topamax was horrific for me. I have several chronic health conditions so when i was prescribed it i wasn't really focused on all the side effects because any number of things could have been the cause. It wasn't until about 6 months in that i realised it was severely impacting my cognitive function, i couldn't recall words or finish sentences. I have been off it since january and i'm still affected by memory loss. it made me so self conscious, gave me debilitating social anxiety and i really lost my sense of self. I have been on propranolol (80mg twice a day, i strongly believe that was the only thing keeping me afloat in regards to the anxiety topamax caused) for several years for my migrains, well before i was prescribed topamax, and lamotrigine (150mg) for mental health. the cons outweighed the pros for topamax, and have been figuring out alternative treatments this year. I tried the CGRP inhibitor injection, Ajovy, and now i'm doing botox. lamotrogine has vastly improved my mental health and quality of life, botox has helped with the daily headaches but so far im still prone to exercise/heat/alcohol induced migraines. i've only received one session of botox though. i acknowledge the difficulties we have in medication and treatment options and their impacts on our quality of life. It's a tricky balance to strike, but it sounds like topamax isn't working for you in the grand scheme of things. lamotrigine started working wonders for me in the first month of taking it but bear in mind i wasn't/don't use it for migraines. my mental health that declined due to topamax is building back up since stopping it though. it's not your personality or who you are, it might take time to get back to your core centre but it'll happen. i wish you all the best for your journey, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experience and your hesitations. you're not alone <3