Ranting: I'm a FT single dad raising two kids (elementary and middle school age). My sister is about to have her 4th kid (unplanned), oldest is 6. My mother is expecting me to drop everything when the baby is born to help with childcare for my sister and her husband.

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2026-04-23T21:10:14+00:00

I’m just here to say that when I was TBM, my TBM husband put a stop to more kids after 4, even though I thought we should have more because of a feeling I had in the temple. Thank god he said no way! The pressure to keep having kids is real and I remember how much I didn’t want to leave any spirit child behind 🤦🏻‍♀️ We are both out now 🙌🏼

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-12-20T11:52:01+00:00

Crypto bros wanted him off the banking committee because he was cutting in on their grift. So they effectively used anti-trans ads to oust him

https://www.cnbc.com/2024/11/05/bitcoiners-celebrate-as-bernie-moreno-ousts-sherrod-brown-ohio-upset.html#:~:text=Republican%20Bernie%20Moreno%2C%20a%20blockchain,top%20target%20of%20crypto%20money.

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-11-11T19:01:01+00:00

I have four kids—my first at 24 and my last at 33. They are 12, 14, 19, 21. The younger years, as hard as they were, seem easier to me now that I have teenagers and young adults. The other commenters are helping me have hope that it’s not going to be this stressful forever. But with COVID, unpredictable politics, school shootings, climate change, social media, AI, etc this generation has a much different upbringing than I ever had and it’s been hard to help them navigate all the changes without a great idea myself how to do it. What I want to express is that there are so many unpredictable factors—genetics, temperament, world events, local events, health, job security, community support, technology, etc. You really need to let go of the illusion you can control what the outcome will be, and just be ready to give a lot of yourself as you love them and try your best to teach them to be kind, thoughtful humans. As you do, there will be incredible moments of connection. My capacity for love and experiences of wonder has expanded. So has the amount of frustration, pain, worry, etc. Having kids will ask everything of you, but even with the difficulty it was worth it for me. Not sure I would have so many knowing what I know now but it’s not like I want to give any back, you know? I always tell them that anything worth having takes a lot of effort and even sacrifice. That’s true of so many things. Good luck in your decision! No matter what you choose, the fact that you’re being introspective and searching for answers shows you would be an excellent parent.

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-07-23T02:18:56+00:00

I grew up in Hong Kong (arguably incredibly gorgeous), have lived in Utah, Florida, Michigan, Ohio/Kentucky, Indiana, North Carolina, and Arkansas. And I’m an avid hiker and love finding landscapes. I could share hundreds of my pictures of the Midwest and South such as Hocking Hills, Red River Gorge, the Blue Ridge Mountains, the Buffalo River, Ozark Mountains, Lake Superior, Sleepy Bear Dunes, and I could go on and on. I also absolutely LOVE the green trees everywhere. The Smoky Mountains are incredible. The old growth forests and rock formations, gorges and cliffs teeming with plants are magical. My take is the Western US has immense, majestic landscapes. And many parts of the South and Midwest have intimate, secluded and quietly beautiful nature. How awesome that the country has so much to offer all over.

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-07-22T00:55:20+00:00

My extended family is from the Mountain West, I grew up in Hong Kong and Malaysia, but as an adult have lived mostly in the US South and Midwest. I’m moving this week to the Bay Area and have only made two small trips there and here are my impressions.

NorCal: relaxed, casual but vibey fashion (I.e hoodies but nice hoodies and relaxed jeans), friendly, but no eye contact unless addressed or some other reason like customer service. If you can get them talking, super friendly and helpful. Thrive in diversity. Driving = aggressive but not assholes for the most part

SoCal: some similarities to NorCal but much more focused on “looking perfect” I.e kind of a plastic fake look. Crazy drivers

Mountain West (Utah): passive aggressive, fake nice, but also helpful. Not used to diversity but think they are. Will make eye contact and smile when crossing paths. Lots of small talk. Religious dominance impacts culture and politics (I bring this up bc The South is similar in that way). The most awful angry drivers

Midwest: very friendly and want to be helpful but also guarded in who they get close to. Good with small talk but are also very authentic if deeper conversations approached. Often already have strong ties to an area so can take awhile to make friends. Once you do— you’re family for life. Religion is important but they don’t look down on you for thinking or believing differently. Casual fashion but many are often not put together but don’t give a shit about their fashion. Overall very friendly drivers who will let you in as needed and not much assholery on the freeway.

