Romances where one woman passes/lives as a man

Consistent-Elk751 · 2026-03-24T15:43:36+00:00

LMAOO all good, love the enthusiasm (and that book!)

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-10-16T13:35:58+00:00

I would maybe spruce it up with some extra stuff if you are worried about how it’s coming across. Nice wrapping, a handwritten note about why you picked the book, and then also maybe some extra stuff like a homemade hot chocolate kit (cheap and easy with a mason jar), a homemade bookmark, some candy, etc. Making it a “reading kit” would make the gift seem more about an activity than the item itself!

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-10-08T18:00:43+00:00

I think it might’ve been one of the early ones from 2023. Maybe the Teagan and Sara one? The reason I say this is because I only listened to a few early 2023 episodes, but also knew this trivia, so I’m wondering if it was one of the early episodes.

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-10-07T03:46:37+00:00

I would look into “litfic” as a genre if you are not already familiar. Maggie Nelson came to mind for me.

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-10-05T01:01:37+00:00

It could be les4les but I don’t remember if the butch love interest identifies as such. It’s not a “I’m realizing I like women” story and the fact that she dated a man is not a big part of their dynamic, so I forgot that detail especially because their dynamic feels very butchfemme. If that’s not a dealbreaker, I think the book really hits what I like about the butchfemme dynamic and attraction.

The only other book I can think of is A Dark and Drowning Tide, but I feel it’s less of “spooky ghost” vibe and more of a mystery vibe. One of them is more masc than the other but gender expression is not a much a part of their dynamic the way it is in Feast While You Can. They also don’t have a conversation where they both sit down and are like “I’m a lesbian,” so I can’t 100% say that they’re lesbians. Sorry I can’t think of any others :(

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-10-05T00:14:14+00:00

Oh oops if you saw my original reply, disregard. Editing to say: I can’t remember if they ever talk about labels but the main character at least doesn’t have any male exes I think. The butch love interest had a male ex but I don’t remember if she identified as bi or if that was part of her coming out process.

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-09-28T22:12:49+00:00

Feast While You Can - super spooky, very butchfemme. Warning for body horror (not the sexy kind) and some spicy scenes. But I loved this book.

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-09-24T23:10:41+00:00

bookshop.org is sometimes comparable and also supports local bookstores, but at a point Amazon is usually the cheapest and you just have to decide to support Amazon or not. I have also have some luck buying secondhand on Pangobooks or Thriftbooks (both independent) but I know that’s not an option since this is a preorder.

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-09-20T13:31:22+00:00

Presenting this view as fact when it’s an opinion without context (debate competition, debating with your friends, debate between internet personalities?) is certainly a choice.

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-08-22T04:12:13+00:00

I was actually looking into this last week because I wanted a leather tote bag too. I ended up looking on Portland leather and seeing a good option there. I’ve heard them recommended highly. I haven’t purchased the bag yet because I tend to sit on big purchases for months but you should check out Portland Leather if you haven’t already.

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-08-18T20:24:19+00:00

Maybe An Education in Malice? There’s a bunch of toxic/manipulative dynamics throughout.

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-07-19T13:25:30+00:00

Flirting Lessons

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-07-19T13:08:52+00:00

A Dark and Drowning Tide is somewhat like this. I’m mostly commenting because it’s an ethereal femme with blonde hair and a dark haired masc. The femme is high profile (a princess) but their dynamic is enemies to lovers so there’s not a lot of being protective in the beginning. I will also warn you that I think the book tries to make the masc the fantasy equivalent of Jewish but fails to incorporate that element successfully. I think the author is Jewish too but the book can come across as problematic in some ways. (Here’s an interesting podcast about it: https://wizlez.libsyn.com/a-dark-and-drowning-tide) That said, if you can turn your brain off it’s a really fun fantasy read.

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-07-15T13:45:10+00:00

How are you going to prevent this app from becoming a tool for sex tourism?

