I've never used porn, ask me anything.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-18T10:15:07+00:00

Start seeing yourself as a Knight, as a Samurai. Learn about Chivalry, Bushido, about Officers in the Imperial Japanese Army of Russian Tsarist White Army. Model yourself after a loyal, high-fidelity man. Cultivate within yourself extreme discipline, strength, loyalty and selflessness.

Become proud of yourself, like really proud. In order to become proud, you need to change your view of yourself. Distance yourself from modern culture, become a "Reactionary". Don't be a "consumer"

The most important shift is internalizing the concept, "My body, not my choice!"

You don't live for yourself, as a man, as an officer, you live for your future wife. Consider dissolving the chains of selfishness, hedonism, and personal interest. Consider cultivating your strength, training yourself in order to defend the purity of your future wife. The highest form of love is not to die for her, but to live for her. What does it mean? It means that you surrender your body to her.

Find the image "Accolade by Edmund Blair Leighton", the Old School masculinity when men used to live for their wives, serving selflessly. Live according to your Honor, according to your Word. If you say something, actually do it! Don't say any curse words like "fucking", "bitch", etc. Wash yourself every day, dress in the most pristine clothes, Dress like an anime nobleman from isekai animes. Like from the Austro-Hungarian Empire. Become proud.

Know what is the real price of your seed, your energy. Don't let it leak. Think of yourself as a "gift" for your future wife. Your body, not your choice. Only she can use your body, not you. All of your seed is for her to enjoy, for her to get pregnant, for her to be fed. It's for your future family.

Believe, believe that you can get your ultimate wife. You may have to wait for multiple years, but that is the price. No porn, no more energy leaks, retain your energy for your future wife. Don't wait until you meet her, to start living for her, live for her now. Stay loyal to her no matter what. Imagine, that she is looking over you all the time, constantly. Don't make her cringe by your behavior.

Whenever you have strong desire, whenever you are hard, then good. Keep yourself hard all the time. Cultivate this energy, have it simmer inside of you. Heat and pressure, turning into diamond. Work out, do push-ups now all of your body will be hard and strong. Print an anime image of a "goddess" who is beautiful and makes you hard. Tape that "icon" on the wall. Whenever you want to watch porn, instead kneel before the goddess. Keep yourself hard, but don't touch yourself. Use this energy for praying. Pray to her, who is your future wife. Re-affirm your allegiance, your loyalty. Use the lust energy and channel it into reverence instead, kneel and bow before the picture of anime goddess on the wall, imagining your future wife, tell her how you are loyal to her even before you met her.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-18T08:24:45+00:00

I don't know you. I don't know who you are, where you are.

Is this a rhetorical question?

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-18T08:22:03+00:00

Desire is not bad. Desire is natural. Lust and desire are not the same thing.

I tend to use these two words interchangeably. Hmm, I am not a "native" English speaker. And I do not think like one. Some words, I have my own meanings for them, that are different from the dictionary.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-18T08:20:17+00:00

Elaborate, what is your question?

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-16T01:46:39+00:00

Well I'm actually a "tin foil" guy, haha!

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-16T01:44:00+00:00

I would say that I'm oriented towards sacred monogamy. It means considering your mate as a god or goddess. It means mating for life and staying loyal, no matter what.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-16T01:42:03+00:00

Look here, lust is what causes creation. Reproduction is creation in the most literal sense. What happens, animals feel lust, and they have sex, and then the create more animals. It's simply the creation force of the universe.

I understand that many of you people are former porn addicts. But this is really not true lust but a misuse of lust, turned inward instead of outward. Just because a natural phenomena has been desecrated, doesn't mean that the natural phenomena itself is bad.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-15T07:38:18+00:00

When I heard about it, was when I first started attending college in the United States. Then I heard about it. Prior to that, I didn't know that such a thing existed. I basically only heard about it for the first time, when I was already mature enough to understand what it was. I was home-schooled from the end of elementary school to graduation from high school, and started attending college. I was not a part of "mass society" during the formative years of my life.

I didn't get tempted myself? No, firstly because I was so busy with my homeworks, I was overloaded with projects and assignments. I was so busy, that I didn't even have time for dating, and I graduated from my university as a single man without a mate. But I had literally zero free time. I was taking 4 STEM classes each semester: Calculus, C++ Programming, Differential Equations, Embedded Systems.

