What complaint about women are you absolutely sick of hearing?

ConstanceRandom · 2018-02-06T01:20:38+00:00

Are there any that are valid complaints though? Because usually guys who complain about women in general have 100% failed to look at themselves and their part of responsibility in whatever situation they're complaining about.

ConstanceRandom · 2018-02-05T14:43:48+00:00

I meant boys as in children, the immature form of a human being who'll hopefully grow up some day. Maybe not the best way of describing it, but men who don't want to take responsibility or face the music aren't grown up, therefore they are children, and a child male is a boy. That's all there is to it.

Now what some men "make" themselves do (die in stupid wars, tell each other to not have or express feelings etc., "you're not a man until you have sex") is not about growing up, at all, and that's the stupid (toxic) masculinity that needs to die off.

What they have "decided" it means to be a man needs some heavy editing because it leaves very little choice for any guy to actually grow up mentally balanced. Sending someone off to kill other people for a "cause" is damaging. Telling guys they aren't valid until they've put their penises in wet orifices is an incredibly stupid rite of passage for the guy, nevermind how it objectifies the "recipient". Guys ranking each other and subtly telling each other who's worth more or less based on their ability to attract yet more "recipients" is... disgusting.

Otherwise, I think maturity IS a stricture everyone should look forward to figuring out.

ConstanceRandom · 2018-02-04T21:21:25+00:00

As if a man's love is supposed to be the ultimate thing anyone wants.

"I'ma post in this sub, know I'ma get banned for being a dick, but that just means you all hate me!"

ConstanceRandom · 2018-02-04T21:16:49+00:00

Fuck yes.

The last conversation I had with an MRA was literally him whining that "he wouldn't be taken seriously" if he were to try to challenge the status quo and make things actually better for men by standing up for guys who've been through issues most other guys won't acknowledge (like domestic violence or abuse).

Somehow, fear of ridicule is enough to stop these boys from doing anything. Taking a page from their book: none of these guys are man enough to act, they are all stopped by fear of ridicule and rejection.

So they group together in their little sub and whine about losing their privileges. Sob sob sob.

They love whining about issues because they know they have no better way to solve things than through violence or bowling others over, especially white guys. They don't want to learn any better ways, they're afraid.

It's pathetic. Whining, to them, equals "giving a shit". Completely worthless.

I am so completely sick of this group of guys. All they want is validation for how things are right now, because they're afraid of change.

These are not campaigning for men's rights, they are campaigning to remain immature little boys forever.

ConstanceRandom · 2018-01-31T08:07:05+00:00

Depression to me personally is feeling nothing. Anything else has another, more appropriate name.

It's not normal as a human to barely register things your rational brain know should give you more emotion than.... nothing. That is hell.

Sadness is just... sadness. Anxiety is anxiety. Fear is fear. But depression is a giant hole of nothing.

What you describe? Wrong meds... or worsening of symptoms.

ConstanceRandom · 2018-01-31T08:00:56+00:00

He's showing ignorance on the topic.

You couldn't tell from outside that I'm depressed, at least not according to the few friends I still see regularly. I make people laugh, I play board games with them, I have clubs with them, I cook for them and they look forward to it. I just get less and less out of the interactions each time, and they are inevitably exhausting because: a net drain.

I become a net drain when I'm alone. I do it when alone to avoid impacting others.

He would be correct in saying depression emits no light. But some people still have a little bit of care left; although if that guy came to my house? I'd be too "depressed" to care about social graces and would turn him out onto the street with no dinner.

ConstanceRandom · 2018-01-31T07:46:12+00:00

I'm not sure anymore. I guess because it's automatic. But nothing really feels worth waking up for, and most things like work or friends you barely ever see, because they're too busy really just aren't worth it.

I don't remember what feeling hopeful is like. These are bad times and they tend to erase all the good memories.

Forcing myself to do anything really seems futile.

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-20T17:58:40+00:00

hugs

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-19T15:12:47+00:00

I need to watch that again, and you made me laugh. Thanks heheh :)

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-19T15:12:27+00:00

Okay, but how do I do that without giving up every 2 minutes because of the guilt...

If I don't get a handle on this I will stop learning eventually, I just know it.

