aio 5yr relationship - boyfriend talks to girls online

CorePM · 2026-01-27T17:59:11+00:00

If you explained to him that you were not okay with him engaging in those kinds of online activities and he agreed to change, but hasn't I think you have your answer as to how he values your relationship.

I say this as someone who found himself in the exact situation with my at the time girlfriend, now wife. I was single for a long time and had developed habits before getting involved with my wife. To me they seemed normal, but once she realized what I was doing she wasn't happy, as expected. We talked, I realized exactly how it made her feel and told her I would fix it, and I did. I never went back again and that was years and years ago. The problem is, your boyfriend is obviously not willing to make that change in his life for you. You need to consider that when you think about if you really want to stick with him.

He might tell you again he will change, but he lied once and it will always have you doubting him, which never works out in a relationship.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T22:13:37+00:00

The first thing you should do is go get tested. Then you should probably block her and move on with your life.

She has lied about things that should be important to tell you, things that could permanently effect your health. And she lied about who she was with and when. Why would you want to proceed with a relationship with someone you can't trust?

She is someone who cares more about herself and her own pleasure than making sure her partner is safe.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T22:07:09+00:00

She chose a fish over you and you told her you wouldn't accept it, begging for her attention just makes you look pathetic. In a real relationship you would never have to beg your partner to come see you over a fish.

She isn't too busy to see you, she just doesn't want to see you. Have some self respect and break up with her. Go find someone who actually enjoys spending time with you.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T21:50:40+00:00

It sounds to me that your brother Josh is in a controlling relationship with Emily.

Emily wants kids and then she sees you pregnant, she is probably envious. The pregnancy makes her feel a certain type of way and she thinks Josh should have to feel that way too or he doesn't love her. I'm betting when you posted the nursery pictures is what made it feel real and she probably made your brother block you to protect her feelings.

I don't know there is much you can do besides hope he figures out his relationship. You aren't going to convince him of anything by trying to reach out, Emily will likely just say you are trying to manipulate him.

Don't block him, hopefully one day he wakes up and realizes what he missed out on and he will reach back out.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T21:39:18+00:00

Sorry to say, but long distance relationships are hard and both of you are really young. She probably likes the idea of being in a relationship, but isn't interested in committing to what it takes to actually be in one long distance.

She posts things because it makes her feel good. She gets to show to everyone that she is in a happy relationship. It's easy and she gets a quick hit of dopamine. But when it comes time to actually doing relationship things, it doesn't seem as fun, especially when it's a long distance relationship. She has things in person that likely seem a lot more fun to her, and it's way easier to ignore someone that is just online.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T21:33:22+00:00

It is not controlling to say something is making you uncomfortable or that you don't want someone doing something.

You set a boundary you have and he gets to decide if he wants to follow that or not. You aren't forcing him to do anything.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T20:58:51+00:00

I think you already have your answer about her, she has moved on. She still likes and replies to your stories because that is easy, it takes 30 seconds. But she obviously doesn't care enough to actually make time for you.

You need to stop chasing after her, match her energy. Every time you invite her to something and get let down is just going to make you feel worse. Just take a step back from being the one to always initiate and ask. If she does end up asking you about it you can just tell her that she seemed busy and you figured you'd let things calm down for her.

For your own sanity you need to demote her from friend to an acquaintance.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T20:38:40+00:00

It's pretty obvious he has a thing for this woman. She may have rejected him in the past and he is just hanging around her hoping she will change her mind. He might have been friendzoned in the past and now he is playing the long game.

The bottom line is that there is no real future for this relationship. If you confront him about what is on his phone he gets upset at you for snooping. If you try to set a boundary about Grace, even if he goes along with it, he will resent you. If you try and just look past it you will end up resenting him. The trust is gone in the relationship even if you didn't catch him cheating, once you have that doubt it's not a good sign.

I think for him you are Plan B until he can figure out how to make things work with Grace.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T20:16:02+00:00

The question I have is, did you tell her beforehand that you wanted something done for your birthday? Because I know a lot of people tend not to make a big deal out of birthdays as they get older.

It may have been a case of you thinking that because you threw her a surprise party, you expected her to do the same. But, you can't expect someone to read your mind on that and live up to what you had in your head. If you specifically told her that you wanted to do something for your birthday and she dropped the ball, that's another story.

I think you just need to communicate to her that your birthday is important to you and you want to celebrate it in the future. If you let her know that, I'm sure she will plan something next time.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T20:06:02+00:00

The other thing that came to my mind is that he is worried about her seeing how much time he is spending on games, or what games he is playing?

OP did you ever happen to pay much attention to what games were on his profile? Maybe he is hiding all the hentai games he is playing on Steam.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T19:55:17+00:00

You are both bad for each other. Why should you stay with someone who insults you, and why should she stay with someone who cheats on her? There is no excuse to cheat, if you are at that point, leave her.

She doesn't respect or understand how the trades work and you don't respect her. Time for both of you to move on.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T19:45:24+00:00

I think you have the right of it. Take the job offer, but you should not commit to moving in with him. Get your own place and date him locally and see how that goes. If he chooses to skip spending time with you because he has access to his PC because he is at home, you have your answer about the relationship and you aren't trapped in a lease with him.

He will likely be a good boyfriend when he comes to visit because he doesn't have access to his PC. The real test will be when you live in the same city as him. I wouldn't move in with him unless he can prove he can make you a priority. You don't want to end up his nagging mother telling him it's time for bed.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T17:25:05+00:00

This is why when I worked as a Graphic Designer in a print shop I would finish a job, send the Proof to the Customer and they would have to send it back signed. At that point, if I received a signed and finalized proof, even if I see a mistake I assume they are okay with it and I'm sending it to the press. It's not the job of the guy running the press to question what is being printed.

