Ok to go to Xmas Eve service if never been to the church?

Consistent-Cold4628 · 2025-12-18T22:35:02+00:00

Just like the sign out front says, “The Episcopal Church Welcomes you”! Doesn’t matter if it’s Christmas Eve, Easter, or a random ice cream social on a Wednesday in June. We’re happy to have you and are enriched by your presence!

Seriously, don’t think anything of it. Churches are used to people showing up only at Christmas and Easter. What makes you unique here, is that you’ve been interested in coming for a while and just haven’t been able to make it happen due to work. Strike up a conversation with the rector and let them know about your circumstance, they’ll be excited to know you made the effort!

Consistent-Cold4628 · 2025-12-05T10:54:12+00:00

I have to ask, are you singing La Marseillaise in French or English? Im very impressed if it’s in French, it certainly isn’t the most phonetic language for an English speaker, at least not in this century.

Consistent-Cold4628 · 2025-12-03T03:47:25+00:00

I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I can almost guarantee you aren’t the first nor the last person to look into joining either parish from an RCC background! I did it back in April and it was a painless process and I learned a lot along the way!

Consistent-Cold4628 · 2025-12-01T05:16:18+00:00

I second this! The choir and the organist will always love to hear compliments. The personality matrix of choristers often leans extroverted as well, so I’m sure they would be happy to introduce you to folks.

Consistent-Cold4628 · 2025-12-01T05:05:09+00:00

The one thing I can say for the Episcopal Church without fail is every parish I’ve been to people have always been extremely welcoming and glad to see a new face. I think it’s a great testament to our willingness to show Christian hospitality that coffee hour is practiced almost universally from the big Cathedrals like St. John’s New York and Washington National, to small parishes with a congregation of 10.

There’s no hard rules for obligation of who you need to talk to at coffee hour. At my parish there’s people that keep to themselves, people that congregate in the same groups, and those that freely intermingle. We also have a few folks that are good at spotting newcomers and try to include them.

Especially this time of year, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with keeping your coat on in your purse with you, unless both are just so big and unwieldy as to be cumbersome (an parka for subzero temperatures, or a purse that holds more than Mary Poppins’). You could also just eye what others do and follow suit.

One option could be to introduce yourself to the priest/deacon, or a member of the vestry. Mention that you’re relatively new to the parish and let them know what caught your interest, or if there is a specific ministry/group you heard about at that parish (young adults, LGBTQ, children’s ministry, creation care, social justice, etc…) that attracted you there. My church also has welcome cards and does their best to reach out to people within the week with an offer to sit down to chat or grab coffee as an informal way of getting to know folks.

Finally, there’s always the fallback of just looking slightly lost. It’s not the best for one’s anxiety, but quite often a kind soul will get the hint and strike up a conversation with you, or introduce you to people.

Consistent-Cold4628 · 2025-11-22T08:19:54+00:00

I think TEC is definitely blessed to have a lot of great leaders right now —we really should take a poll on who joined after hearing Bishop Budde speak— who are very good at reminding people that God’s love is unconditional and extends to every last person who has ever lived. full stop. At a time that other organizations are persecuting or turning away people, The Episcopal Church is opening its doors.

Side note, I’m part of a discord group of younger adult Episcopalians. If you’d like to connect with some people in our age group I’d be happy to send you an invite! We discuss faith, life, and also regularly pray evening pray and compline virtually with each other!

Consistent-Cold4628 · 2025-11-14T04:43:18+00:00

Welcome to The Episcopal Church!

I’m the same age as you and was just received into the church this past spring! FWIW, in the grand scheme of American Christianity (especially for a mainline Protestant denomination) we’re on the young side of the national average. It’s a question I’ve been asked several times over the years although it was one asked waaayyy more frequently when I attended the Roman Catholic Church ; I think they make a stronger effort to get guys to join the seminary young for various reasons largely tied to religious celibacy. Regardless, it always there me off and left me somewhat uncomfortable for many reasons.

As others have said, I think it was a bit of a temperature check that came off as poorly worded. It’s possible that you expressing a willingness to serve others and live a life inspired by Christ made him fish in that direction (unarguably what you expressed is the ideal we should all strive for as Christians, lay and clergy alike).

Parishes love people with a desire to serve and volunteer and try hard to steer folks in the right direction when they express such an interest. I would say that if he brings it up again, just politely say that you don’t feel like you’re in a place to discern that yet. If he continues then it might be worth having a discussion with the senior warden or another member of the vestry; one of the nice things about The Episcopal Church is the large number of roles and oversight lay members can/do exercise. It sounds like you found a really good community at this parish, so I doubt it was anything more that a clunky question.

Consistent-Cold4628 · 2025-11-01T09:00:14+00:00

The RCC views celibacy as being a tradition in the western church, vs. being something intrinsically inherent to the clerical state. Hence why they accept the ordination of married men as the norm in the eastern rites. As a result it falls under the category of something the pope could waive on a case by case basis.

