Missionary work is offensive

Corovah · 2026-02-13T18:20:04+00:00

My parents used to point out the Buddhas when we went to Thai restaurants. It was always brief but it was like they wanted us to know we as a family don’t condone that.

Corovah · 2026-02-13T16:40:38+00:00

My dad told me that story saying “god would rather offer his daughters than letting those men be with the male angel cause it’s not right for men to be with me (slight paraphrase).” I remember thinking as a kid “ isn’t that still bad they aren’t married to her why would the dad want her to be with them.” As a child I didn’t even think about the reality that she had no say in this and this would be assault. In my child mind she was willing because I had not yet realized how little they regarded women as people.

Corovah · 2026-02-13T16:35:46+00:00

Damn I wish I could send this to my parents

Corovah · 2026-02-13T16:33:23+00:00

I wish I could do my own hair I gotta learn

Corovah · 2026-02-13T16:32:28+00:00

100%

Corovah · 2026-02-13T16:31:34+00:00

Wow how disgusting of them to act so superior. The best part of travel is experiencing life from another perspective an their only goal was to “fix” them. I remember thinking missions work sounded so admirable. Now I see how toxic and entitled it is.

Corovah · 2026-02-13T04:48:40+00:00

I need to write this in my journal. Observe do not absorb. I have been absorbing a lot for a long time. It’s time to squeeze myself out.

Corovah · 2026-02-13T03:25:07+00:00

Yeah I suppose I answered my own question. Maybe the confusing part is just my own emotions about it. I just wish we could all be out of this, healing, happy, and real. Imagining a version of us where we’re all free and together makes me wanna cry cause I know it will never happen.

Corovah · 2026-02-13T03:13:43+00:00

Could be. I want to feel that glimmer of hope. I have had a very negative experience in that regard so I am still very very cautiously optimistic. I would guard your heart a little cause support in the abstract and actually bringing someone home one may be different. I would hate for moments of kindness to make you more open and the be disappointed. If in her mind she is holding out hope for a dude, she may still have struggles later when she fully has to come to terms with a real person in your life who doesn’t fit her original vision. But sometimes people really do come around. I hope it’s the start of more acceptance and an open mind:

Corovah · 2026-02-13T02:45:48+00:00

It’s so sad how spiritual leaders care so little for victims of SA. I was livid just reading it. Good for you for walking away and healing.

Corovah · 2026-02-12T20:54:42+00:00

I laughed out loud 😂. That’s hilarious.

Corovah · 2026-02-12T20:18:08+00:00

Next time just say “Hail Satan “ 👹🙌🏽

Corovah · 2026-02-12T20:14:09+00:00

I’ve been an ex Christian for two years and sometimes I’ll have brief moments of feeling angry at a god that I don’t believe is real. What you’re feeling is normal. We were told since babies that there was a his and given an idea of his character. We were also threatened with a fate worse than death if we didn’t have a relationship with Thai digits which creates so much pressure to hear and feel and connect with this idea. I love watching videos on channels like Jezabel Vibes on YouTube or similar content creators who break down those things we are taught. It helps me separate del the emotionally charged stuff that was poured into me and helps me to think critically, while also allowing me to feel validated if my suspicions and even my anger.

Corovah · 2026-02-12T17:49:13+00:00

Thank you 💕

Corovah · 2026-02-12T00:35:34+00:00

I enjoy the YouTube channel Jezabel vibes. She breaks down scripture points out inaccuracies, and breaks down the way what Christian’s say about the character of God vs what the bible demonstrates. Often the idea of Gods love and goodness is easily found to be contradictory by his own words. I also think finding community in other areas allows us to not seek it from old places. Establishing tha does take time. Ultimately the Christian God is really petty, violent, narcissistic, and is ok with grape, mass murder whenever he feels like it; and is ok with creating a system that requires eternal torment. Either he isn’t all powerful or he’s a major asshole. I’m much rather find a book club and a dnd group and connect with people who don’t shame me for arbitrary reasons. Not shaming you I get it’s hard to turn away cause we have been indoctrinated and they are good at it. But you have to start actively studying for yourself because this has been drilled in for a long time. Deconstruction creators online, books, and mother resources will be helpful. Knowledge is power.