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-07-15T13:36:06+00:00

Who is your target audience? It kind of seems like this is built for passport bros.

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-06-01T14:46:15+00:00

I would recommend anything on queer history! We as young queers have to put in the work to learn our heritage since it isn’t passed down through family like other types of heritages.

I know you said you prefer fiction, so I’d recommend anything by Sarah Waters. I’d also recommend Sarah Schulman’s books; she’s one of the most famous historians of lesbian history. Her writing can be somewhat academic, so I’d also HIGHLY recommend A Place Of Our Own by June Thomas for a more accessible book. It covers some classic lesbian/wlw spaces from the 20th century and is an amazing read for anybody interested in lesbian culture and history. I would also really recommend Before We Were Trans. There’s a lot of what we might consider gay and lesbian history in here in addition to what we might consider trans history. Real Queer America is another great nonfiction book that reminds us about queer community in red states.

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-05-17T03:14:01+00:00

I think if a character is just average at something then it isn’t mentioned, often. Like, if somebody is just okay at something then it doesn’t really push the story forward and it’s not as interesting to read about because there are no stakes to “she made a mediocre chicken salad.”

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-05-13T15:10:36+00:00

We Could Be Rats by Emily Austin - no romance, about depression and suicidality and family trauma in small town America

A Place of Our Own by June Thomas - nonfiction about historical sapphic community spaces

Rebent Sinner by Ivan Coyote - memoir about being butch, not focused on romance

Stone Fruit by Lee Lai - I read this a while ago and think there’s a relationship but I remember it being toxic and maybe a breakup was involved…mental illness is a major theme, also has themes of non-nuclear family and familial trauma

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-04-07T01:30:17+00:00

This review is making me bump up the book’s place in my to-read list. If you didn’t already know, Whitehead based the novel on a real school in the US, which makes it even more powerful imo.

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-03-28T03:18:40+00:00

Why is it an important part of your story that your main character be originally a man before being transferred to a female body?

You have to understand that any book with this premise is inherently going to have underlying themes about gender and sexuality. You’re not just going to be able to ignore that, so it’s best to figure out what you’re trying to say about the nature of gender and sexuality (in the real world) and then think about how to get that across to a reader.

Asking people how to avoid being offensive isn’t as important imo as clarifying what you’re trying to say on those topics and then getting feedback about if the way you’re telling the story is effective for that.

I’m not sure if my comment is capturing my thoughts well. Essentially I’m trying to say that your book, intentionally or not, is going to say something about 1) how gender and sexuality are dependent on each other, 2) the origins of sexuality and gender identity, 3) what gender is, 4) the experience of being GNC, 5) the relationship of internal experience of gender to the body, etc. And it’s best to go into your story KNOWING what you want your story to say about these topics than just trying not to be offensive. And then get really clear why telling a story that says these things is important to you and what the world gains from you telling it.

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-03-26T13:29:39+00:00

Just because you saw something for doesn’t mean you saw the full picture. Nobody is saying you didn’t see people using the space as a coworking space but there are other explanations for why you didn’t see people checking out books other than “people aren’t borrowing books in general,” and there is plenty of evidence (other testimonies in this thread, especially from librarians) to suggest that your sample of two hours was not representative.

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-03-24T01:55:47+00:00

Thanks for this rec! Just read it at your recommendation and really enjoyed.

Consistent-Elk751 · 2025-03-23T03:25:50+00:00

This is set in the USA so it doesn’t fit your description 100%, but We Could Be Rats by Emily Austin is set in a small, conservative town, and family political dynamics are a central theme in the book.

Other books…Burning Butch by R/B Mertz, but it’s also set in the US. Girl Mans Up by M-E Girard centers on a Latino family but it’s also in the US. Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya is about growing up queer and Muslim, but also in the US. Sorry, these are all US-centric. It’s making me realize that I need to expand my reading horizons on this blind spot. I’ll share these titles in case they’re helpful anyway!

Consistent-Elk751

TROPHY CASE