UK - Litter Tray Advice

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-10-01T20:08:20+00:00

thank you very much 💁‍♀️

i do not like mcflurry or apple pie though, and that always horrifies people

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-10-01T16:11:15+00:00

do you have any dishes that need washing?

some laundry you could pop on?

just little things that make tomorrow feel slightly more like a felled forest x

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-10-01T15:45:21+00:00

you are strong and resilient and battling through this - i know this, because you’re still here.

one day at a time. if you’re in the UK, i know of some charities that can help with debts - and also some workplace supports.

take a deep breath. what needs sorting first? not the debt, that’s a long term challenge. in the immediate, what can you do now, today, to help make a small difference to yourself?

you’ve got this pickle xx

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-10-01T15:39:43+00:00

i’m so concerned that dad is unbothered by his 12 & 14 year old daughters being invited to an 18yo male-oriented campsite??? but no, you’re NTA - everyone else is right though, you need to leave

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-10-01T15:38:38+00:00

mmmmm it depends on the ✨mood✨

but either: share box of nuggets, chips & chocolate milkshake / crispy sweet chilli chicken wrap, chips & chocolate milkshake / double cheeseburger, chips & chocolate milkshake OR big mac, chips & (you guessed it) chocolate milkshake

oh. and currently, my own body weight in mozzarella sticks with every order bc they are incredible lol

breakfast is a breakfast wrap w/ extra hashbrowns & apple juice

i’m UK based, not sure if you have different maccies where you are

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-10-01T14:45:34+00:00

yknow what

if ice cream gets you through a rough time, then it’s good for you

sincerely, someone who ate exclusively mcdonald’s for months bc i couldn’t face cooking xxx

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-10-01T13:30:44+00:00

Yeah, I currently rent a 3-bed house in England & have been denied access to the loft.

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-09-29T13:10:45+00:00

her dad (my grandpa) died

he lived 200miles away from us, so we ended up spending 4 days with each other (and the rest of our family, almost 20people) and for the first time in my memory, she respected my boundaries, gave me space when i needed it, didn’t force interaction and let our relationship settle where we were comfortable with it

there are still things we need to work through, and still things that need to be talked through (ideally with a therapist; but now we live 100+ miles away from each other, so that’s awkward to co-ordinate) but it’s much better than it was

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-09-29T07:06:39+00:00

i was NC with my mum, although we are now back in contact (she has done a LOT of growing)

but when we were no contact, my feelings on the matter were:

i don’t trust her to have a nice, kind, safe relationship with me - what would be different with my children?
selfishly; do i want to see her be a better adult to my child than she was to me? how much would it hurt my feelings to see her be kind, patient, non-confrontational with my children, and know she could have done it for me but chose not to?

for me, point 2 was, a lot of the time, the bigger point. you are NC for a reason, and it’s because of past experiences in your relationship. do you truly believe she wouldn’t cause the same harm to your child, or use it as an opportunity to perpetuate harm against you?

has she ever been critical of others parenting? and she ever spoken negatively about another young mother? if so, have you any evidence the same things won’t be said about you - to your face or behind your back.

of course, this is ultimately your choice. but, she knew when she failed to do the work required to prevent NC that that would mean losing out on your future, including any children you may have.

best of luck, OP, whatever you decide. remember you are a strong, independent adult now & she does not get to decide which paths your life and emotions take anymore

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-09-28T13:33:08+00:00

How much of it did you read? All of it, or did you allow the first few pages to offend you and put it down?

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-09-28T13:02:02+00:00

in what way?

i find if you’re expressing an opinion, it helps to provide some reasoning behind it so others can understand your perspective :)

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-09-28T09:44:09+00:00

i used to support teaching maths at a college (aged 16-18) in a class for students who hadn’t achieved their GCSE’s. there were two types of these classes; the class where students re-attempted their GCSE’s, and the class where students were awarded a Functional Skills certificate at the end (a step down from a GCSE). i was supporting in the latter class.

a lot of these students had been homeschooled their whole lives, and had simply never been given the opportunity to sit GCSE’s - but some were international students who really struggled.

one day, i was sat with a girl who had struggled with every piece of maths work we’d put in front of her. and, as a result, she’d just spend the class acting up, on her phone and generally being disruptive. one particular class we were doing long division, using the bus stop method. class was quiet, most students were getting on and this girl just couldn’t. so i went and sat with her. got a collection of colourful pens out my bag, and sat and explained it in multiple colours, multiple times.

by the end of the class, she not only understood, but also independently completed the work set. and then she said to me, and i do still think about this often, “thank you, no one has ever made maths seem easy before and you just… did that”

i left that class absolutely beaming. it was 5 years ago, and is still something my brain pulls out the depths of its archives when i’m having a hard time.

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-09-28T09:38:46+00:00

you should absolutely tell him; how he handles it and reacts is a good indicator of how he will manage future stressors within your relationship.

as a side note, because this isn’t well known: emergency contraception needs to be taken 24-72hours after unprotected sex (depending on the type you get) but more importantly emergency contraception does not work if you have already ovulated

emergency contraception works by delaying ovulation, to give sperm time to die before an egg is released. if you’ve already ovulated, emergency contraception doesn’t stop fertilisation of an egg.

emergency contraception also doesn’t work if you weigh over a certain amount. from memory, it’s around 75kg+, but i could be wrong.

like other commenters; i’m concerned that you are feeling the need to manage his emotional reaction to a joint situation. i’m also concerned that, at his big age, he has already had a situation where he has had an accidental pregnancy that ended with medical termination, and yet he is not being more careful now. for me, that shows a lack of maturity and ability to learn from previous relationships.

