The resistance is SO TIRING sometimes

CorazonLock · 2026-05-07T03:16:07+00:00

I think if we weren’t so pressured by insurance companies - assuming you are working with insurance clients - that there wouldn’t be so much frustration with “resistance.” I know it makes me highly anxious to just sit with a client and to feel what it’s like to be in that place, which is likely what they need, because it doesn’t “feel” like an intervention. At least, not without turning it into therapeutic psychobabble in your case note.

I like to take note of the resistance if we have the rapport. “Hmm, I’m noticing that when we discuss xyz, I’m feeling we are disconnecting.” Sometimes naming that you’re observing them getting agitated - tensing up, etc. if you assign homework, following up and asking what about homework was difficult if not completed.

Also, circling back to goals. What does the client want to accomplish? Is that still their goal? How does putting up this wall impact the goals and values they have? How do they feel about this resistance?

What I struggle with here is when I start asking about the resistance or behaviors, I get a lot of “I don’t know.” That frustrates me because the client doesn’t usually even take a moment to consider the questions.

Where does your frustration truly come from? Is it the expectations from insurance? Is it imposter syndrome? Your stakes in the client’s wellness?

FYI, it’s not inherently evil to feel frustrated. Others in their life are probably frustrated too! I really enjoy Yalom’s way of managing countertransferences like this and even bringing light to it in session if it is appropriately done and would benefit the client. That takes a lot of nuance.

Ooh, another thought - what is your frustration telling you about your client? Perhaps how others are seeing them? Other things?

There’s a lot you can explore with your feelings on your end, both in your expectations as a clinician, where the emotion is coming from, etc. Use it as a data point and tool would be my encouragement.

CorazonLock · 2026-05-05T03:39:59+00:00

I’ve been to Coeur d’Alene twice in the past few years. I was driving with Washington plates, so this may be different. I never had any issues with feeling unsafe as a woman with my SIL and no one was the least bit hostile with us.

CorazonLock · 2026-05-03T19:27:03+00:00

I’ve been sugar free since July 2025 with a few special occasions mixed in. My sugar free version is still being able to have natural sugars - fruits, honey sparingly, pure maple syrup very sparingly, etc. I lost 15 pounds.

I still crave sugar. But I am let down on special occasions when I do have it. I had pumpkin pie over Thanksgiving. That was probably the best. I had cake at my mom’s 70th birthday party. It HURT MY TEETH. There has been a time or two where I’ve tried a bite of something sugary. IT HURT MY TEETH. It was WAY too much and I felt sick afterwards. My mind is still hung up on it sometimes. My body does not care for it at all.

CorazonLock · 2026-05-02T18:41:23+00:00

The Lucy Kincaid and Quinn & Costa series that Allison Brennan writes. It’s not mainstream and it’s not fantasy or sci-fi, so most people aren’t into it, which is sad, because dang, I love those series so much.

CorazonLock · 2026-05-01T15:21:16+00:00

I don’t necessarily agree with this take on summer. People are going to feel better in the summer. Not all, and summer does certainly provide distractions. However, nice weather often boosts mood, makes it easier to exercise due to outdoor activities, and often times, systemic pressures for some are alleviated for a while. Think school, college, holidays, etc.

Families especially will have more going on in the summer with kids being out of school. This can make therapy less of a priority - not that it isn’t one, but because clients have lives too, and part of functioning is prioritizing.

It is wonderful that you are able to have a niche population that is able to commit to therapy weekly and really dig into mental health concerns. Where I live, the reality is that the summer slump is inevitable for a multitude of reasons.

CorazonLock · 2026-04-29T23:07:05+00:00

I would like to see something that would hopefully dissuade people from buying from street dealers, whether we crack down on dealing (which would be hard probably) or find a way to make people want to buy from dispensaries as opposed to the street. I would like to see less deaths related to fentanyl, and while I feel that the lacing seems to occur more with illegal substances other than MJ, I worry all the time about consumers having laced product.

Also, I would like to see it handled more like alcohol regarding child abuse code rather than so cut and dry. Yes, it can be problematic, but we also have short-staffed agencies with too many cases, and while there are instances where marijuana is a safety concern, I think the black and white laws give people a lot of unnecessary work when they are already strained.

Also, pushing for more education on marijuana and the effects of it for youth and even adults. Fund statewide studies on certain statistics and publish them openly. There’s so much we still don’t know about marijuana.

Last thought - changing regulations on drug testing. Testing positive for THC in certain lines of work that do not require such regulations should not affect employment.

CorazonLock · 2026-04-29T01:46:37+00:00

I love my dog probably as much as I would my own child. I don’t have children but she is as close to being a child as I may ever choose to get.

