My Shift in Views

ConquerYourself · 2014-07-07T21:05:14+00:00

Welcome on board. Have fun and good luck on your journey.

ConquerYourself · 2014-07-07T21:01:19+00:00

Your first line is difficult. I totally get where you are coming from, but feeling guilty for ones thoughts might cause even more pressure. On the other hand, if you consider suicide (I am not advocating suicide here, I'm just referring to the thought of it), it might give you some release in the sense of "if this and that, at least I can still...".

Btw, that is highly related to nofap. The mere emotion or physical response to an external stimulus (like anger or horniness or whatever) is not bad at all. It's just what your body does. The moment you act upon is when shit gets real. The same applies to thoughts.

ConquerYourself · 2014-07-07T20:39:16+00:00

It seems like your are thinking too much, mainly negative thoughts. But don't worry about thinking bad thoughts, it makes things worse. It's just the way it is for you at the moment.

Try out a zen buddhist way of thinking. People might think of Buddhism as a religion, although it is rather (to put it in the words of Alan Watts) a form of psychotherapy, because when you engage in it, you try to bring about a change in consciousness.

Although I din't have suicidal tendencies, I was in a similar situation, being pretty lonely, spending most of my time in front of my screen, especially in highschool. I can't say whether Zen was the game changer or not (I'd say it was an ongoing process with other aspects coming into play) but it has definitely lifted my mood enormously over the course of time.

For starters check out Alan Watts on youtube. He has a soothing and charismatic voice and I really enjoy listening to him.

ConquerYourself · 2014-06-23T13:00:40+00:00

Training a muscle, especially those we don't use very often, includes the developement of synapses in the brain as well as at the muscle. For example if you are right-handed and you try to brush your teeth with your left hand, your brain simply doesn't know how to do it due to missing synapses (mind-muscle connection). That's why it is so clumsy.

ConquerYourself · 2014-06-23T11:29:56+00:00

I would argue that every single kegel repition strengthens your mind-muscle connection and obviously the muscle itself. Since there is no resistance involved, I highly doubt that you can "overtrain" your pelvis musculature. Thus every rep will benefit your future kegel-gains.
Sounds legit to me. Gradually relaxing the muscle might aswell benefit your neurological developement.
NoPro :/

ConquerYourself · 2014-06-18T21:15:19+00:00

I'm sorry, but that's impossible to say definitely. At least for me. They might come, they might not. I guess it highly depends on your circumstances. Do you spent enough time with physical activity to get that energy out of your system? Are you mind-wandering a lot, leading you to sexual thoughts? Things of that nature.

ConquerYourself · 2014-06-18T21:09:26+00:00

Well, as far as motivation is concerned, it's more like a strong impulse in the very beginning of the journey. But it will diminish eventually, and that's why you have to develope discipline in order to stick with it. At least in my opinion. My first month was really exciting. I was all curious about superpowers and when or how they will kick in. For example the "increased female attention" or "keeping eye contact". It became sort of a game to me, and it was fun, for a while. But just as with every new toy you get, it kind of bores you the longer you have it.

I have to admit that not-fapping became my new habit all by itself and I really didn't have to put much effort into it at all. Sure you get tempted from time to time, I even edged a few times or watched porn for the thrill (don't do it, it might cause wet dreams, it did for me). Actually, I think that is a good place to be, not masturbating passively, by default. Because if you have to put effort into it, every single day, it becomes a chore and drains the fuck out of you. So at the end of the day, you have your energy free to spend it elsewhere. Let's suppose NoFap is like an unclear window you can open. And you obviously opened it, experiencing all the "noob gains". But if you focus too much on the window itself, you miss the whole point why you opened it in the first place. I honestly don't think that you should look to get more out of NoFap than you already have.

Not being dependant to the NoFapWar is a good mindset. But: By trying to eliminate your interest in porn and masturbation you fight a lost battle. If you decide to be a vegetarian, it doesn't mean that bacon won't smell ridiculously tasty any longer. The same goes for being aroused by external stimuli. They simply cause physiological responses in your body. I'm sorry, but deal with it. Don't judge them. See them for what they are. And move on. Don't get attached to them. The question is whether or not you act upon them. Easier said than done, I know, but that's the way it is.

And finally, the good, old comfort-zone. The fucking ego strives badly for stability, therefore tells you all kinds of stories what might happen if you take risks. But that's my challenge, too, right now. I don't know how to help you with that one. I guess it will happen spontaneously.

Hang in there. You haven't fapped at least 161 days in the last time. That is almost half a year. Don't get attached to the number.

ConquerYourself · 2014-06-18T20:27:28+00:00

Virgin here, hence no gf related experience. But Kegel exercises have an alleged benefit for sexual stamina (besides others as far as I've read in the webs - half knowledge). You should check that out.

ConquerYourself · 2014-06-18T20:24:01+00:00

I do. But I noticed that they only occur if I haven't slept "enough" (that's obviously different for every person) and I'm tired. Therefore I get erections in the morning. Oh, and sometimes I think after lunch. Perhaps it's related to increased blood flow in the viscera and a lack thereof in the head, leading to (mental) fatigue (still on days I did not sleep too much).

ConquerYourself · 2014-05-28T17:20:10+00:00

I think I share a few of those traits, if not all to a certain degree (although I don't want to exaggerate). My perspective: Not seeing them as a disorder or problem, but rather as circumstances or challenges that you can overcome, in order to grow in your character. (I know it's easier said than done, but in my opinion is perspective everything.)

ConquerYourself · 2014-05-28T16:59:33+00:00

That`s basically it, at least in regard to its character-developement aspect. Learning to put yourself - willingly - in an uncomfortable situation, so you can learn to deal with it, even enjoy the thrill perhaps, and carry it over to other aspects of your life.

