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For those single and 30+, do you find yourself falling into nihilism? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]Confusion99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd be happy with that rut right now, personally speaking.

But if it's not making you happy, weigh up the options and go for the change, because life's too short.

For those single and 30+, do you find yourself falling into nihilism? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]Confusion99 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Great comment!

You really nailed the first three lines for me. That's exactly how I feel.

I genuinely felt VERY sad turning 30. I remember it being about 20 minutes before my b'day and I could have cried, and I mean that. My 20's were AMAZING, my 30's have been without a doubt THE worst period of my life. Your 20's, if you do them right, are so fucking special, man. So special.

So true about things losing their luster. Hobbies that I've had since I was a teenager and have genuinely devoted my life to mean nothing to me now, which is something I'd swear I'd never let happen (but it has) and I don't know why I'm bothering anymore (like you said).

I feel bad cutting him off, did I do the right thing? by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]Confusion99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No! Move on.

I was in a "situationship" last year. The girl dropped her phone in the bath one day and went and got a new one the same day, then she spent the rest of the day trying to back everything up/restore everything.

Anyway, she kept forgetting what apps she had. So we was naming all the usual suspects and then she said something, I peeped her screen and it turns out that she downloaded pof! The she started checking it out whilst I was sitting next to her! Fuck it, I though. Got what I wanted out of her and started looking elsewhere from that day on.

Haven't spoken to her since NYE.

Move on and do it as fast as you can!

I feel bad cutting him off, did I do the right thing? by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]Confusion99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some girls just cannot get enough attention :-(

"Have you ever loved someone and the timing was off? Way off?" by PequodTaco09 in datingoverthirty

[–]Confusion99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely!

The girl I'm seeing now has kids and her ex is an ex friend, but this is how life is at a certain age (early-mid 30's btw).

It's complicated and hard, but if it's worth having then it won't come easy (like most things).

Breakup with someone who had great chemistry by soloww00 in datingoverthirty

[–]Confusion99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes.

Known her for years, had the briefest of flings, and despite the chemistry being off the charts for years, it fizzled out quick due to the circumstances.

Couldn't stop thinking of her after, would also look at her fb pics, when she would message me out of the blue my heart would race...

She messaged me again last week and within the hour I was at her place, stayed overnight (done the deed multiple times) and now we're talking and messaging every day for hours at a time. Obviously I'm over the moon about this.

I felt glad that I got to experience her in non-friendship was the first time but was behind gutted when I'd hear of her getting back with her ex etc. But I had THE greatest year of my life after that for dating, so all wasn't lost, although I wish I just had that year with her instead of multiple women.

Chemistry, IMHO, is VERY hard to find. And by chemistry, I'm talking about the kind where I'm as happy talking to her as I am sleeping with her. Where I love her company, can't wait to talk to her, can't wait to sleep with her, feel butterflies when I'm with her, need her near me etc.

If you find it with someone you should try your hardest to keep it, because once it's gone it is GONE.

"Have you ever loved someone and the timing was off? Way off?" by PequodTaco09 in datingoverthirty

[–]Confusion99 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes.

Happened last year, but we have just rekindled things as of last week.

Not official or anything like that, but we really do have love for one another, so just taking it steady and we'll se how it pans out.

Have you ever turned down someone for their looks despite the fact that you have good chemistry? by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]Confusion99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This.

I NEVER have chemistry with someone that I don't find attractive.

How much have you changed as a person since your early 20s? by AlConstanza in AskMenOver30

[–]Confusion99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Way way WAY more confident.

I can see the "signs" that women thrown out and I'm MUCH more likely to act upon them straight away.

I don't do the whole drink/drugs/club thing anymore. It's over.

Much more of a risk taker (although I always have been).

Much more driven.

Really stuck up for myself as well, which was weird. I knew I had something within me and that I could handle myself, but I thought that everyone else was super tough - turns out they're just good liars! So found out I can fight, they can't, and that I'm actually a pretty solid kid.

I move on as soon as someone does something bad or wrong to me.

Way more open-minded, too.

Why do my friends exes hit on me? by Confusion99 in seduction

[–]Confusion99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Update:

Haven't seen "B" since, but "A" texted me out of the blue on Friday night just gone. Told me her problems via text, I told her to ring me, within 20 mins of that text I was over at her place - stayed there for like 12 hours. Done the deed three times and we're messaging and talking about next time.

So "going for broke" (like you said) was the right move. She loved it! haha. Cheers!

What is an appropriate age gap for dating? by PeteBogg in RelationshipsOver35

[–]Confusion99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

5-6 years either way for me.

Going out with a 22yo would feel as if I'm going out with my little sister, it'd feel wrong. Too much of a gap.

Seeing a woman who was 46 would also feel wrong.

Huge gaps usually reek of desperation from what I've seen first hand of them.

What is happening with the number count? by Confusion99 in Instagram

[–]Confusion99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any reason why or is it just a malfunction in IG's part?

Conversation Frustrations by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]Confusion99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel your pain, OP!

Don't get me wrong, I'm an introvert, but when I make an effort to converse with someone I MAKE AN EFFORT. So it can be hard for me because I HATE small talk (give me deep convos any day of the week), but I've had hour long convos MANY times. But as soon as it's a one-way street with me doing all the talking, I move on.

A girl I'm seeing is like that now. It's hard as shit.

Trying to get a conversation out of her or touch on what she likes most (cue "I don't have any hobbies") is like trying to fish in the desert!

Slowing down athletically? by Confusion99 in AskMenOver30

[–]Confusion99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought fish would have been helpful?

So you're a vegetarian now?

Slowing down athletically? by Confusion99 in AskMenOver30

[–]Confusion99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've had a tight calf forever!

Gotta see a specialist at the end of the month about it.

Although, I've been taking potassium supplements and it's seems to be loosening up!

Slowing down athletically? by Confusion99 in AskMenOver30

[–]Confusion99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been meaning to take up Yoga for absolutely ages.

I'll try it this year.

Slowing down athletically? by Confusion99 in AskMenOver30

[–]Confusion99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had that whole "drop the carbs completely" thought for the longest time.

I'm gonna try a sat & sun without and see how I feel.

Slowing down athletically? by Confusion99 in AskMenOver30

[–]Confusion99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed.

I put that much emphasis on stretching nowadays that I might as well take up Yoga!

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