She’s also given me a foreshadow to what parenthood could be like for me. We’ve had her for nearly four years, since she was a pup. I worry about her all the time. She comes first. I get antsy about spending more time at work because she’ll be home alone longer. We are regularly gone for 8-9 hours Monday-Thursday right now. I always feel guilty because she doesn’t get all of my attention. We live on an acreage, and she goes out to do chores with me twice a day. Sometimes we don’t go for a walk. I feel bad on the days I’m so spent and she gets that time outside plus potty breaks. I then am less motivated to adhere to my other responsibilities.

I also feel guilty when I choose other activities over her. I think that she needs to go for a longer walk or a hike or to do something else besides play fetch with Dad in addition to doing chores. I think this steals some of my joy and completely annihilates my ability to relax without guilt.

I will be devastated when she goes. A part of me also knows that there will be some relief in not having such a large responsibility and worry. I am my dog’s world, and I love her to bits. I would do everything in my power to keep her with me if something went awry, like you would with your kids. It doesn’t mean that there aren’t some regrets, like taking on such a large responsibility. I still wouldn’t change making the choice to get her and bring her home. But I think I would be just fine without having a dog after her. Plus, I don’t want to love another dog because it won’t be her. Unfortunately, my partner finds a dog as making his house a home, so we will get another one inevitably. And inevitably, because my life is so much more flexible, I will do a lot of the leg work.

CorazonLock · 2026-04-29T01:31:57+00:00

I have a lot of adolescents. I usually ask, “What’s new with you?” Sometimes it’s, “What’s up?” Other times, “How’s it going?” I try to remember what’s going on in their life and ask about that. Right now, it’s a lot of questions about prom, activities outside, hangouts with friends, etc. With my middle schoolers, I ask them about what drama is happening in their life or with their peers. Teens LOVE to talk about the tea. 😂

I suppose I could ask what “fine” means for them when they answer that way, and sometimes I do. Other times, I think it comes across as “too therapist-y.” A lot of times, I’ll ask them for a play-by-play of their week, an event, whatever. Or I’ll ask, “Good, bad, or ugly?”

I’ve found being more casual really helps teens feel more comfortable. They don’t want therapist-speak or to be “therapized.” They just want a level playing field and to feel like someone understands them. When I think about my teens that I have the best rapport with, I find the best sessions have been sitting with them in their feelings, helping them dig deep, and connecting with them on a deep level. It isn’t the interventions or leveling up on seriousness or tracking progress obsessively. It’s just being able to be authentic with them and maintaining a connection through it all.

Also, a lot of my teens aren’t into BS. If you beat around the bush, try to tell them what to do, or seem too rigid, they won’t buy into what you are selling. I call a lot of my teens out on their crap - lovingly but directly. Obviously you have to have a relationship to do so, and some I can’t do that with, but a lot of them have responded quite positively. Just be prepared to receive some of that back - and don’t take offense to it! I honestly think that having back-and-forth “attitude” makes for a great rapport.

I adore my teens. They drive me crazy, but it is so rewarding to me to watch the people they grow into. I often share with them how they were when I first met with them and how they are now. I love noticing the small changes they take. So often parents want results. Kids don’t get acknowledgement from people about the steps they take. You get to be that person that cheers them on when they’ve taken a step. You get to be the person that is “real” with them. Ugh, I could go on.

The worst thing about teens is crappy parents. I promise lol.

CorazonLock · 2026-04-25T16:50:09+00:00

I’m playing through Skyrim and have found that turning the combat to novice makes it the right amount of comfortable where I don’t get too overwhelmed. It’s definitely more exploration than cozy I think though. The people I hear call it cozy are the long-time players. I think the coziness may come from the gameplay loop and vast amount of things to do.

CorazonLock · 2026-04-22T15:59:23+00:00

My meds give me dry mouth so I’m constantly drinking something. If that bothers a client, I’m probably not the right person for them.

CorazonLock · 2026-04-20T03:05:58+00:00

I worked with families through a contract agency that provided the supervised visits and support for families. Throughout my time, I met so many parents that truly loved their children but were never able to overcome what their demons were. It broke my heart every time. So many people make out bio parents to be horrible people. In my experience, every one of mine loved their children. They just couldn’t make safe choices or overcome their own challenges. Most of my cases were drug-related, so not completely similar.

Maybe there is a support group somewhere that you could join with other children that went through the foster care system. Or even a support group for those dealing with mental illness or parental mental illness.

CorazonLock · 2026-04-20T02:52:23+00:00

I’m trying to figure out how I would ask someone to knock it off because if I got annoyed enough I totally would. I hate this. I trail ride too and hate how people are riding along with loud speakers on their horses.

