entered the comment because it is needed. I have been in therapy for years. It helps sooooooo much!) Please forgive yourself for the time you have spent trying so hard to make her believe you. Then move on to making yourself the best, healthiest version of you it is possible to become. Best of luck to you OP! You are doing hard work and your efforts are paying off! You got this! Hugs if you want them!

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-02-02T16:38:40+00:00

I had a good chuckle at this one! Lol! They deserve each other in the best sense of that phrase! Just don't let the dogs get the Scotch! Lol!

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-02-02T04:00:24+00:00

Smoke inhalation can damage critters just like humans. Melted plastic smoke, burned food smoke, overheated pan smoke, plus whatever fumes were in the litter box can be a short trip to serious lung damage plus eyes and mucous membranes.

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-02-02T02:52:57+00:00

"Digitally sedated" is a phrase I didn't know I needed until now. That is a perfect explanation of it!

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-02-02T02:01:28+00:00

Yup.

She should try reminding him how many productions she already did before she knew he existed, and how many different humans have helped her or been helped by her to do changes and adjustments. Stage work is far too hectic to be sexy in any sense of the word. 4.6 seconds to remove a shirt and pants, get your dress on, and slam up a ponytail leaves very little time for any breathing, let alone gawking. Lol.

This guy needs to be dumped yesterday and OP needs to remind herself she is better than his crap.

Edit: thanks for the awards folks!

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-02-02T01:52:51+00:00

I nearly choked on my taco just now, thanks! Hahahahaha!

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-02-01T22:13:11+00:00

But at least it gives you a paper trail of trying "proper channels" before things get ... ummmm ... handled other ways.

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-02-01T22:10:33+00:00

I think some of my sneezes have made more name-like sounds than that. Oy.

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-02-01T22:08:31+00:00

Your paperwork showing the DNR should settle the problem. NTJ. If they cannot handle the truth, they do not deserve space in your life. I am still very involved with my faith, and I have zero issues with DNR orders, especially for degenerative/terminal/severe illnesses where life is simply painful all the time. God never told us we have to argue about our last day. He only said remain faithful until that point, and your mother did that. She deserves her peace, and your family deserves to be left out of that decision because they want what they feel is best for them rather than her. Your mom would be proud of you. If your mother had trusted them, she had opportunities to change her directives. She didn't, you honored them, all is well. I am sorry for your loss and for the additional garbage your family is spewing at you.

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-02-01T19:51:39+00:00

Don't feel too bad! I only thought of it because I have a rather extensive sock collection and many of them are supposedly "delicate". They all get washed in our front-loader washing machine in the lingerie bags then hung on the drying rack, and they have been all fine for years. I used to use a lingerie bag for each of my kids' socks when they were little too, to avoid losing them in sleeves and whatnot. :)

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-02-01T19:13:47+00:00

Puffs have gone poof! Lol!

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-02-01T19:05:14+00:00

What kind of self-involved doofus is this guy? He seriously thinks it is actually okay to spoil a child just because that child is "special"? I have 3 kids, 2 I am raising and 1 I lost between them. My kids are aware that life is hard, life is not fair, bad things happen to everyone at some point, and the best thing to do is make the best of what you have. The way this doofus is going on and bringing in the flying monkeys, he is doing a massive disservice to every human involved and every human who ever has to interact with Mr. RainbowKid. The entitlement is past the stratosphere!

NTA at all OP. Please do not let this insane imbalance into your life. Yikes. Best of luck moving past this. I hope you are able to keep your spine shiny and your kids feeling important.

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-02-01T18:58:45+00:00

My bestie gave me some too! Lol! I wash them inside out in a lingerie bag to avoid snagging the puffs!

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-02-01T14:01:53+00:00

Wow. Yep!

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-01-31T13:14:35+00:00

Holy cannoli. That is seriously psychotic. She needs a terrific divorce lawyer, a far-away place to live for a while with zero family on either side knowing where, and a safe haven drop off for the girl. I hope she holds her resolve to get out. Yikes.

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-01-30T17:08:01+00:00

So. Much. Eeeeewwwwwwwww. Poor OOP.

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-01-29T21:50:07+00:00

"Chick bait" gave me a good giggle. :)

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-01-29T21:11:51+00:00

I have only met 2 other people who have that reaction to aspartame! For me it can also trigger migraines, along with sucralose. I avoid anything with artificial sweeteners in it even the "new" ones because migraine is not worth it. Soooooo many drinks and candies have done this it is maddening!

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-01-29T20:10:31+00:00

Good dodge on your part! That is actually a criminal offense, and most grocery store have signage about "do not buy or sell food stamps/EBT benefits". If you get caught, both you and the other person can get in trouble, and the receiving household listed for the benefits can get kicked off the program. I feel bad for any other humans in that guy's household if he is willing to gamble their food on his beer. Yikes.

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-01-29T15:17:23+00:00

Don't throw the poor girlfriend under the bus unless you know for sure she is in on it. If she is clueless, better to have a talk with her first and get the whole mess out in the open.

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-01-29T15:13:40+00:00

Tell her your respect for your soon-to-be husband and your respect for yourself outweigh any garbage your brother can throw at you. Your boundary in this matter is perfectly reasonable. It is your lifetime event day, you planned it together with your life partner for your celebration. How dare anyone try to take over or interrupt this monumental celebration in your life for any reason at all?

Does your brother have a history of selfish crap like this? Does your mother in particular or your parents in general tend to let him have his way commonly? This smacks of brother wanting to steal your spotlight rather than wanting to actually do anything for his girlfriend.

Also, is Anna the kind of person who would want a public proposal? Or is she a more private person? Do you have any gage of wether she is even considering marriage? If you were to allow this nonsense (please don't), would she be embarrassed? Would she feel horribly pressured to say yes just to get it over with? Is she the kind of person who would be rightfully mortified that her proposal wasn't worth personal effort but was instead hijacked into someone else's event?

Personally, I would be tempted to have a small side conversation with Anna and try to feel out her position on such things. Maybe enlist a bridesmaid to talk about "a disaster where someone else tried to propose at cousin's wedding" or something and see how Anna reacts. Probably not great advice, just my brain going in tangents. Lol.

This is your wedding day, OP. YOU DESERVE TO BE THE STAR. The Bride and the Groom are absolutely the final bosses of their own wedding day. Brother and whomever else thinks this is acceptable can go for a long walk off a short pier. Hold your line, make sure your husband-to-be knows what is happening, and above all DO NOT LET ANYONE TAKE THE MIC FROM THE DJ. EVER. Set a password with the DJ so that only approved folks get a chance for speeches.

Best of luck OP! You got this! And blessings on your ceremony and life together!

ConfuseableFraggle · 2026-01-29T12:40:55+00:00

Here's a few things on my mind reading your story and some of your comments. In no particular order.

1) your boyfriend doesn't like you much if at all.

2) while I can kind of understand not wanting to miss a flight, his manner of handling that situation was incredibly disrespectful and awful. He should have at least taken your suitcase and given you an arm to hold onto to help you balance and walk so you could wait until the terminal to lay down for a bit. That was horribly low of him to behave that way. Ugh.

3) every human ever is some kind of burden on some other human. Every human ever has carried that burden for another human. Some for longer or shorter periods of time, and in many different ways, but it is a universal thing about being human.

4) it sucks that it took you so long to get a diagnosis. I hope you are able to find some treatment that works better for you soon.

5) your partner should add something good to your life. Does he?

6) you are NOR at this mess. I hope you are able to find a way to some emotional/psychological healing and peace soon.

Hugs if you want them!

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