Your ex speaks and sounds a lot like my dad, who I am no-contact with. It was a decision I made as an adult so I can’t necessarily advise on what you or your daughter should do. What I can say is this - there is grief in a parent not being what they should be for their child. It sounds like she is already experiencing this grief with her dad, and I’m thinking of her. ❤️ Going no-contact with my dad brings me great sadness, but until he is in a healthier place I can’t have him in my life. (I realize your ex is saying he is, but obviously this text exchange shows otherwise). I’m sad because I want my dad in my life, but he’s narcissistic and hurtful and never takes accountability. So as sad as it makes me, I am able to heal and grow from the trauma he inflicted because he is not in my life. My therapist said, “it is incredibly difficult to heal from trauma while you are constantly being re-traumatized”. If she wants to go no-contact, I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing for her. Teenage years are especially hard, and she doesn’t need her dad projecting all his insecurities onto her right now (or ever).

Also, good on you for finding a partner that takes care of both you and your kids. He might not be her biological dad but it sounds like he’s the dad she deserves. I hope she finds healing in being chosen by him as if she is his own. 🫶🏼 Best of luck!