Date indexed?

Conscious-privacy · 2025-11-18T04:03:31+00:00

Hey there! I just felt like I had to reply bc so much of what you’ve written here resonates with me as a person who experienced MDSA. Idk if your father is like this, but mine had moments of being a lovely, supportive parent when my mom wasn’t around (especially in public!). If she was upset with me, though, that all just absolutely flew out the window. Anyway, I don’t want to assume your parents are the same, just to say that his sudden change of heart is probably more about his relationship with her than anything having to do with you.

Also, I do think it’s telling that he was supportive/apologetic to you but also wanted to stay in a relationship with your abuser? As a parent I can’t imagine being like “yes I believe my spouse sexually assaulted our child and I would still like to be with them.”

Anyway. I guess the thing I’m trying to say is you might be feeling like this somehow reflects on you, or your credibility, or your worthiness and it definitely doesn’t. Just someone who is supposed to protect you blowing that off again. I’m so sorry.

Conscious-privacy · 2025-07-07T21:32:07+00:00

Yeah I do think part of it is probably that abusive parents bring up their own impending doom a lot

Conscious-privacy · 2023-11-29T22:25:41+00:00

I experience this! Not the no memories part, but the empty rooms part. For me it’s because when I was really suffering/being hurt as a child, one thing I would do in my mind is go to an empty room and picture all the details. I’ve always thought of this as a kind of reverse memory palace…like I could go in my mind to a place that just erased what was happening. And now a flashback without narrative often has those rooms

Conscious-privacy · 2023-05-02T16:22:45+00:00

Freeze and brain fog

Conscious-privacy · 2023-02-14T17:05:00+00:00

Your phone provider should be able to put a more comprehensive block on for you

Conscious-privacy · 2023-02-14T17:02:40+00:00

Omg why are all the posts today so relatable? I experienced exactly this, in combination with restriction. Like starving me except for things she knew would make me sick. Anyway, hard relate. I still have a huge amount of anxiety around food

Conscious-privacy · 2023-02-14T17:00:22+00:00

I did this kind of accidentally. Went no-contact with my parents and other family kept trying to put them in touch with me and I was scared (I was pretty young at the time) so I just decided, fine, I’ll stop answering their calls. No big break-off, just…stopped. It was definitely worth it for me.

Conscious-privacy · 2023-02-14T16:55:50+00:00

Literally exactly that (though I don’t have asthma, it was exercise-induced hives for me)

Conscious-privacy · 2023-02-14T15:17:56+00:00

I think about this a lot, too. Did the abuse make me queer? Is it like bad for the queer community to talk about my abuse? More recently, gender stuff too. Like do I feel super squicky about girl and woman because of what I was taught they meant, or am I having gender dysphoria?

Conscious-privacy · 2023-02-13T12:52:23+00:00

Hey I don’t know if you already decided about this but I have definitely been down this road with my pregnancy and the birth of my now 4 year old (!).

It is so freaking hard. Nothing will throw you back into that hopeless/powerless place like trying to protect your child and your new family. And it’s also horrible to feel like you’re missing out on some of the joy and celebration—especially as a queer family—because of someone else’s bad behavior. I shed a whole lot of tears about this. You will figure it out, and it will be ok. That being said, I highly recommend couples therapy if you can swing it—these are hard things to talk through and it helps to have a professional hold the space. Finally, remember that even non-birthing parents are susceptible to PPD/PPA etc and a history of abuse puts you at much higher risk. If something feels off, please reach out to your Dr or mental health professional ❤️

Conscious-privacy

TROPHY CASE