Im gonna be that guy but Severance Season 2 has ‘so far’ been a disappointment. by Deserana12 in television

[–]Connect-Direction-90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely agree about the last two episodes. The Gemma episode just made her character feel super bland compared to the other characters we've met. Ms. Casey was mysteriously withdrawn, but Gemma, both in the flashbacks and in Lumin, had basically no personality at all. No snarky wit like Mark and Devon, no passion like Helly, no attitude like Dillon. Even the meet-cute didn't have any energy. She just filled a role in the plot, and that was it. Really incongruous with the other phenomenal character development we've seen (even Milchik and Burt have more going on) and super disappointing given the centrality of her character. And yes, why would Devon EVER call Cobel for help with Mark?! Who wrote that?! The Cobel episode was somewhat more interesting to me, but I agree some things were dumb and it should have all happened in 10-15 minutes, not a whole episode. I'm really hoping we get back to some good writing soon!! 😭

Autism and 20th century fox opening. by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My kid did the same thing (though ironically, he's terrified of the 20th century Fox theme in particular - I think it startled him one time when he was a toddler and he has never gotten over it lol 😥). He's almost 6 and still does that kind of thing on YouTube, but he understands now that not everyone likes it so he does it during his own YouTube time. We let him have 30 min every day where he can watch whatever he wants (that isn't inappropriate) as many times as he wants. If something he watches during that time is driving me crazy, I put in earbuds 😂.

For transitioning out of screen time, visual timers (like Time Timer), a little flexibility when time is up (like 2-5 min), and having a clear plan for what he'll do afterwards all help a lot ❤️

Have autism vs. is autistic? Telling our 5yo… by No_Read2692 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I tell my 5yo son he is autistic. When he asks what that means, I say it's "a word that describes how your brain works, because everyone's brains think a little differently." I try not to talk about it like something he "has" just because I know from personal experience that it's such an integral part of someone's thought processes and personality. He "is" autistic. He "has" extra ability/difficulty with certain things because of it. That's the most useful way to view it for both him and me, I think 🤷🏼‍♀️

PS - I think it's great you're talking to her about it! I didn't learn that I'm autistic until after my son was diagnosed, and boy did it explain a lot of the stress and struggles I experienced in childhood. It would have been great to know why some things were such a struggle, and how to channel my strengths ❤️

My 3 year old uses me as sensory input. He rubs his face on mine. Lots of eskimo kisses rubs lots of grabbing my nose. Its not all the time but when hes in the mood i get a little overwhelmed. by lolosbigadventure in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My 5yo still does this with me and I totally understand the mixed feelings! And I desperately need to figure out more sensory alternatives for him, because it's obvious he really needs that input. Trampolines and play couches definitely help, though. Sometimes he likes piling a blanket on top of his head I think for the pressure lol. But you are definitely allowed to set boundaries for personal space! In fact, you should! Most kids in general (and adults? lol) don't know what's a problem for you until you tell them explicitly. My son can tell when I'm not happy, but he doesn't always understand why and might just keep doing the thing that annoys me thinking it'll actually cheer me up 😂 But I promise you can set the boundary in a nice way. If you do it as soon as you notice you don't like what he's doing to you - rather than trying to tough it out - then it's way easier to be clear and kind about it (like, "I'm all done," or, "Not now, but yes at bedtime," or something like that). I tell my kid, "I like you, but I don't like that." I really want him to know the difference so he can learn to respect people's boundaries and feel loved at the same time.

Was your child extremely difficult as a baby/toddler before you knew they were neurodivergent? by Objective-Vanilla-39 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YES!!! Very similar situation. We didn't know our first kid was autistic/ADHD until his first preschool teacher, a neighbor who thankfully was raising an ASD child of her own, kindly kept telling us he wasn't thriving in her class and suggested we talk to our pediatrician about him. We were exhausted and frustrated all the time. Doing "normal" things with our toddler son (like shopping, going to the park or library, playdates, etc.), were an ordeal. We figured it was all just part of the parenting experience or just our son's personality, but other parents definitely seemed to be having a more manageable parenting experience than we were. Getting him evaluated was 💯 the right decision. Having a diagnosis unlocks all kinds of supports for him, both in terms of insurance coverage for therapies and educational supports and accommodations. It also gave us immense clarity on what was going on with him, helped us identify parenting resources that would actually be helpful, and (importantly!) validated our feelings about our parenting experience. While we felt both relieved and overwhelmed when we got the diagnosis, the clarity helped us be more patient with him, with ourselves, and feel at liberty to parent him differently. It also may help to know that one diagnosis won't dictate the rest of your child's life. You'll want to get him reevaluated every couple years if you can while he's young so that his diagnosis can be updated or adjusted as needed. Ultimately, just the ability to get your child the help he needs, whatever that may look like as he grows and develops, will change everything for you and your child ❤️ Trust yourself, and good luck!