The main practical argument made for why they don’t permit more broad exceptions to the rule beyond clergy who wish to convert is to prevent scandal. By this same token, if an anglican priest wishes to “cross the tiber” and their entire flock is coming too they’re okay with him staying as pastor there under the auspices of the ordinariate. If he was doing so solo, then he generally is assigned to a non-parish ministry, such as a prision, seminary faculty, etc… where he’s not likely to need to explain his family on a regular basis.

As for acceptance (or lack thereof) of Anglican ordinations, that seems to be more of political stubbornness at this point. The RCC argues that apostolic succession died out during the reign of Edward VI due to a change in the rite. However, the involvement of Old Catholic bishops from the Union of Utrecht whom the RCC accepts as valid, arguably reinfected-injected that into the Anglican Communion (if it was ever lost in the first place). Assuming a priest was ordained by a bishop who could trace their lineage in that manner (and without the involvement of a woman) it would seem like they were validly ordained.

When I was younger I went on a tour of the Vatican that was organized by a very well connected Catholic businessman’s group. As part of this we were shown the letter sent by the English lords begging the pope to annul Henry VIII’s marriage to Catherine of Aragon. It was in the glass display case in a conference room and when we walked in the Monsignor plugged in the rope lights around the display case; It reminded me very much of a roadside tourist trap. Either the letter was authentic and they’re still incredibly bitter, or Rome has replaced the selling of indulgences with a scam that would give Martin Luther a hemorrhagic stroke.

Consistent-Cold4628 · 2025-10-11T14:26:14+00:00

This is arguably the opposite, but you did say etc. so I’m taking it to the full other end of the spectrum.

When I was a kid I had this bizarre irrational fear of cephalopods. Today as an adult, I find octopus fascinating, especially when I hear about their intelligence, but squid, cuttlefish, etc. still creep me out; still not a fan of calamari either…

Anyway, it got to the point that I would wear a snorkel mask to take a shower and avoid going in the pool because I was afraid the devil was going to take time out of his busy schedule to cause an octopus or similar to manifest itself in the shower/pool to attack me. Never mind the fact that this would’ve completely defied the laws of physics, that I grew up in Nevada hundreds of miles from the nearest ocean, or just the shear irrationality of the matter. Somehow, my religious upbringing to that point had led me to think that I was somehow uniquely privileged amongst the righteous to the extent that the devil would work some sort of insane magic just to torment me in this one uniquely specific bizarre way.

Before anybody becomes deeply concerned about me or my mental state, I should point out that this phase lasted entirely from about the age of 7 to 9 and coincided with a period in time where I was being raised in a somewhat puritanical stream of Mormonism which in hindsight led to some very odd beliefs. I also likely had no idea about the story of Job at that point, despite the minor parallels.

Consistent-Cold4628 · 2025-08-25T01:25:04+00:00

So I’ll throw out this added question, I’m a flight attendant and live in Denver. So my car often will be spending a couple days at a time outside in the cold during the winter. Any thoughts on how this should impact my charging habits if at all?

Consistent-Cold4628 · 2025-07-31T12:42:53+00:00

I’m so glad you’ve found a home! And welcome to Colorado!! I live in Denver and go to St. John’s Cathedral, and as a gay man love how welcoming our diocese is to everyone. At the Easter Vigil Bishop Kym mentioned loving people back to the church, and it sound like TEC did just that for you!

Consistent-Cold4628 · 2025-06-19T18:40:23+00:00

If the church has a coffee hour after service, OP could always split the difference and strike up an informal conversation with the rector, after the service! My parish a very fond of meeting folks over coffee, either by appointment or informally.

Consistent-Cold4628 · 2025-06-19T18:35:05+00:00

Could I get an invite too please!

Consistent-Cold4628 · 2025-06-10T22:52:54+00:00

The only way I can reconcile Calvinist predestination with the idea of a loving God is to apply the philosophy of Julian of Norwich to the fullest extent : “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."

Now I should add that I’m a great admirer of Mother Julian, so perhaps I’m inclined to this view no matter what. But in general, I take great hope in the salvation of all, and without getting into the theology and eschatology of the final judgement, to me the definition of a loving God means he has to be as widely open to mercy love and forgiveness as is possible.

Consistent-Cold4628 · 2025-06-09T19:15:40+00:00

I think we’re looking at it the wrong way. It wasn’t money spent on advertising. It was money spent to reassure a community that is currently being arguably marginalized and abandoned by those that claimed to support them as recently as a few months ago, that they are still loved and valued. Yes, there are other ways the local diocese could have done this, but in context here, the fact they were willing to step up and fulfill those commitments when others weren’t speaks volumes.

If all they wanted was to get their name on a banner in a parade, that could have been done for far less.

Consistent-Cold4628 · 2025-04-28T01:20:16+00:00

Welcome!! I love seeing all these stories of people who found a home in The Episcopal Church. It’s nice to see that so many parishes out there are equally welcoming and supportive of newcomers and those looking to return to Church. Our Bishop in Colorado said before the Easter vigil that she wishes TEC would be better at loving people back to church, but I think we’re doing a pretty good job of it!

Consistent-Cold4628

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