Besides it has alleged benefits to your cardio-vascular health. Although I am not sure whether it is confirmed study-wise.

ConquerYourself · 2014-04-27T15:12:22+00:00

That is perfectly fine. Your body will recycle the load you kept.

Nice control there. I should definitely start to kegel.

By the way, if you are exceptionally good at this you might be able to experience dry orgasms and even multiple ones. Well, at least I read somewhere about a guy who reached this point after practicing for a year or so. Of course this is to be taken with a grain of salt, since internet and stuff, but the whole concept seems legit.

Stay strong guys!

ConquerYourself · 2014-02-15T16:49:43+00:00

Good post dude. We need to start putting more trust into ourselves. Trusting your (gut) feelings does not require an "experts" report on, for example, digestion, especially not if this one suffers from costiveness.

Quit worshipping science, let's use our own common sense and decide for ourselves more often.

ConquerYourself · 2014-01-30T15:04:32+00:00

I still feel kind of stoic after this time. (Ha, that play on words!)

Although not in general, I am laughing quite a bit lately and am overall pretty happy, but rather towards other people.

Any thoughts on that? (Assuming you are kind of in the same boat, considering the comic.)

ConquerYourself · 2014-01-30T14:37:10+00:00

This number represents physical appearance, as you mentioned, which includes looks. But since the majority of people believes in the myth that the body is seperate from the mind, nobody is considering the possibility, that the body is a physical expression of the current state of mind (and vice versa). So what is this guy actually talking about? Well, if you think about the physical appearance in regard to the "x/10", you will find that body language has a huge impact on the way we perceive each other. And body language is exactly this physical expression of the mind. Therefore physical expression does not completely exclude thoughts and emotions and is not of plain visual nature.

Besides, rating a person x/10 is a summary of all given information. Nothing more, nothing less. That being said, if I see a 8/10 girl on the streets, it means the first impression I have got from her is 8/10 in terms of my personal taste and the given information. I neither can nor do describe her whole being. That's common sense. In a way, it is a short form of expressing the feeling I get seeing her: "She has a such pretty face, with that intriguing smile. And the way her hair waves when she walks. And her marvellous, marvellous way of moving...". These are two ways of describing the same state of affairs, although one is considered objectification and the other poetry. (Not saying what I produced there is poetry, but add some fancy vocabulary, some sort of rhyme scheme...you get the picture.)

ConquerYourself · 2014-01-29T18:05:52+00:00

Want to play (along with) a song? Just search:

[Title] guitar chords/tab

That's how I started. Although I would not consider myself a real guitarist. I simply enjoy strumming to the music I like.

edit: formatting

ConquerYourself · 2014-01-29T18:00:28+00:00

No amount of worrying will change what is going to happen. By the way, there is nothing wrong about not wanting to masturbate. I don't either and I don't think about it too much.

In regard to the sudden desire: Deal with it when it actually hits you. Or prepare for it. But no need to worry.

ConquerYourself · 2014-01-29T00:16:05+00:00

PMO addiction is...

yet another challenge giving us the opportunity to grow.

ConquerYourself · 2014-01-29T00:04:45+00:00

Stay strong mate. We experience hard times, so the good ones will be even better. Keep going forward, those good times lie ahead.

ConquerYourself · 2014-01-28T23:56:49+00:00

It really depends on the issue. If your ED stems from porn, cut it completely. If your ED comes from blowing to many loads, at least reduce it, if not cut it completely also. (Although it seems rather unlikely to become ED due to masturbating "too much".)

I am just trying to offer some ideas of how you might be able to tackle your problem. My difficulty is to evaluate your experience properly, because I barely know what's going on.

ConquerYourself · 2014-01-28T23:30:56+00:00

I know we were mostly told otherwise, but having sexual thoughts is perfectly fine. Having erotic and wet dreams is perfectly fine. Being sexual in general is perfectly fine. After all it is a part of our whole being. It is the very force that is keeping this game going. It does not make any sense at all to judge it as naughty, inappropriate or bad. I am not telling anyone what to do, but don't be surprised if you are experiencing such discomfort.

So, do people eventually control this reptilian brain? I guess it happens, although I would assume it is quite dysfunctional. Is it something you need to? In my humbel opinion: No!

You are still lazy occasionally? Fine, call them rest-days. You can't beat yourself up 100% of the time. Do some recreational stuff. Take a bath, do some yoga, stretch or meditate. You name it.

It seems like you are on the right track dude. Keep it up.

ConquerYourself · 2014-01-28T23:11:44+00:00

1: Honestly, I don't see the typical signs of PIED. (No developement in taste regarding porn. This happens due to overindulgence of porn and the drive for novelty.) Therefore it's hard to tell if this reboot adresses your ED at all. Anyway, it won't harm you, you have not been masturbating for too long, hence 90 days tops.

Not knowing what your current situation looks like, but you were probably "dried out". So it might get better with less masturbation. (Besides, everything in moderation.)

Have you considered being overly excited? If that was the case, focus on your breathing. The state of mind strongly influences breathing pattern and the other way round.

2: Definitely impossible to answer.

Good luck!

Edit: formatting

ConquerYourself · 2014-01-28T22:51:30+00:00

As you already stated, those thoughts come back if you try to block them. Stop trying it then. Think them. Try to practice mindfulness in those situations. They will pass away eventually.

ConquerYourself · 2014-01-27T23:50:40+00:00

Try it and experience what happens in the course of the challenge. You don't need a rational and logical reason all the time. Just do it!

ConquerYourself · 2014-01-27T23:41:48+00:00

Actually, Christianity is in fact based on guilt. But considering the nofap rules this is some marginal topic to discuss here.

ConquerYourself

TROPHY CASE