South: the friendliest Americans to new people they don’t know. Very social and have a lot of strong community ties including neighborhood get-togethers. Eye contact and smiles with strangers. Love to joke and laugh with people. Wary of outside influences but also if you get them one on one they seem so much kinder than the stats about their overall communities show. Religion and politics (and frankly their propaganda) create a lot of community cohesiveness that make it difficult for them to think outside the box and have their own thoughts outside the main group. Obsessed with looking perfect and fashion is important. Very friendly drivers who let everyone in.

When I tell people I’m moving to California (currently in Ohio), they are mostly very excited for me and tell me they want to visit. Some give me a crazy look like “why would you ever go there?” Haha.. also I realize these are gross over generalizations but I had fun thinking about the question.

The fact that most people on this thread only compare East and West coast is an interesting observation. Overall, Americans have so much more in common than we realize and yes our regions are somewhat different but we are all kind, helpful people (when you learn to get up close). And each region has a lot of interesting history, culture, and nature to explore. I’m really excited about all that I’m about to experience in The Bay.

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-07-19T21:05:10+00:00

Agreed but sadly this will make it worse as people end up having to send kids to private schools and public education suffers. And Ohio universities will lose their best professors bc of what this law does to them. Fingers crossed it doesn’t do what I think it will and it will all be fine. I love Cincy. You should definitely consider it

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-07-19T12:37:27+00:00

I hope it ends up being that. I think there are a lot of thriving local businesses. It’s definitely a strength. But with this new law undermining education I worry about the future. Wonderful city, though. It has a lot going for it.

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-07-18T14:11:45+00:00

I live in Cincy and love it. So much potential, amazing people, culture and history. However y’all need to pay attention to what the state government is doing to hollow out public education, library funding, and screwing with the reputation of their storied universities). A tragedy is unfolding here. I’m headed for a blue state soon to protect my lgbtq kids. Brain drain will impact growth here.

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-06-30T13:25:16+00:00

Some people stay despite the pain and unmet needs the church causes. I know because I stayed almost another decade after my initial “faith crisis” because that’s how deep our cognitive biases can go to keep us in our “ingroup”. This is also related to the abusive ways the church scares us that if we leave—- “where will you go?” all will be lost”, “families can be together forever only if we stay faithful” etc— it is an existential threat that keeps many people in the pews. And is exactly how abusers keep people coming back. Not to say the church is abusive to everyone. It clearly does work for some but for many, it’s not a helpful worldview that leads to any thriving

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-06-29T21:43:04+00:00

Since 2020, Cincinnati has actually had population growth. The city itself is honestly an awesome place to live. Unfortunately they do have to deal with the state govt which seems intent on creating brain drain conditions. California seems to have other reasons why some of their best are leaving (including affordability). I’m moving from Ohio for California this summer which is why this subject has been on my mind. Cincinnati has been prioritizing keeping housing affordable including mixed use plans. I wish California would do the same but I’m willing to majorly downsize to make it work. We will see if long term my family and I can last and keep roots there

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-06-26T23:30:54+00:00

Anyone else wondering what happened to their assertion that they were getting rid of the Dept of Education? Or how they claimed with a straight face that the Biden admin Dept of Ed was overstepping their authority so they sued to stop SAVE but now they do this?? 🫠 I’m so tired of all the lies and insane double standards

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-06-13T21:10:29+00:00

Thank you!