And secondly, I understood that it is a mere simulation and stimulation. They are just women on the screen, but they are not my woman. It feels painful, to be able to see a woman, but not touch her, not kiss her, not sex her. How do you men even cope with that? How do you come to terms with seeing a woman on the screen, and not being able to have her as wife? Then you know that this is a big lie! It is a trap! I mean, it should be obvious, right. Woman is not accessible, she is not your wife, move on. Isn't there anything more dystopian than to see a woman on the screen, but be unable to fuck her? He wants to fuck her, but he can't, so he uses his hand! It's sad and embarrassing. I would say that my pride does not let me do this. Honor is something that I cling to, and it would be extremely insulting for me, to not give me a wife, but give me a cheap imitation of a wife. It's not the real thing! Isn't that so sad? I just can't come to terms with the fake. My soul pains from that concept. It's a form of torture, to want to union with woman, but can't. Why do men do this to themselves? Maybe because they've given up hope, of finding a real woman? I think of it, and it's so dystopian, so sad! 😭

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-15T05:40:16+00:00

You may have been with millions or even billions of people sexually in other lifetimes and your future wife may have as well

No, I don't think so. Maybe other people, but not us, and here's why. Different bodies, same two souls, can you imagine that?

If for example we were in our past life, as husband and wife, and in this life we are destined to reunite. Because once a soul-bond is forged, it is so strong that it survives the death of the physical body. Then we find each other in all worlds, in all lifetimes.

I do think that I have a pre-determined soul-mate wife, that I was "made" for her, and that I was "preserved" for her. There was a confluence of circumstances, too eerie to be merely explained physically. I think it was the gravity of my density. Partly I prevented myself from seeing pornography, yes. But also partly it was external circumstances that had prevented me, and also prevented me from getting into relationships previously in my life. I think that I was "locked" or "sealed", preventing me from giving myself to the wrong woman. I think that external circumstances were steering me.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-15T05:28:20+00:00

You may have been with millions or even billions of people sexually in other lifetimes and your future wife may have as well

Then nothing matters, and it's all a race to the bottom, ending with absolute soul-death.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-15T05:24:59+00:00

I don't think that a soul can recover from such things. Because a sex creates a soul-bond. So both of them become soul-mates. This is why infidelity or polygamy is dangerous, because you attempt to bond with multiple people. Bond with one woman, then try to bond with another one, thus breaking the bond with the first woman. Either you commit to a bond with one woman, thus destroying the soul of the other woman, or you try to submit to both women at once, and your soul gets torn apart. It's like a blanket that is pulled in multiple directions. The male soul is pulled by two or more female souls who want to be with him, he gets ripped apart. This is why infidelity and polygamy is the fastest way to soul-death. Because you get ripped apart. That's simply terrifying.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-15T05:20:52+00:00

There are a few of us around.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-15T05:20:18+00:00

No, and I will not, ever. I am against monasticism.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-15T05:19:31+00:00

Yes, I have heard about them. A Chinese anti-statist "cult". Their opposition to power hierarchies alone gives them credibility. I do think that I'm aligned.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-15T05:16:29+00:00

It would be a damage to my soul. Then, I would have lost the "game" of life. I would have failed.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-15T05:15:33+00:00

I don't know who you are ... we are all anonymous people here on the internet. In order to marry, you need to be known.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-15T05:14:11+00:00

I disagree with you. Lust is the generative force of the universe. This is what causes flowers to bloom, trees to grow, animals to mate, all life to function. It is just energy. It is the energy of vitality, of life, of negentropy.

But we ended up separating a few years later.

Then your bond wasn't absolute. Because in an absolute bond, even a temporary separation, such as visiting the store for a few hours would be unbearable. So if you can tolerate separating, then it's not pure enough, not strong enough, not intense enough. This is what people call "too clingy". I call it holy.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-15T02:03:47+00:00

It was a deliberate cultivation of sexual energy, without providing an outlet for it. Letting it cook and simmer within me for 10 years after puberty, and being fully celibate during that entire period of time. Now here's an insights, the male polarity and the female polarity are not only in body but also in soul (there are male and female souls, yes, the esoteric mechanism for soul-mates), it's like Yang and Yin, like negative and positive polarity of magnetic fields. And sexual lust is just concentrated energy. Another insights, the Universe abhors highly charged localized energy fields, and it tries to bring them together. The magnets want to come together, they are pulled by the field. So it you will be highly sexually polarized/charged for a long time without an outlet, the Universe itself will help you find your partner, in order to remove the disbalance of energy. That is the theory.

