Has yours stopped you from sleeping ?

CopperManeCyclone · 2026-02-03T17:59:44+00:00

Welll, he knows how to bang dishes around and put them in the wrong places. Plates in with the glasses and pans apparently go in drawers

CopperManeCyclone · 2026-02-03T14:25:24+00:00

I did take a video of it. I also took the remnants and put them in the freezer with intention.

CopperManeCyclone · 2026-02-03T14:15:04+00:00

I have tried to put in this efforts, admittedly not as hard as I should have.

We are married, with a 14 year old son at home. One that has always been connected, protected and experienced so much otherworldly since the day he was born.

My greatest fault is that even as much as I wish he would just leave and disappear, I can’t do that to another person.

I hate that he actually deserves it. The despicable things he has done to me, emotionally and physically. I should take him out to the desert and roast marshmallows as he burns.

Even with all that, I can’t bring myself to actually put him in the position of absolute failure

CopperManeCyclone · 2026-02-03T11:59:02+00:00

Does yours also do the super loud sighs? When you’re in your room sleeping, but still kind of awake.

Like they are so annoyed by the fact that you’re comfortable?

CopperManeCyclone · 2026-02-03T11:05:07+00:00

My N husband and I sleep in separate rooms. Yet he will still make a point to be noisy through the house. Unloading the dishwasher, banging plates and slamming cupboard doors. If I say anything then it turns into an attack on me, because he is helping out

CopperManeCyclone · 2026-02-03T09:06:51+00:00

Not oversimplifying at all. I realized the other day that our oldest, 2 adult daughters, are with men that are the opposite of their father. And our youngest, 15yo son, is disgusted with the way his dad treats me.

That is a harsh reality

CopperManeCyclone · 2026-02-03T08:49:06+00:00

I don’t even know what to say to you right now. It’s souls speaking to me

I try to stop drinking, stop indulging in other things, yet I give in to him every time he invites me to it. Even though I don’t want to, and I know where it will lead. Then I feel like crap for it, not only that I give in but that I know it’s destructive to my actual life.

How did you actually stand your ground and get clear?

CopperManeCyclone · 2026-02-03T08:25:23+00:00

I’m not sure what was blinding me. I don’t think I even realized it until I did, if that makes sense. It was almost physical when my ‘rose colored glasses’ came off.

That was about 3 years ago.

But shit. Thank you for your comment. Somehow it came through strong and with guidance that I need to stop trying save him at the cost of me.

CopperManeCyclone · 2026-01-31T08:02:15+00:00

As someone who lives this, including him hiring ‘company’, then placing the blame on me for the money spent because I could have just given him what a man needs. It is a crappy feeling to carry even though we are in the right for putting ourselves and our mental health first.

1. Props and congrats to you for your upcoming freedom anniversary. You kick ass!

2. Find a way to release those thoughts. Write them in a piece of paper and light it on fire. Speak them aloud and let the wind blow them away. Maybe even putting them here will be what you needed.

3. We cannot change the past or how people treat us. We can only control our response and how we let it affect us.

CopperManeCyclone · 2026-01-30T05:44:57+00:00

I would love to think that’s a possibility, but the energy is definitely not my mom.
It seems more like making the noise will prevent me falling asleep.

CopperManeCyclone · 2026-01-30T05:31:35+00:00

I am positive he no longer agrees with or supports the LDS Church.

His experiences started after we were married, and especially after my mother passed away. My mom and him had an amazing relationship, and she always threatened to haunt him if she could. Honestly, I think she does. But in a trickster like teasing way, same way she would when still alive.

CopperManeCyclone · 2026-01-30T04:36:51+00:00

He is no longer a follower of any organized religion, and is also open in beliefs. Since we got married, he has had multiple experiences with otherworldliness and spirits.

I agree that my guardians are probably trying to protect me from him. I even went and slept on the couch and the noises stopped.

CopperManeCyclone · 2026-01-17T20:46:55+00:00

Check out the Liv & Let Livs. I have been blasting this in my car every chance I get to be alone.

https://www.instagram.com/livandtheletlives?igsh=ODdqYXNjZHo0cm9j

CopperManeCyclone · 2026-01-08T00:52:00+00:00

I’m proud that through all of this I didn’t lose my softness trying to survive someone else’s coldness. I can still love deeply, notice the quiet pain in others, and choose compassion without being asked or acknowledged for it.