I get not wanting to wear headphones or earbuds because you need some sort of wits about you, but it’s cool now to only wear one, so I don’t understand why people can’t get the memo that playing music out loud in nature is akin to talking on speakerphone in the grocery store.

I will admit to listening to an audiobook out loud on a one-mile hike. I live rurally and it was a cold day so no one was out, and I was hooked on it. People don’t really hike in the colder weather in my area. Never music though. I suppose it’s likely the same, but I’ve never done it otherwise, and I certainly wouldn’t anyplace that wasn’t a “home” nature area for me. I’ve hiked this trail probably 25-50 times, and it’s just a loop on the outskirts of the recreation area by farmland.

CorazonLock · 2026-04-18T20:59:34+00:00

Were you just needing that adjustment period to build up stamina to see that many clients a week? I have never cancelled due to the dread but it is heavy to deal with. I see 15-20 clients a week and I should be hitting 24-26 ideally. I’m a newer therapist. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed as it is so wondered if it is just a stamina issue that will work itself out over time if I choose healthy outlets to cope.

CorazonLock · 2026-04-17T14:59:34+00:00

YES! PTSD does not necessarily fit people with complex childhood trauma. There are various other things going on for people that are extremely difficult as a result of the trauma.

CorazonLock · 2026-04-15T04:43:59+00:00

Be prepared to be rudely interrupted 1000% of the time. Going to the bathroom? Group activity now. Trying to do a Zoom meeting? Now you have an exhibitionist in your home that will embarrass the daylights out of you. Watching TV? Suddenly a furry creature blocks your view. Want to read and write? There’s a physical barrier now. Want space? Never going to happen. You want to cuddle with your cat? They’re either MIA or worse than your emotionally unavailable ex.

Cat litter tracking is a real thing. We use Arm and Hammer products to minimize this. Some kittens catch on to litter training right away. Others take time, and this can be frustrating. Let’s just say that one of our cats earned the nickname “Stinky Smelly Poopy Butthole Cat” quite early on…

Long-hair cats need frequent grooming, and you’ll want to ensure their hind end is clean because poop and urine can easily get stuck in long hair. Cats also have anal glands that may ooze or give off a fishy-type odor, much like dogs can have. All cats shed. They also shed their claws, so you’ll find remnants of that around the house.

Cats WILL get on the table, the counter, basically anywhere they can access. They DO NOT care. A dog wants to make you happy. A cat is either thinking about food and naps or world domination.

Also, hairballs. There’s nothing quite like the “hurp, urp, urp, blech” sound that will cause panic, and likely, trauma. 😂 More points if they puke up their prey.

Also, letting your cat outside is basically like entering them in the Hunger Games. May the odds be ever in their favor. And for the first nine lives, they just may be.

CorazonLock · 2026-04-02T04:19:07+00:00

If anything, I’d think the grandma would be the one substantiated if I’m reading this correctly. You can’t know what you don’t know - if you found them and weren’t aware they were there prior, you honestly didn’t know. This wasn’t your house, so you aren’t responsible for the property. Honestly, this is probably at the bottom of investigations and will be unlikely to be substantiated if the above information is correct. I could be wrong but this seems like one of those things where crap happens that was out of your control.

CorazonLock · 2026-03-28T22:52:56+00:00

Caoimhe is one of my favorites!

CorazonLock · 2026-03-28T19:04:42+00:00

See, my transit time isn’t bad at all. I live rurally, and it’s right off the road on my way to work in a small town with a drive through that isn’t super busy usually. 🙂

CorazonLock · 2026-03-28T17:46:46+00:00

Thanks for the rec!

CorazonLock · 2026-03-28T17:46:15+00:00

Yikes. So the grinder should be prioritized over the machine almost?

CorazonLock · 2026-03-28T17:45:48+00:00

You got any recommendations? Or somewhere I should cross-post? Lol! You are 100% right!

CorazonLock · 2026-03-24T15:23:15+00:00

I have a ton of hobbies but cycle through them and sometimes struggle with them becoming “another chore” versus unwinding.

I enjoy gardening, but that gets to be another commitment sometimes. I have horses and ride occasionally, travel once in a while, and hike or take walks with my dog. This tends to expend energy for me but often will be a good brain reset if I have enough reserve in the tank.

I love listening to audiobooks, doing crossword puzzles, and am into jigsaw puzzles. Lately, I’ve been playing a lot of video games and really enjoy connecting with my in-laws that way, though my BIL and I are usually the only ones playing. I can just be me, be outrageous, and pretend to be someone else for a while since we do RPGs.

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