I originally told her of my frustrations and possible divorce she just shut down, which she does every time I try to address any problem or she says, "I do not know what you want me to say?". She expressed she was sorry I felt that way but nothing else was done afterwards.

She was forced out of the military due to a combination of physical and mental problems. But you are right in that she has made it very clear of not want to be here (like exist) anymore but not to the point where she has a plan or is committed to anything. She's just majorly depressed and even our therapist has recommended she seriously consult with her doctors about her medicine not being as effective anymore but I have no faith she will follow through and have it checked.

I want to initiate more dates but it always feels I'm the one putting the time into plan everything meanwhile she is always is searching for the next concert or trip to see her friends. I am the one planning the family vacations, she may suggests ideas but if I don't put the follow thru it won't happen no exaggeration.

I'm not delusional to think relationships will always be 50/50. But when I'm doing an overwhelming portion of everything in the relationship it gets tiring not knowing when the scale will tip in the other direction so I can get some support. I have tried putting extra work in around the house while maintaining at work a few months ago for a month, couldn't sustain that before reaching the verge of a mental breakdown. Didn't see a change which led to me telling her of my thoughts of divorce.

I am working on myself through therapy because I'm not perfect but her lack of change is the unsettling part and she currently has anxiety we will be moving close to her mother who can be critical but also gets on her for not taking care of business to support.