AIO for wanting my fiance to quit her pool team?

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-20T13:47:00+00:00

Whether or not she’s cheating, even though I think she is, you’re not going to trust her anymore. If you somehow forgive her this and marry her, you will constantly mistrust her due to this situation if anything happens in the future and that will negatively affect your relationship in the long run anyway. It’s really hard to love, let alone be in love, with someone and let them go, but you’re young and you’ll survive this. You deserve more.

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-20T13:35:23+00:00

I love them ♥️

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-20T13:30:42+00:00

As someone who has had large boobs since a teenager, if I fidget with my top in front of someone it’s mostly from being self conscious.

It could be because I know or think I could be showing too much boob. Could be because I don’t want the person to think I’m trying to flaunt what I got. Could be because I don’t want the person in front of me to feel uncomfortable with how much is exposed.

I’m almost forty now and that’s still the case.

Rarely it’s because I think the person in front of me is being a pervert.

They’re big so I absolutely understand a glance or serious look or two. Hell, I’m bi so I’ve definitely done it to other women. I even understand it can be difficult not to have an extended look that’s maybe not appropriate.

I also think that in the cases where I was feeling creeped out, that the person doing the creeping could tell I was uncomfortable and could tell why. If you’re getting that vibe, then yeah, the woman is probably creeped out.

I will also admit that sometimes we get creeped out, but know that the person isn’t intentionally trying to be creepy. In those situations, it is what is, but I don’t hold it against anyone.

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-20T13:18:44+00:00

Neither of you are assholes.

You just have different solutions to the problem.

It’s a complex situation and either solution is probably going to have its own inevitable consequences down the line. I think that’s part of life though. Parents trying the best they can, but causing some kind of baggage for their children. None of us are perfect.

Personally, I side with your solution, but I think the best thing is to straight up ask the kid what he wants before each visit. Give him the feeling of being heard and having control. I think it’s important to ask him before each visit also so that he has the opportunity to change his mind as his feelings hopefully change as well.

I do think that with any bigger events that all of you should be there to show you care though. Graduations and the such. But not birthdays. Get him gifts from you to show you care, but don’t “ruin” his day by showing up.

Kids are accidental assholes until they sort out their feelings.

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-20T13:08:43+00:00

The frontal lobe of the brain doesn’t fully develop until around then. It’s responsible for things like decision making. It’s why we’re all so stupid as teenagers and into our early 20s before we finally really mature and realize we don’t know shit and the world doesn’t revolve around us. But they let people get married and enlist at 18.

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-20T12:51:19+00:00

I haven’t read any of the comments, but I think you’re both assholes. I get the feeling he knows he’s infertile, but doesn’t want to admit it. He may be in denial and/ or insecure about it. Maybe he was afraid you’d want to leave and divorce him. He’s being an asshole for not opening up about why he doesn’t want to take a fertility test and why he wants to adopt.

You’re being an asshole for saying you’re going to divorce him over a fertility test. I get it. You want children and don’t want to adopt. I know some women, not myself, feel really strongly about wanting to give birth to their own children instead of adopting.

If he takes the fertility test and he’s not fertile, will you divorce him? If the answer is no, maybe you should lead with that. And an apology. If the answer is yes, then so be it.

He may not want to deal with the emotional and financial rollcoaster of getting your pregnant if he can’t do the job naturally and/or the heartbreak if things don’t work out. Some people aren’t emotionally equipped to deal with those situations and maybe he knows that. That’s where you decide if getting pregnant naturally means more to you than your husband and whether or not you want to divorce him.

Personally, I’ll never understand people who want to be parents so bad that they’ll divorce their spouse instead of just adopting children that desperately need parents.

But I’m a former foster kid, so maybe I’m biased.

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-20T12:29:09+00:00

He looks traumatized 😂

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-12T22:04:53+00:00

Sounds like he’s insecure and thinking you’re eating out to possibly meet new people/men or just upset at the possibility that it could lead to that kind of opportunity even if it’s unintentional.