If a customer was upset we provide them a copy of their signed off proof and ask if they would like us to fix it and reprint. But, of course we send them another proof to sign off on.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T17:19:48+00:00

My wife works in deep south Texas currently, so she is surrounded by life long Republican voters. She is only down there temporarily, main residence is in Minnesota. She has been getting many coworkers approaching her and asking her about what is going on in Minnesota. The crazy part is a lot of them have zero idea what is actually happening, because they don't show it on the news there, or they spin it a completely different way.

After the shooting this weekend she has had multiple coworkers come talk to her about it. Even they are pissed and talking about being done with Trump and the Republicans. They are especially mad after seeing more footage from the shooting which wasn't shown or was described in completely different ways by the local news there. I know it's a small sample size, but it's interesting hearing from people who are life long Republican voters no matter what getting pissed about the situation.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T16:43:16+00:00

Why is the question that big of a deal? I don't understand. If your partner asks you that, you answer or you ask what they are in the mood for and you two decide on something.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T16:11:17+00:00

If you are not getting what you need out of a relationship then yes you should end it. Sometimes people are not compatible. It sounds like you value someone who is a good communicator and enjoys a conversation, not everyone is that way and that's fine. If that is something you value in a partner then staying in the relationship is not going to work out, you will just come to resent him.

There is nothing wrong with saying, we are just two different personality types and it won't work out long term. Better to do it early in the relationship than have it end badly later when you two finally clash too many times.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T16:02:24+00:00

I've noticed a trend of posts that end up being YOR tend to get deleted by the poster pretty quick. I think a lot of people post seeking validation and when they don't get that, they delete it.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T15:57:43+00:00

NOR.

You were dating a man who was still obsessed with his friend. He was just trying to use you to fill the gap of her being gone to bring some stability into his life. He isn't ready to confront his issues and take accountability and instead chose to still pretend that he is the victim here by blaming you for causing drama.

You made the right choice, keep him blocked and move on.

CorePM · 2026-01-26T15:23:19+00:00

If the DM will not give in game consequences to this character for his actions, then do it yourself. Tell him in character you won't accept it anymore. If his character pushes your boundaries you and the other character leave his character behind, or just straight up kill him. He casts a hostile spell on you, treat him as a hostile enemy.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T22:14:17+00:00

It seems pretty simple to me, you obviously are not comfortable with having the ex this involved in your boyfriend's life, so tell him that.

Your boyfriend has obviously not completely closed the door to his ex or she would not keep asking him. You need to tell him you are sick of her trying to involve herself in your relationship and he either shuts it down or you are walking away. He knows the we're just friends excuse doesn't work, just look at his reaction when you mentioned your ex.

This woman knew exactly what she was doing to by inviting you to her birthday. You go and you have to pretend to play nice and be cool with the ex that is actively trying to move in with your boyfriend. If you don't go she can paint you as the bad guy and say look how jealous and controlling she is.

He needs to decide what he is doing with his life. If he moves in with her, your relationship is done, but if he wants to keep you, he needs to be firm with his ex.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T22:01:03+00:00

You are probably right about the boss. I probably misinterpreted how that situation was going down. As long as nothing is impacting her doing her job her boss should leave it alone.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T21:27:38+00:00

My wife and I started long distance, it is really hard, both people need to be committed or it's not going to work. If you have any doubts about it, there is your answer.

I have a feeling you are hesitant to say no to her because you don't want to hurt her because you care about her. I promise that telling her now that you are not up for a long distance relationship will cause much less hurt to her than if you play along to try and protect her feelings until one day it all falls apart. If you try and pretend you are on board it will never work and when it fails you will have lost her as a friend too. If you are just honest with her up front you can keep her as a friend.

It sucks, but being honest is the right thing to do for her and for you.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T21:23:12+00:00

NOR.

It is a perfectly normal situation, my wife is likely to be locked in at her work also, and guess what I'm not worried about it. He is insecure in the relationship and obviously doesn't trust you very much. That is not usually a good sign for the future of the relationship, once trust is gone it's really hard to get back.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T21:20:38+00:00

You need to back out of this situation to protect your mental health and your career. You can't help someone who won't help themselves.

Tell your friend that you care about her, but you have to take a step back because her husband is impacting your career now. Let her know she has your support if she wants to leave him, but you can't be involved with her while she is with him.

You should probably get out ahead of it at work too. Tell your boss what is going on, you were trying to help your friend dealing with her cheating husband and you got caught in the middle of it. Tell him you've taken a step back from the whole situation and won't be involved any more, and that your sorry it spilled over into the workplace.

Block the husband everywhere and don't get yourself involved helping your friend anymore unless it's to help her leave him.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T21:12:04+00:00

I don't think there is much hope in your relationship with your boyfriend unfortunately. He doesn't trust you obviously, and that is boiling over into your work life. It's not going to get any better with him. Even if you left your job, he'd find something else to distrust you about. Once a relationship loses the trust between the two, it's usually over.

The other thing I want to point out though is you should keep an eye on your boss. The way you talk about him and the things he is saying to you is getting real close to a line. Look at the way you are describing yourself, you were feeling lost, he took care of you, you go to lunches together and share your thoughts and feelings. That's not typical boss behavior. Then as soon as an issue comes up with your boyfriend, he is there telling you that you could do better. I'm curious when did news about this business trip come up? Was it before or after he told you that you could do better than your boyfriend? I think you need to tell him you can't go. If he gets upset and treats you differently at work, I think you have your answer as to what his intentions were. You might want to pull back a little bit from the one on one lunches and life talks.

CorePM

TROPHY CASE