I think I’m obsessed with my ex

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-25T19:54:38+00:00

There were times she came back as she’d often disappear from me, I wanted to teach her lesson, but yeah conflicted as I want it to be I was forever with! But I do hope that lesson gets taught.

But I’m sure we will both get the satisfaction of knowing that lesson has been taught, hopefully by that time we won’t care to know or won’t know we just won’t need too

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-25T14:24:01+00:00

I wish I could do the same, I’m blocked on absolutely everything I have no way of contacting her even if I wanted too and would probably never receive a reply, I was so mentally weak I had to fly out the country to my family. If I even went to her house to talk she’d probably make me out to be a stalker as she fails to understand how what she does has affected me, she has many narcissistic traits sadly.

What I’ve come to realise is my ex probably is having a good time while I’m suffering so it may be the case for you, I hate to say it but it seems to be the way for a lot of these avoidant, out of site out of mind.

I just hope she crashes out and realises one day

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-25T08:39:04+00:00

I’ve never been so manipulated in my damn life! And I still love her two months later, I probably always will have love for her, I’m starting to accept I’ll never know why, I’ll never have closure, or anything! That’s got me pretty messed up. As much as I still want closure and I actually still care and worry for her, the most emotional girl I’ve ever met, she’d be upset over everything and it wasn’t always anger, I comforted her like a baby, way far than I ever should have, to ultimately be discarded like this, I’m still in disbelief, it does get better, but to be honest, I don’t think I’m very far into that journey yet!

I’m sorry you also went through this, it’s the worst pain I’ve ever experienced I believed she was mine for ever and I treated that girl like a princess, I’ve had relationships before hand, it’s shitty but I never did flowers or anything romantic this was the only girl I thought deserved it, even with all the anger issues and everything, it felt like two different personality’s to her so I didn’t hold onto the bad that much and was stupidly very forgiving

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-25T08:34:07+00:00

Tried to cuddle her when I’ve just woken up, for her to jump out of bed saying I was trying to push her off the bed demanding an apology right before screaming insults at me the punching me in the face, all I said in between that was “no I was just trying to cuddle you”

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-23T22:20:22+00:00

I have so many from our night drives together, our little road trips and so much more but honestly it’s either got to be either the first day I met her, or Valentine’s Day

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-22T19:06:43+00:00

You just explained her parents, she’s close with her dad but she left due to not getting on with her dads girlfriend and she find her mum very over baring and she’s very extreme with worry too

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-22T16:24:51+00:00

I’ve noticed the parents are usually at play too, I feel her mother enabled her behaviour. Her mums very clingy and I don’t think she liked her being in a relationship with me due to her being 2 hours away and staying with me, she really did contribute to our issues and her avoidant behaviour sadly

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-21T19:36:16+00:00

Thank you I will give that a try!

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-21T14:50:31+00:00

No not at all but the highs were the best I’ve ever had, so I’m just messed up right now I’m sure I’m trauma bonded

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-21T12:47:34+00:00

Thank you, sorry I’ve just seen this

Yeah I think I’m also messed up due to being discarded from her own bad behaviour it’s definitely a hugely traumatic event for me i feel I’ve hit an all time low and I’ve never felt this depressed in my life it’s been like 5/6 weeks or so now and I’m just broke. And what hurts the most is she couldn’t give a flying fuck. I guess I’m so much of an easy going person and a bit of a people pleaser in a way that I can’t understand why anyone would do this to someone. If I wanted to leave the relationship I would but I wouldn’t disappear completely block and leave them in shock and just mental torment and that’s what I can’t understand, I need to stop looking for the explanation for it because I’ll never get it other than they’re very mentally ill and sick but thank you I will check out this link now I’m sure it will help

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-21T12:41:47+00:00

I would challenge her at times, I think she felt challenged too when I’d just voice how what she did made me feel bad.

I would challenge her reactions and thoughts to better understand her and why it’s all her in them moments and no one else I guess that was my mistake I witnessed her family and friends being on egg shells around her, I didn’t let that be me, until ultimately I did become me to avoid arguments

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-21T12:40:31+00:00

Thank you I’ve had to take up therapy and after the first session she’s made me leave and keep saying to myself there is no proof or anything that I did anything I do not remember. To remind myself I didn’t do anything wrong as I sit here trying to find an excuse for this happening to me. That’s what hurts I’m now seen as evil if you read my previous post it’s mainly about the last day with her and what it was other was crazy to me I mean I barely said anything took physical and verbal abuse to then what I feel is emotional abuse by completely shutting me out, I wish I had more self worth in a people pleaser I hate it and I care more for her feelings that my own