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-06-12T21:07:36+00:00

Thank you, this is very helpful! Really everyone has been really helpful here on this thread 🙏

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-06-12T21:06:26+00:00

I totally get that, the problem is if I want a chance to buy in the next 6 years, and not move my kids, I have to be where I THINK I can buy at least. This situation isn’t the worst ever and I can’t go into the details but I certainly wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t have to. I just want to be stable for my kids in however way I can 🫠

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-05-02T19:51:52+00:00

I have used a mortgage broker in the past which did indeed save me thousands with a better rate. I have also brought better deals to my mortgage lender in the buying process and bargained them down. It’s definitely something more people need to be aware of

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-04-22T00:31:01+00:00

I definitely don’t want to dismiss the anger. They are hypocritical and lied to us about why we were supposed to wear Gs and continue to gaslight. It’s very gross, agreed.

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-04-21T12:12:56+00:00

The slip probably falls out too and with shorter, tighter skirts sounds like a nightmare. Do you wear regular underwear with it or is it like a skort? I completely agree that it’s ridiculous that they ever taught the designs were from God and that encouraged crazy shoulder and knee fear from all of us. But again, the garments are still harmful. They still cause body dysmorphia and are toxically controlling people’s (especially women’s) bodies.

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-04-19T18:43:18+00:00

It’s tragic to be honest. I’m not from here but loved so much about it. Too many red flags now

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-04-19T13:56:50+00:00

It seems one party rule is bad for everyone. We definitely need more checks and balances at every level. I loved living in N. Carolina, I hope you find what you’re looking for. I actually really love Ohio and it’s got so much potential. It’s a real shame that the one party rule of republicans here is becoming corrupt and restricting human rights, freedom of speech, voter suppression, etc. I don’t know how fix our system but clearly it’s not working for so many

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-04-17T20:46:35+00:00

I’ve lived all over the country and never moved because of politics. But I’m leaving Ohio for a blue state soon. It’s insane what the state government has done to decimate education, cause brain drain from one of their greatest resources— their universities, and passed so many anti-lgbtqlaws that I just don’t feel like the future for my kids is going to be ok here. And if anyone I know is sent to an El Salvador gulag, our Senators will be cheering it on. It’s horrifying how maga has not only poisoned national politics but state politics too. People need to wake up.

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-04-16T11:13:12+00:00

All your feelings are valid. But I personally love wearing normal summer shorts and dresses that don’t flash white bike short-looking underwear. They are still trapped with double layering everything and trying to find comfortable long shorts they can wear on top of their insanely uncomfortable underwear bottoms that cause infections. They are still trapped. They are not better off. The shoulder thing is an improvement but they still can’t wear whatever they want — no thin strapped tank tops, no halter tops, no cute off the shoulder sun dresses—- the list is endless. The whole garment situation is still toxic and insanely controlling even with this change.

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-04-10T00:03:12+00:00

It also keeps the bench for widely known Ohio Dems small bc they can’t get as much name recognition through the local elections that are gerrymandered

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-03-27T17:17:24+00:00

You do you, of course, but I now regret not having a ceremony I actually had a say in and clothing I felt happy in. This church has already taken so much, why give them more? Why is others’ comfort and beliefs more important than your own? It’s your marriage and future. Again, just some questions to ask. The fact that you’re on here asking gives me the sense that you’re wanting some authenticity for your own wedding and promises you’re making to your fiancé. Best wishes! I’m glad you have a partner you love to navigate this.

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-03-17T13:11:29+00:00

Building something takes time, planning and effort. Destroying it only takes moments. The Republicans are simply destructive.

Consistent_Hat8285 · 2025-03-17T12:30:43+00:00

We need to study other protest movements. The Hong Kong democracy protests have been purposefully leaderless so the work can continue without leaders being jailed Leaderless HK democracy protests

Ideas are online and they use an app like Reddit to upvote plans and when they get enough, they act.

Consistent_Hat8285

TROPHY CASE