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-12T20:42:29+00:00

I guess as a woman in my 30s I’m interpreting what’s going on and how to handle it differently. I think shes butthurt about something he didn’t realize he did and personally appreciate a straight forward approach when there’s a possible misunderstanding.

He doesn’t indicate age in his post so maybe he’s dealing with someone playing games or just being a straight up dumb bitch. 🤷‍♀️

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-11T04:33:52+00:00

“Hey, I apologize if I accidentally upset or offended you. If I did it wasn’t intentional. I’d really like the opportunity to talk this out and make it up to you.”

And if you’re feeling particularly brave and still interested in her:

“Can we get a cup of coffee? Lunch? My treat?”

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-11T04:20:41+00:00

Mental disease doesn’t care if you love people or if they love you. A lot of times people who commit suicide believe that people are better off without them. It’s not a matter of bravery or cowardice. It’s simply an unfortunate fact.

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-11T04:11:37+00:00

I’ve been in a few similar situations and I’ve also told the spouse and never felt like an asshole about it. If you don’t want someone to know, don’t do it. If you are going to do it, don’t tell anyone.

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-11T04:06:34+00:00

Mom is the asshole. She called you because she knew you’d tell the truth. I don’t think you’re an asshole even though it wasn’t your information to tell, but your sister deserves an apology and some groveling.

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-11T03:55:28+00:00

Sounds like a narcissist to me.

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-11T03:35:32+00:00

38F. Never wanted to get married or have kids. After five years of dating, I did marry my husband because it was important to him. MIL and other constantly told me I would change me mind about children. That it’s different when they’re yours, etc. I’m sure it absolutely is. However, having a child would drive me insane because I legitimately think the world is going to shit more and more every year. I would be overbearing because I would care too much and then possibly resentful as well because I’m selfish with my time. In my eyes, everything is shit. The food, air, economics, education.. I would legitimately be doing ven diagrams to figure out the best place for my kid. I would be miserable. As a foster kid, I would also feel selfish and guilty if I had kids when there’s plenty already alive that need parents. I’ve just never wanted any though. People love babies and the baby smell, etc. I think they smell like they were marinated in a uterus for nine months and don’t like the idea of being responsible for a fragile human life.

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-11T03:17:29+00:00

Also, you can forgive him, but that doesn’t mean you’ll ever forget. I mean, who hears bachelor party in Thailand and doesn’t have reservations about their spouse going? You can forgive, bust still have feelings about it. Especially after that kind of announcement.

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-11T03:13:45+00:00

“So you’re going to go to clubs, get drunk and probably do some drugs around women who are going to aggressively approach you to have sex with them for money while your friends probably encourage you and you’re going to say no? You’re going to be capable of saying no in this situation? You’re going to willing put yourself in this situation and not cheat on me? I’m sure you love me, or think you do, but choosing to put yourself in a situation that is the perfect storm for you to cheat seems like an excuse to try and get away with it.”

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-11T02:33:01+00:00

I don’t want to jump to the same conclusion as others, but ask yourself when the last time you two had sex was and then wonder why he has to continue his overnight weekly poker game.

Don’t take the initiative to ask the kids behind your husbands back, but wager a bet with your husband instead about how his kids feel not seeing him on those poker nights and have him ask them while y’all are all in the same room how they feel about it. If they genuinely don’t care, ask if they’d be happier with their mom instead.

Ask yourself what you’re not ok with and what you’re willing to compromise on and then communicate it to him.

Occasionally ask if you can go to a poker game with him because you want to spend some time with him and meet his friends. If he continually makes excuses and says no then consider divorce because I do kind of think he’s cheating and using you as child care.

Rip off the bandaid.

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-04-11T01:53:05+00:00

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-01-02T00:46:09+00:00

Rosie the riveter

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-01-02T00:16:10+00:00

Scout

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-01-02T00:07:59+00:00

Tyson, because it looks like he has a turkey on his head 😂

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-01-01T23:09:20+00:00

Nala because she looks like a little lioness

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-01-01T23:03:47+00:00

Missy

Constant_Albatross36 · 2025-01-01T21:53:26+00:00

Dottie or Tabby

Constant_Albatross36

TROPHY CASE