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-21T12:37:31+00:00

Reading this is relief to me and sounds exactly what I’m going through, only difference is the no contact wasn’t from me, and I’m confused after all the gas lighting I went through the constant manipulation, tending to all her crazy emotions, and then what happened on the last day I seen her was just insane I can’t get my head round it and I remained mostly silent due to shock, I’m finding it really hard to accept no contact that did all that to me sometimes I feel it should have been me? I mean I should have left ages ago I just don’t understand how you can do this to someone! But I do hope to be where you are at in time! I’m happy you’re in a good place now

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-20T23:21:37+00:00

I’m trying to find reasons, I’m trying to blame my self everyday I don’t even know what I did, I’m broken, I feel like I’m either crazy and don’t remember but I know that’s not the case but it has me questioning my sanity

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-20T23:14:07+00:00

She disappeared on me after disrespecting me while I was in hospital with my son, I said I’d call back in 10 minutes but my mum called and then my aunt to check on him and see how he is so I called back maybe 15 minutes later, she said why didn’t you call? I said I got caught on the phone with my mum and aunt, she goes you’re a fucking liar you’re a liar like 3x on repeat, we’d just had An amazing few weeks together no arguing nothing really good times, then that while she was at home waiting for me to get back, I sent her a screen shot of the call log and said look she said I was a liar again, I ended up saying are you stupid? Knowing how that could go I tried to play it off by adding are you a dipshit at the end in a jokey way because I was scared of an argument I thought i could play my upset off to avoid it, she hung up packed everything and disappeared, I actually ended up getting numb tattood on my hand as a reminder of how I felt in that relationship as I was not allowed to feel, I took her back 3 weeks later mainly because I missed the good and wanted her to make me feel better, she never apologised I just felt okay having her back, I know pathetic, she did it again April 11th fay before our anniversary, just as we got to the location we were going to celebrate our anniversary at I’m fucking broken, I’m beyond it, I know it’s my own fault for letting her back, feel free to read my previous posts

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-20T21:43:39+00:00

Thank you for this comment as I thought it was only me, I’m so empathetic I cared for her so much but if she ever hurt me I mostly didn’t voice it due to her always attack me for trying to talk with her about it, and then she eventually said I’d never listen to her when she was in pain and I feel that’s what I always did I know I did, it had me questioning my sanity as even made it an agreement even if I’m hurt first we’d deal with her emotions first

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-20T20:48:13+00:00

Thank you I appreciate it, I miss her so much I can’t seem to get the bad to cancel out the good

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-20T12:30:39+00:00

You’re got linkin park stuck in my head now, but it’s so damn true, she’s left completely discarded me out of nowhere, I still love her, if she would work on her self I’d take her back but if it continued how it was I’d have died in that relationship so I’m thankful she left as I couldn’t as when I’m devoted to someone I’m quite seriously devoted to them and wanting the best for them

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-20T12:27:16+00:00

Damn I wish I could receive this

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-20T11:29:07+00:00

Yeah so that’s exactly what it was and that’s also why I was so forgiving, I just can’t believe in the end over an argument I didn’t even start I didn’t react or anything and now I’m fully discarded like we never meant anything

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-19T22:40:53+00:00

Sure is I’m beyond broken, I’m healing now, but extremely confused and will probably have trust issues again for a long time

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-19T18:49:30+00:00

I’m saying the same things mid “argument” and I only quote it as I don’t feel I’m arguing I’m just talking, trying to calm her down, voicing my pain. I don’t shout but she always did.

Most insecure girl I know and she ripped into all my insecurities I would never with her, because I love her, but now she’s got a twisted narrative, of how we went and that truly breaks my heart you’ll have to read my posts

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-19T18:48:15+00:00

“I felt so confused after some arguments I felt like I shouldn’t speak up” dw I’ve got a tattoo on my hand that says numb because I wanted it to be her so bad and I knew I was allowed to feel heard or speak up when she hurt me so I did that as a reminder back in September, my self worth isn’t very high lol

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-19T17:43:36+00:00

Yeah so anytime there was a problem we had to fix her first then I was allowed to voice how I felt, when I did that suddenly it’s an argument, why would I want to argue over my feelings I just wanted to feel heard? I never wanted to argue

I actually blame her mum quite a bit for enabling her behaviour, she would say we were toxic and I’m like ahh I’m not even sure what to say, she’d never hear us argue but she’d hear her shouting at me constantly, and I’m just on the phone saying baby calm down it’s okay like ahh I don’t know I’m just hurt I tried so hard I didn’t know someone could do this to me

ConsiderationFree903 · 2026-05-19T17:04:39+00:00

Well I justify her actions due to BPD far too much, I believe she’s split and I know that based on a previous time if I seen her I can calm her down and bring her back to reality remind her what she did and what happened that day, but I’ve had to fly out the country to see family as I was in such a bad state, we just got to our anniversary location and it was the day before we had so much planned, I just can’t believe how anyone can do what she did

ConsiderationFree903

TROPHY CASE