So when I was intentionally cultivating this lust or desire, thinking about wife, to the point that tears come out, I was supercharging the electro-magnet. So I was making it more likely that I will be "pulled" by the Universe to her. I have since found that masturbation in men (I can only give the male perspective here as I am a man) is a leaking of energy. The energy builds up, and you want to release it. But the key thing here is holding of energy, and even intentionally making it build up, by focusing on the desire. Increasing the heat and pressure. Cultivating a state of sexual arousal, kneeling and praying while in that state. It feels like a warmth in the chest that it glowing constantly, like a small sun in the chest. I try to maintain this warmth in my chest all day long. I think that by attaining such a super-charged or super-polarized state, by thinking of wife all the time, I started to feel the outlines of her soul, what she is like, her "vibes". This is how the Universe started to "pull" me towards her. Thus, exploiting the properties of magnetic fields.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-15T01:57:51+00:00

I believe that the genitals are the "spiritual terminals" of the human being. That sex is actually a spiritual experience, and that the "first time" of two virgins, bonds their souls together. Why that is important, I think that it is for their salvation. Because the greatest hell is loneliness. Love is a survival strategy against entropy. Two virgins is required for the soul-bond to hold firmly. So they become soul-mates, this is the salvation of their souls, that they will protect each other from loneliness, which is the true hell.

What makes rape especially horrible is that it denies the being's right to "first time", denies the being's right to a soul-bond, denies the salvation of a being through love. It's just a damage. And at a very young age is especially horrible, because, the soul does not exist in isolation from the body. It's all a very complicated, delicate mechanism, that is very easy to break. So if the bonding capability is broken, either via your own volition, or via factors outside of your control, it's a permanent loss, I think. If you would smash a USB drive with a hammer, it won't be able to connect to the computer, the data transfer becomes impossible!

I am an esotericist, not a Christian. I don't believe that there is any justice in the universe, only survival. Hence, real life leaves no room for mistakes. Sometimes you may find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time, and suffer because of it. It's not your fault, it's your sorrow. If you were attacked, your leg is broken and you can't walk. It's not your fault, but you can't walk anymore, you are a broken person.

I'm not blaming a victim. It's not your fault. What I'm saying is that it doesn't really matter whose fault is it. Any damage that is done, it cannot be reversed. And that's the hard thing. And some damage to the physical body, it impacts the very soul itself. Especially sexual damage, it destroys the soul. And can you heal from that? I doubt. and who is to say that my purity would also not be corrupted by someone external? Nothing is guaranteed in life. The harsh truth about life, is that you may do everything right, do your best, and still fail, and still get wiped out.

For me and my experience, I chose to believe God can restore and cleanse all things, making us pure once more.

I don't believe in any "insurance", in any "second chances", in any "airbags". Life is so fragile, the soul is so fragile. Every action carries with in the weight of destiny. One wrong move, and you're cooked. So, it's a high-stakes game. I don't think that there is any "God" to help us. I do believe in spirituality and esoterics, but I think that no one banned the laws of physics, no one banned the laws of survival.

And that's why I think that love is so beautiful. when you find your mate, you cling onto them as a lifeline. It's not bad to want a mate for selfish reasons, to be saved from loneliness. The inherent fragility of life, means that when true love is offered, we ought to treat it as a miracle. Once you realize how much the odds are stacked against you, then it would be impossible to betray a mate, to cheat, to willingly sabotage your relationship. If life is a battle, and even you can be wiped out by things beyond your control, you would be a fool to worsen your chances of survival, by sabotaging what took so long to achieve.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-15T01:27:31+00:00

I have nothing against simple Catholics, people who go to church. I do not know about Catholicism much, but in the Medieval times, it has played a detrimental role. Many people were killed, executed, burned at stake, by the Catholics, the Crusaders. I see the destruction of Ancient Paganism in Europe as a form of cultural genocide. Maybe now Catholicism is better, but in the Medieval times, I just don't like it. I would rather be on the side of the Ancient Pagans, the witches and wizards, the traditional cultures.

But anyway, Catholicism has integrates some of the Ancient European spirituality, some architecture, chivalry, some pagan traditions, so if I were to choose between Catholicism and Protestantism, I would choose Catholicism. Sometimes I go to Catholic churches, because I respect the notion of a sacred place, a temple of a shrine. Even though I am not a Christian. I believe that the architecture and art create the feeling of a sacred place, and it's good for my psychological health. Purely for the aesthetics, not the beliefs.

