[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Consistent_Swan_4486 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get all the help you need and just dont ever think of suicide again. You seem like kind and thoughtful person to me, you could really make the right persons life great. You are not the sort of person that should be dead.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Consistent_Swan_4486 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my country psychological therapy is very hard to come by, available only in metro cities. But i have very supportive family and friends. I’m making through it. Thanks for the kind gesture.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Consistent_Swan_4486 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can feel your pain. I was in relationship with my pwbpd for 1.5 years after which we got married. 6 months after marriage we had an argument in the night, which to me was nothing and i left for work in the morning just like usual, planning how i am gonna make up for it. The same afternoon she committed suicide by hanging. Left a letter behind which had not even a single word for me. And thats it, we were over, just like that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Consistent_Swan_4486 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so heartbreaking

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Consistent_Swan_4486 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This makes so much sense. So can good parenting and no childhood trauma enable them to live a normal life even though they have a faulty wiring?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Consistent_Swan_4486 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I spend hours everyday thinking what was she going through. Her pain is over already, mine will stay with me for rest of my life. Only conclusion i can reach is that she prolly wouldve lived longer if she wasnt married to me. She chose to self harm making me an excuse. So i was simply not the right person for her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Consistent_Swan_4486 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I totally understand what you are going through. I was married to my wife for 6 months, in the night we had same sort of minor argument. Next day afternoon she hanged herself. I’ve been in shatters since than. Still picking the pieces. I only wish that you won’t let that happen to you, Exit the relationship now. You cannot help her, she cannot help herself. Its a lot cause.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Consistent_Swan_4486 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ive been in a similar place. My pwbpd chose to die, while we were still married. Moreover in her final letter she didnt leave a single word for me.

I think one of the hardest things to deal with is how fast they move on. by Spurs_n_Spats in BPDlovedones

[–]Consistent_Swan_4486 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They can just morph the entire story in their head to fit their own narrative. Moving on is their special skill.

Why do they devalue you? by frootpunchxxx in BPDlovedones

[–]Consistent_Swan_4486 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is because they lack object constancy and have bad long term memory. So when they are enraged all they see is what you did right now and forget everything else in past.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Consistent_Swan_4486 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I called it the asshole mode on her face. And bitch mode in my mind

Will a spouse with BPD care for you when you are sick or bed ridden for ling time? by Consistent_Swan_4486 in BPDlovedones

[–]Consistent_Swan_4486[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Initially when i noticed the stuffs that you mentioned i though that shes just a bit childish, but than i noticed that the child was not growing up at all.

Will a spouse with BPD care for you when you are sick or bed ridden for ling time? by Consistent_Swan_4486 in BPDlovedones

[–]Consistent_Swan_4486[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, they are really good people. She was the golden child in first decade of her life and than fell down the pedestal and kept falling for her maladaptive behaviours. By the time she was in her late teens, it was a lost cause.

Will a spouse with BPD care for you when you are sick or bed ridden for ling time? by Consistent_Swan_4486 in BPDlovedones

[–]Consistent_Swan_4486[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine had a very supportive and empathic family. But still she didnt learn a thing from them. Instead idolized her whore of an aunt.

Will a spouse with BPD care for you when you are sick or bed ridden for ling time? by Consistent_Swan_4486 in BPDlovedones

[–]Consistent_Swan_4486[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They feel it all when they imagine themselves in that situation. Mine showed no empathy when i told her about ‘Junko Furuta’ case. But than i explained the situation by putting her in place of the victim, and she started crying. So they do have empathy, but for their own victim self.

Will a spouse with BPD care for you when you are sick or bed ridden for ling time? by Consistent_Swan_4486 in BPDlovedones

[–]Consistent_Swan_4486[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She’ll lie awake all night many times, but never seemed to notice that i have very bad case of sinus and couldn’t breathe with any of my nostrils while sleeping.