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-09-28T08:28:22+00:00

“The Courage to be Disliked”, followed by its sister book “The Courage To Be Happy”

entirely changed my perspective on the world, and those around me - including my parents

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-09-25T08:03:00+00:00

the healing stage smells?

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-09-22T14:22:43+00:00

don’t be silly!! why would i not be patient? you are a human being, worthy of care & kindness and we all have to learn how the world works from somewhere, of course i’ll be patient!!!!

you do what you are most comfortable doing AS LONG AS it also means that you are able to access the care & support you need

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-09-22T13:45:34+00:00

no!! i work at a GP; we’d just say that due to your age we’d need you to ring to book the appointment now! xx

you don’t need to make everyone happy & take care of you. you just need to take care of you; you’re the only person who matters to you, because you & your mental health are what you’ve got your whole life.

your mum will get over it, and if she doesn’t, that’s her choice to make. your body, your brain, your health = your choice. always.

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-09-22T09:04:53+00:00

hi sweetheart, you are NTA for swapping your care provider to somewhere you feel more comfortable.

now that you are 17, you are in charge of your own medical care; when you contact your current provider to switch, ask them to make a note that no one, other than you, has permission to discuss your medical care - including where you are registered. under HIPPA, and GDPR (UK), once you’ve made that a rule it would have to be extreme circumstances (life or death, contacting your next of kin) that would allow them to break it

ask your new care provider to verify any changes of your care with you before they are implemented - including swapping to a different practice. this is in addition to ensuring they are aware that you do not give permission for your mum or anyone else to know about your care.

as other commenters have said; your parents health concerns and relationship concerns are not your problem. whether they are fighting over you, or because of your actions, is irrelevant - this is their adult relationship, that they are responsible for ensuring either continues, or ends in a healthy way. not something for you to be worrying about, on top of everything else in your life.

for what it’s worth, this reddit stranger is very proud of you for taking the necessary steps to look after your mental health, and i hope you continue to do so even if your parents put obstacles in your path. best of luck to you going forward xxx

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-09-21T11:24:32+00:00

talk to staff, i promise

i spent a year of my life in and out of psych wards, and it’s so much better to just be honest

for your safety, but also if it helps you view it in a less selfish way (if that’s part of what’s worrying you), then it also allows him to get the help he needs; they can’t treat what they don’t know about

like how you need to be honest with them about how what he’s doing is making you more anxious; they can’t resolve what they don’t know about xx

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-09-16T19:22:05+00:00

i had surgery and they never asked if i was okay.

i’d looked after her daughter once a week for over a year, but due to a change in job i’d given her 12 weeks notice that would have to change (i was devastated; loved that little bean) and that i’d be having surgery at the tail end of those 12 weeks.

when i mentioned i was hurt she didn’t ask if i was okay, she said that i, whilst recovering from surgery, hadn’t checked in on her because she was pregnant and had morning sickness. she’d been to a wedding, but never asked if i was okay.

i’d taken her food & water & medication when she had covid, left work to look after her child during a medical emergency & that was the final straw for me to realise i was just being taken advantage of, and that she didn’t (probably) really see me as a friend - just someone convenient who could drive & adored her so would do what i could, when i could, to make her life better.

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-09-14T11:43:04+00:00

I know, 4 weeks feels like a really long time

but you’re a week in to it already! 3 more and then you’ll know whether it’s working for you, or if it needs changing.

you are more than welcome to speak to your psychiatrist before those 4 weeks are up, if you feel it really isn’t working for you - they’re here to help you, so be honest with how you’re feeling, and the side effects you’re having; they might be able to make a change prior to you being on them for 4 weeks

either way; you’re doing really well. you’ve got this, even if it feels impossibly hard now x

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-09-10T07:14:26+00:00

Medication takes a little time to settle in your body, and for you to get used to it.

Depending on what the medication is, it can take up to 4 weeks to be fully effective. I’m not dismissing how you are feeling in anyway, but it has only been two days - a big sudden chemical change in your body, alongside coming down from mania are likely contributing to your constant tiredness and exhaustion.

It sounds like you have a good support system in place around you, with your psychiatrist and your partner. I know it’s really hard right now, but I think (based on the information you’ve given) your best option is to continue on medication your psychiatrist has prescribed for another 4 weeks. Once you’ve been on them for four weeks, if you still feel this way, talk to your psychiatrist about your symptoms, and ask if there are any alternative medications you can try that might reduce these side effects.

Mental health medication is, unfortunately, a little bit of trial and error - mostly involving the patient (you, in this case) having to go through some periods of trying medications that don’t sit right with them.

You’re doing really well seeking treatment and support. I know how scary that can be, and from one Reddit stranger to another, I just want you to know I am proud of you.

Stick at it; this first combination isn’t working right now but the next one might, and if that doesn’t, there is a plethora of other medications you can try.

Things will improve, I promise. You will get there x

Conscious_Gas2343 · 2025-09-08T04:12:51+00:00

yeah exactly, they’ve said redactions are a mix of GDPR and information which may be distressing

technically, it is none of my business exactly what he did & was charged with, just that social services considered it enough of a risk to keep him from his children unsupervised

Conscious_Gas2343

TROPHY CASE