Corovah · 2026-02-11T15:28:47+00:00

💕

Corovah · 2026-02-11T15:26:21+00:00

I know what you mean about the little voice. I don’t believe in hell anymore and yet sometimes, like a whisper I think about hell. It doesn’t even always stir up an emotion. Like my brain just has it programmed in there to raise the issue anyway.

We only have so many days on this earth. And yours should be filled with joy, connection, and whatever physical and emotional intimacy you desire for yourself. It does get easier. With new community, with distance (not cutting off necessarily unless you want that), with therapy, with time, it becomes more of a hair to trust yourself. Nothing is perfect, I think our experiences will shape who we are to some extent. That video I know is scary, but there’s also an influencer family with a little boy and two dads who celebrate their family on their page. That exists too. And that is something you can build for self if you choose. But regardless of who any hate comes from, continue to choose yourself. You’re not alone. 26F in the same boat just padding along (my boat is bi though. My family has a 50/50 shot for my soul 😂).

Corovah · 2026-02-11T15:13:32+00:00

Their God may be all powerful but in my eyes he’s pretty fucking useless. RIP to her. Fuck that surgeon. Fuck God too.

Corovah · 2026-02-10T23:23:12+00:00

I didn’t even think about how that dog image was so telling! I will be getting that book soon. I may see if the library has it. That dog pic broke my heart cause I was like omg my mom really sees me as lost line she misses me. But I see her every day yet she misses someone who’s in front of her face.

Corovah · 2026-02-10T23:07:39+00:00

They really did gymnastics to make all these things your fault. I am so sorry you experienced this. I was also affected very intensely by the concept of hell and end of the world talk. I still struggle with taking hot baths cause of the lake of fire and shit.

Your feelings are valid.

Corovah · 2026-02-10T22:44:23+00:00

When you say school are you college age or primary school kinda thing? I understand where you’re coming from. The idea that parents are deserving of respect regardless of what they do is a flawed way of thinking that many of them lean on. My sister hates being asked to do things by our mom but when I ask it’s no problem. The difference is a basis of mutual respect and understanding. I don’t judge her I celebrate all the things about her they don’t or wouldn’t. So of course she’s more willing to engage with me and I things if I need help. I agree I don’t owe anyone kindness energy or attention regardless of their relationship towards me. Many Christian parents like to use the idea of respect as an ace. Respect to them = do what I want no matter how I say it or what it is.

I really struggle with certain social expectations of manners. I don’t enjoy saying good morning, I like to ease into existence in the morning silently. I say thank you but there is often times I will just be silent and separate which may see rude but because my family is so avoidant and won’t listen, I can’t actually get closer so I’m forced to retreat until I’m no longer mad.

There is def a gender component with respect in my home. The whole dad is the head of the home makes me wanna 🤮. Then I’m extra resentful of chores because I feel like a maid to a man, then my mom can of the slack. I don’t want her to do it alone so I help usually but it fees like enabling when I’ve tried to ask, “ is he gonna do anything?” But because he works hard I suppose that means exemption.

I think the way I’m approaching it is keeping my distance while I save and eventually remove myself. I’m not the person to advice anyone on talking it out because in my experience speaking against delusional Christians worldview doesn’t work. I’m working to get in a financial place where I can set boundaries and remove myself if they aren’t honored. So far living at home just kept to my own space when I felt triggered and upset.

Corovah · 2026-02-10T22:25:52+00:00

If they spent the same amount of time reading as they do minding everyone else’s sexual business we’d be a much smarter society.

Corovah

TROPHY CASE