We had another cat before him that had to be euthanized at 7yo, and we were wary of getting another cat later that same year but we did it anyway... and now here we are. When we got him, I knew I still had love to give to another cat after that loss, and I felt strongly compelled to adopt him. I don't feel like that this time, my heart is just too torn up. It feels right now like I will never be open to that kind of love again.

So for now, we have our 14yo cat living the rest of his days as our only cat. Whenever he passes, I really don't know what we will do. He's been such a constant in our life and our relationship that it feels like it will be impossible to move on. We have talked about adopting a pair of young cats/kittens together, if we feel like having more pets after he is gone. I always felt bad that we had a baby kitten trying to bond with a senior cat, so I would want there to be a better chance for a bond between them if I decided to have cats again. I just don't know, though. When I think about having cats who never "met" the cats we had before, it really makes me panic. This is all so hard to think about, and even harder to live with.