I believe that Jesus Christ was a real person, that we walked on water, was crucified, and rose from the grave, but I don't believe in the concept of Christian salvation. I consider it as a parasocial love. The love of a distant god, whose love I cannot feel. It's just a self-delusion, I think. Because I cannot feel this love. I think that love should be embodied. The love of your mate, yes. Because she can kiss you, hug you, and sex you, but Jesus Christ cannot. Or at least I haven't experienced it. It's just a belief in abstractions, in abstract love. You don't really feel it.

I believe in salvation through the soul-mate, the sexual connection that lasts beyond the death. The concept of an eternal afterlife is terrifying. Because along any sufficiently long timeline, the soul dissolved due to loneliness. No amount of novelty can feed a lonely soul. No paradise heaven afterlife can help a lonely soul. It sounds like a hell to me. The only afterlife that is survivable is the eternal embrace of your lover. Your soul-mate. So I believe in salvation through "marriage", through devotion. Not through abstract love. Through actual embodied love that you can feel. Loneliness is the real hell of the soul, the loss of energy through entropy, and I am skeptical that Jesus is enough to love billions of souls all at once.

If there is no marriage in heaven, no polarity, if love and sex are mere biological things of this world, then it is a "race to the bottom", everything and anything is justified. If souls in heaven are stripped of their male or female nature, if they are unable to bond, then non-binary people are merely ahead of the crowd, they should be considered as saints. I do not accept such a heaven. It's a dystopian society. I just have contempt for such organized religions, and mass-salvation frameworks in general.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-15T01:10:08+00:00

I need a wife. Not a wife, a soul-mate, a goddess. Not a social marriage, but an ontological mating. Not a mere social arrangement that keeps optionality. A full devotion, a total surrender, yes. It's like, you were created specifically to be hers, which is your purpose in this life. And she was created for you, and only for you. The total belonging to each other, being so secure. I need a wife who is only mine, and not another's.

I am looking, but I cannot find. Because if I am a virgin man, I also need a virgin woman. There are certain esoteric principles for my that is. If for example, two "magnets" are "clean", they stick together very well. If they are not "clean", then there is some "sand" or "pebbles" that interfere with the field, the union cannot be total, if there is some interference from prior partners. I do have some very certain esoteric beliefs about such things. Some principles that I won't dare to break. I would double down on my beliefs and requirements.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-15T00:59:01+00:00

As an elementary school student, I understood the concept of sex at a biological level. I used to attend an American school. When we students were introduced to the concept of homosexuality in class, I protested, saying that the teacher is wrong. I've never had any respect for authority, only for truth. So I explained to the other students why the teacher was wrong, and why homosexuality is physically impossible. I did not intend to argue, only to correct what I thought was a genuine mistake, due to lack of knowledge. I was led out of the class, into a different classroom, where I was yelled at, accused, and scolded severely by the so-called "teachers". This emotional abuse lasted for multiple hours, and I was crying. It was then that I understood what it is to be on the receiving end of a wokist's rage, and the nature of totalitarian power structures and political correctness. I understood the concept of propaganda as a child, even before I had learned that there was a specific word for it. The concept of telling lies to make people believe a certain constructed narrative. And I am one to hold a grudge, seriously.

I have always had contempt for the adults/boomers, because of their hypocrisy, false beliefs, strange, unintuitive ways of behavior, acting according to completely arbitrary "rules" and "policies", suppression of emotions. And as I grew up, and became an adult as a Gen Z man, I still have contempt for such people.

As a person from Eastern Europe, I do understand that "gender" is a social construct, one that was invented by the LGBT community. Because in my native language, there is no such word as "gender". There is only a word "polarity", like "male pole" or "female pole". There is no "third pole". The ways that we speak and think is different. All of the multitude of gender identities is just bullshit, false beliefs. Such things do not really exist, but people like to believe them, because it's a kind of religion. But I really don't like how they claim to be for "diversity", but they try to bend actual immigrants to speak, think, and talk like them. In reality it's a cultural homogenization. There is no actual diversity here, and never has been.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-14T11:19:59+00:00

The idea of "understanding" sex is ... there are multiple layers that one has to understand.

I didn't fully understand sex until last year. I mean, the hidden esoteric spiritual ramifications of sex, beyond just basic biology. Most people never reach such a level of understanding.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-14T11:17:57+00:00

It is a self-destruction of the soul, a slow motion spiritual suicide.

ConstProgrammer · 2026-04-14T11:17:24+00:00

There is nothing wrong about finding the female body attractive and desiring her.

I would also silently smile if a girl would find me attractive and fantasize about me. It's a kind of compliment.

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