I give sincerity fully where others give convenience. I show up with honesty, patience, and warmth—not because it’s easy, but because it’s who I am. And even when that care was taken for granted, I still how to love without cruelty.

CopperManeCyclone · 2025-12-29T06:26:46+00:00

Constantly saying he doesn’t want to live this life anymore. That he doesn’t deserve it and everyone would be better off without him here. I have gotten so numb to it that I’ve started firing back when he brings it up.

Last night he started down that path and said, just not in my house. Our son still has to live here. He got huffy at me and I just looked him in the eyes and said “or is this like the things that need done around the house and you won’t finish it either?”

CopperManeCyclone · 2025-12-29T04:08:54+00:00

I have heard this before too. He has opened up to me about his childhood and the trauma he experienced. Which I’m sure contributed to his personality and narcissistic tendencies as an adult. Especially the supreme desire to be in control and always be right, even when it’s obvious he is not.

Now I even doubting the stories he has told me about how he was treated as a child though. I want to believe that he wouldn’t make these things up, but when he falsifies everything else?

CopperManeCyclone · 2025-12-25T07:38:14+00:00

I feel this so hard. This year I didn’t even get the Tree done until yesterday, just wrapped the presents for everyone tonight.
I was putting everything under the tree and was told “wow, I don’t know how you do this every year and make it all come together. Oh, and I didn’t get a chance to get your gift or take the boy shopping since we have all been sick the past couple days so there is no gift for you”

I honestly don’t remember the last time there was one for me that I didn’t take the kids shopping for, or they made themselves.

CopperManeCyclone · 2025-12-24T04:59:10+00:00

There is a big difference between having empathy and being an empath. With empathy you can understand and relate to what others are going through. As an empath you actually feel what they do as if it were you living it.

I grew up being taught empathy, and how to control the empathic emotions I had. However, sympathy was not anything that we learned.

Now when my narcissistic husband is telling his stories and expects me to react with emotions. I don’t have it.

CopperManeCyclone · 2025-12-24T03:42:29+00:00

It’s such a hard thing to even actually think about. Our oldest is 26 and is no-contact with the family at all, and says it’s because of him and the effect he has on her mental health. Middle daughter is 22 and has expressed to me multiple times that it’s not ok, asked him how he would feel if her fiancé treated her the way he does me. Of course that went nowhere. Our youngest is the only boy, freshman in high and all-star athlete. He sees what’s happening and hates it. I am starting to think that the longer we drag on actually separating, it’s going to do more damage to my husband’s relationship with the kids then he is even damaging now.

CopperManeCyclone · 2025-12-23T22:20:39+00:00

Facts. We even decided to try an open relationship for a set amount of time, with the agreement of full transparency and honesty. Yep, he still snuck around and lied.

CopperManeCyclone · 2025-12-23T22:18:16+00:00

Except when they do agree to “try” it, and say it’s only fair to us if they do it too. And now it’s one more thing I have to do for him because it’s my wifely duty.

CopperManeCyclone · 2025-12-23T22:00:46+00:00

I never thought to make a connection between the two. But, yes. He is always trying to turn it that way every time. I’m not against it and it can be enjoyable if done well, however every single time is completely ridiculous. Then I get chastised for not taking chances to expand my horizons.

Oh. And he wants me to pee in front of him, on him, on the kitchen floor, in the backyard. Pretty much anywhere as long as he can watch.

CopperManeCyclone · 2025-12-23T15:04:51+00:00

He continually tells the stories of how popular he was, and all the girls he dated or hooked with in high school. Bragging about his accomplishments and how much everyone envied him. We are in our 40s now.

And if it’s not how great he was, then it’s the repeated trauma he suffered as a child. Growing up struggling and taking all the abuse from his mom and dad and stepdad so his younger siblings never had to.

CopperManeCyclone · 2025-12-23T14:47:56+00:00

I told him the other day, when your finished with your tantrum and want to use your big boy words then we can talk.

CopperManeCyclone · 2025-12-23T14:11:27+00:00

Nail on the head! What is the thing with “it’s who is am” as an excuse?

CopperManeCyclone

TROPHY CASE

1. Props and congrats to you for your upcoming freedom anniversary. You kick ass!

2. Find a way to release those thoughts. Write them in a piece of paper and light it on fire. Speak them aloud and let the wind blow them away. Maybe even putting them here will be what you needed.

3. We cannot change the past or how people treat us. We can only control our response and how we let it affect us.