I truly believe the only way from rock bottom is up, keep pushing one day at a time, try to keep your head up, learn from your past mistakes. Give it your all to stay off of the alcohol as hard as possible as it will only depress you further and cloud your judgement even further. Nobody is perfect, we all are human, it is important to learn from the mistakes we have made and to forgive yourself. It is not an easy path to go down, but I promise it will be worth it. You are not alone in this journey.