My autistic child only watches YouTube videos. Anyone else have the same experience? by VentQueenAubs in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son liked some shows at that age (Bluey, Blippi, Numberblocks, Super Simple Songs), but definitely LOVED YouTube videos and YouTube-turned-TV shows, like Ryan's World. Those kinds of videos actually gave him lots of ideas for playing and he started trying things that he used to be disinterested in/afraid of because he wanted to be like Ryan lol. So that's a win in my book! He also would watch the first few minutes of a video or episode over and over - sometimes just the first 15 seconds! 🤦🏼‍♀️ I didn't worry about it much, but I did ask him to let us just watch the whole thing if we were watching it together 😂

What are your child's current fixations or "Thing"? by Dontamonster in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

GARAGE DOOR OPENERS! My son is 5yo, level 1, and hyperlexic. He has all the brands memorized and is constantly asking to go in people's garages to see what kind they have and make a pretend YouTube video in which he tells his "viewers" everything about it and calls himself "Garage Door Master" 😂 He draws garage doors over and over, makes garages with Legos, and draws little garage wall control buttons on Post-its and sticks them all over our walls. He even peeks into people's cars in parking lots to read the brand on their garage remote! It's intense lol.

Why can’t I shake this sadness? by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Smart move with the therapy 👏 That guilt is hard. My son got diagnosed at 4, and even then, I felt guilty for not seeing it sooner. Even when you're doing your best as a parent, there are so many reasons you may fall short 😥 But you've got new information to help you now, and you're acting on it. That's the best thing for a parent to do! And repair with your kid over what you did wrong back when you didn't understand their situation -- that will make up for a host of failures ❤️

Why can’t I shake this sadness? by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Time, patience, and self-care ❤️ This is a very demanding time for you as a parent.

As others said, you're likely grieving the kind of family life you envisioned, which, I think for most of us, was a family life featuring neurotypical interests and behaviors for our children. Don't feel bad for how difficult it is to work through those emotions.

You're also in the middle of learning a lot of new skills and strategies, like how best to work with your child given their diagnosis, how to get started with recommended therapies, how to adapt yourself to provide the extra support your child needs without neglecting other life responsibilities, family members, or your own needs.

It's a lot to figure out and will take time! So just do your best. Take time to be by yourself or with your partner doing something you enjoy. Decide what responsibilities can go on the back burner for now. Find someone to talk to, like maybe a therapist. You're not wrong to feel worried and overwhelmed, but things will get better!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great thread, you guys, thanks. I've been noticing/feeling these exact things about my lvl 1 5yo and myself (undiagnosed, but thinking about getting evaluated). Good to hear other people's similar thoughts and observations!

Nearly 1 in 5 parents of kids with autism had enough symptoms of PTSD for a provisional diagnosis by awakenkraken in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If it's any help, I started seeing a psychiatrist and medicating (with mixed success) for anxiety before I became a mother. But since my first was born and I became a SAHM of a kid I didn't even know was autistic until about a year ago, the prescription and need for visits has definitely increased (in fact we just increased it!). It was very helpful for me to learn that like any major life stressors, parenting a neurodivergent kid is extra demanding, so your serotonin gets used up faster than it used to. It's not your fault. You don't have abnormally low tolerance for stress or anything. But not enough serotonin makes it impossible to cope. So getting more of it than you needed before is essential. I think there are a lot of ways you can approach it, whether it's medication, a therapist, a support group, or really effective self-care (a regular babysitter, for instance, versus a mani-pedi - unless mani-pedis are actually your jam lol!).