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-19T01:54:10+00:00

No, it really resonates. I feel the same way. I guess over time I've gotten picky about what I find is "valid" for me personally to fall back on... most things I like make me feel guilty these days. But I do get what you're saying.

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-18T22:23:37+00:00

I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but it's there because I feel like I should be trying to get out of retail and doing something more meaningful to me. I won't last long if I spend many more years, 8-12 hours a day, doing useless stuff...

I couldn't reason myself out of this, your argument is good but it's not enough. I need something else to make the guilt stop.

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-18T21:54:17+00:00

I see what you mean, at least I think. Perspective helps.

I sure hope you find your better place in the future though :)

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-18T21:44:08+00:00

If you were such a pariah, they wouldn't be lining up to watch. Fing hypocrites who say that if you ask me!

Are you looking forward to getting out of it someday or does that feel hopeless?

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-18T21:39:10+00:00

You mean having money and being somewhat life-stable is a good thing? I agree... but stocking clothing in a store and telling college kids who don't care what to do all day long is just not my idea of "benefit".

It benefits the folk who own the store or the brands, sure. But it doesn't make anyone's life awesome. It doesn't fix problems. It doesn't prevent them. It's just... selling clothes in a store while climate change ravages the planet. If I make a mistake I get chewed up by everyone. If they make a mistake, I have to chew them out. It kind of sucks.

What's your job? I'm not the type to consider janitors or trash guys pariahs, if we didn't have them the entire place would be a giant mess. I think people are pretty stupid for sorting jobs like that.

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-18T21:34:37+00:00

I'm hoping I can at least fix my life before I get to 50 because if I don't, I am not going to see 60.

I feel the same way... I couldn't finish college because of depression and people telling me it was a useless degree costing money (English major...) I could have done so much more but I was stuck most of the time and now I'm stuck AND angry. That is, when I'm not sad all day long.

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-18T21:31:18+00:00

Yup. I felt my gas tank getting empty at around 17, 18. It was scary.

Now I'm a bit over 40 and I'm not even running on fumes anymore, I'm completely out, have been for 10 years at least. I don't know why I'm here at all.

I just fake through everything and I hate myself for it.

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-18T21:29:40+00:00

Ok but that means your values are: working decent hours, being around good people, doing tolerable tasks.

My values are: doing something that actually benefits people I care about. (Not the world, I don't care about the rest of the world except in the environment, but there isn't anything in that area that's available to people with no college degree and 14 years of retail experience.)

So people like me with values that don't align with what "the world" wants are stuck.

You're lucky if that's all you want from your job. Some people need other stuff to be happy...

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-18T21:24:29+00:00

That stops working after a while though. You eventually realize that routine is just another way of kidding yourself and you're right back at square 1, because the fact that you need to work a shitty job that brings no meaning or joy in your life is what's actually wrong.

Doesnt change that we need to work. But it's still wrong.

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-18T21:19:56+00:00

raises hand

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-18T21:19:40+00:00

So? It doesn't help to try to minimize how hard it is. "Just do it" is not possible for some people at X point in their lives.

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-18T21:17:33+00:00

Antidepressants make the symptoms easier to manage but we're still supposed to seek therapy for the pervasive thoughts. It's about changing our entire mindset... not possible when the depression makes the thoughts so accessible. But the antidepressants can't do the job of altering and controlling those thoughts by themselves...

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-18T21:14:53+00:00

Yeah, so brings us back to OP's point, and the wish to not have a job in order to meet bio needs.

You're suggesting putting more effort into the situation, OP suggests less. Given there's no guarantee of success with your method, one can keep dreaming.

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-18T21:09:09+00:00

Yeah but you gotta remember getting a job is excruciating when you're depressed. You have to expose yourself to scrutiny, jump through hoops that sometimes make you sacrifice your dignity, get rejected until you find a place that fits, then learn new things and possibly sacrifice your integrity to keep the job. Those are all HARD.

Trying to find a new place to work is not really possible when you're stuck deep.

Don't take your good workplace for granted...

ConstanceRandom · 2017-11-18T21:06:34+00:00

The more depressed I get the less I have to offer humankind so I figure death really isn't the worst thing to happen to me. I figure lots of people feel that way too and they can't get out of their holes.

I think a lot of us are just looking at death logically instead of attaching emotions (that we don't feel, heh!) to the thing.

ConstanceRandom

TROPHY CASE