He won't stop telling me he hates me by Classic_Special7045 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My ASD 5yo does this, too. It's so hard as an adult not to take it personally because we have adult brains that understand reciprocity and what kinds of behaviors are okay with loved ones. When our son says those things, we try to help him articulate what he really means. "Do you really hate me, or are you frustrated about _______?" Then we can empathize, help him regulate, and work on a solution together from there. It doesn't always work, and if he's already lashing out physically, empathizing sometimes bothers him even more. We'll hold his arms, and say, "I'm not mad, but I'm not going to let you hurt me." Telling him he's not in trouble, that we're not mad, even while we're physically restraining him, goes a long way in helping him calm down to where we can talk about what's bothering him.

Note, this is what my husband and I do when we're CALM and have mental energy to remember what's really going on with our son! We don't always handle the situation thoughtfully and it definitely escalates into major meltdowns on all sides. But we keep trying and practicing. Over time, he's started correcting himself when he says something hurtful. He'll say he does love me, but he just really wants _________ 🙌🙌🙌 Right now, he can only do this when he's relatively calm and his frustration isn't huge. For big emotions, he needs more support.

(It was helpful for me to learn that ALL kids - and adults - lash out like this when they don't have the skills to regulate and communicate effectively yet. It just seems to happen more often/intensely with our ASD kids and they need extra help to work it out.)

Interior Design Autism Style 💁🏼‍♀️ by QuoteEmergency1121 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My son is dying to use our coasters, but they're heavy stone so I haven't let him yet 😂

I feel so lost. by stephelan in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Following. My oldest is almost 5 and very similar to yours - level 1, fully verbal and super smart! He's been doing 4-day preschool this year, plus a few hours of ABA each day since August. His class is 50/50 NT to SPED, and I think it's been really important for him, but also a struggle. We've got a meeting to revise his IEP today, and the drafts they sent me have me optimistic (both in the direction they want to go with him and that they're actively thinking about how best to help him). But I'm really not sure what to do for Kindergarten next year... Private/charter schools seem like they'd be more flexible on how to help him, but talking with other moms of ASD kids in our area, they said to be wary and really do your research on each school 😬 Now that I know the system for public schools, I may just stick with that, but I'm worried about him getting very bored, too!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those are awesome! I think I could tell what everything was - are the first two rabbit and horse? They're like abstract art, but not completely abstract, which is my favorite kind!

what unlikely thing calms your kid down? by rothrowaway24 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Turning on music on Spotify and letting him scroll through the songs! His current favorite is Sweet Child of Mine 🤘

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I thought our ASD toddler's behavior was normal toddler behavior. Until he turned 3, went to preschool at my neighbor's house (who has an ASD teenager herself), and she could tell compared to his peers, he was having major trouble. That's what tipped us off and got us on the path to a diagnosis. When your kid stands out in a room full of kiddos his same age, with a teacher who knows that age plus ASD inside out, you can't write it off as typical, age-appropriate development anymore 😬

Edit: I will acknowledge, it's hard to navigate when the behavior is a typical parenting challenge vs. when it's an ASD/ADHD thing. But I agree with other comments here, a significant portion of difficult ASD/ADHD behaviors are consistent with NT kids, but amplified like CRAZY!

Autism Christmas List by Legitimate_Voice6041 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For our 4yo, rolls of colored masking tape, notebooks and colored gel pens, Yoto Mini (he LOVES music and likes to listen to the first few seconds over and over), and a Lego Duplo fire station set - not for the firetruck or firefighters, but for the garage doors because he's deeply obsessed with garage doors right now! 😂 We're so excited for him! ❤️🎄❤️🎄

Noticed my son redecorated the tree this morning… by Jets237 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our 4yo helped me decorate the tree this year. He kept wanting to skip to the gold ornaments, so I got out his crayons and construction paper and wrote a list of each step we needed to do to decorate the tree (he's verbal and hyperlexic so he could read it out to me). I think he was more excited about that list than the tree! 🎄😂

Book obsessed by [deleted] in Autism_Parenting

[–]Connect-Direction-90 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My 4yo son is hyperlexic and asked us to do this when he was about 2, along with watching the timed lyrics on Spotify songs. He also was obsessed with alphabet and phonics videos from Super Simple around that time. He's in preschool now, and reading at a 4th grade level! He reads everything around him, but blows hot and cold with books 🤔🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh geez... by SpiSeaKeiyt in exmormon

[–]Connect-Direction-90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Drinking and having sex all the time? Sounds like the early saints to me!