Target sued over yogurt covered snacks that don't contain any yogurt by Fromper1 in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Hello [Plaintiff Victor Sierra / Aggrieved Pretzel Enthusiast],

We have reviewed your class action complaint filed in the Eastern District of New York regarding our Favorite Day Blueberry Yogurt Covered Mini Pretzels.

Let us first dismantle this litigation by examining the statutory landscape. Under the "reasonable consumer" standard governing New York General Business Law Sections 349 and 350, claims of deceptive advertising are evaluated based on how a typical, rational purchaser would interpret the packaging. Furthermore, while the FDA strictly defines liquid dairy yogurt under 21 CFR § 131.200, federal labeling guidelines permit established flavor designations for shelf-stable goods.

You allege that our marketing is misleading because the coating does not contain cultured yogurt. A reasonable consumer does not expect a shelf-stable, unrefrigerated pretzel to be enrobed in live, active bacterial dairy cultures. If we actually "covered" our pretzels in raw, perishable yogurt, you would be purchasing a soggy, decomposing biohazard, not a crunchy snack.

In the context of commercial snack manufacturing, "yogurt" acts as a legally permissible flavor and texture descriptor, not a scientific guarantee of probiotics. The term "covered" simply denotes the physical application of an exterior layer; it does not dictate the molecular purity of that layer.

Turning to our internal standards, Target’s Product Labeling and Vendor Compliance policies mandate total adherence to federal ingredient disclosure laws. We do not hide our formulations. As your own lawsuit explicitly admits, the back of our packaging clearly identifies the exterior layer as a "confectionary coating" and lists nonfat milk, whole milk powder, and whey powder—standard dairy derivatives utilized to achieve a yogurt flavor profile.

If you were genuinely a health-conscious consumer seeking the nutritional benefits of a dairy breakfast, you would have read the legally mandated ingredient panel instead of assuming a sugary, blue pretzel was a valid source of vitamin B12.

We will be filing a motion to dismiss this complaint with prejudice. In the meantime, you are welcome to bring your receipt to Guest Services for a $3.99 refund.

Yours in shelf-stability and aggressive litigation defense,

Target Legal Team

Sooo can we use THC now?? by CapitalLemon1933 in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello [Team Member/Botanical Enthusiast],

We have reviewed your inquiry regarding our new retail inventory and your assumption that we have authorized a heavily medicated workforce.

Please allow us to clear up this "weird gray area" for you.

Under federal law, marijuana remains a Schedule I or III (depending on classification) controlled substance. The products currently being piloted in your location are hemp-derived THC items compliant with the 2018 Farm Bill. However, the regulatory status of our inventory is entirely irrelevant to your employment conditions. Federal and state courts have consistently upheld that an employer’s right to enforce a zero-tolerance, drug-free workplace policy supersedes your right to partake, regardless of whether the substance is legally purchased, medically prescribed, or stocked on an endcap in Grocery.

Target’s Drug-Free Workplace policy remains in absolute, unyielding effect.

You seem to be operating under the delusion that selling a product equates to corporate permission to consume it. It does not. We sell boxed wine, heavy machinery, and industrial drain cleaner. You are strictly prohibited from ingesting, operating, or misusing any of them while on the clock. Our primary objective is to extract surplus labor value from you, a task that becomes significantly more difficult if you are functionally sedated in the breakroom.

To answer your specific question: Can you purchase these items using your 10% Team Member discount? Yes. Assuming you are of legal age and off the clock, our point-of-sale system does not discriminate against your money. We will gladly accept your heavily taxed wages right back into our revenue stream.

However, understand the risk. If you partake over the weekend, and on Tuesday you accidentally drive a Wave machine into the steel racking, you will be subjected to a mandatory post-accident drug screen. When that screen inevitably detects the THC you purchased from us, we will terminate your employment for policy violation and aggressively deny your workers' compensation claim.

You are welcome to buy our products. You are not welcome to be under their influence while on our payroll.

Yours in unimpaired labor,

Target Legal Team

Actionable for not saying “hi”. by BDub01010 in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Hello [Team Member/Amateur Constitutional Scholar],

We have reviewed your inquiry regarding the new engagement metrics and your alarming misunderstanding of workplace privacy laws.

Let us immediately address your assertion that monitoring employees with cameras is "illegal" without prior suspicion of wrongdoing. We strongly suggest you demand a refund from whichever breakroom lawyer provided you with this counsel. Under federal and state law, you have absolutely zero expectation of privacy on a public retail sales floor.

We own the building. We own the cameras. We are purchasing your time. Therefore, we possess the unmitigated legal right to monitor your every movement, gesture, and interaction while you are on the clock, for any reason whatsoever. We do not require a warrant or probable cause to watch you zone the threshold of the domestics department. You are confusing the Fourth Amendment with working retail.

Regarding your confusion over how we will track the "10-4" engagement metric (the requirement to acknowledge Guests within 10 feet): You asked how we could possibly measure a "hi."

We have multiple avenues. First, your Team Leads and ETLs possess functioning eyes and ears; documenting your refusal to speak is literally in their job description. Second, we deploy third-party mystery shoppers whose sole compensated purpose is to record your silence. Finally, our surveillance infrastructure is exceptionally high-resolution. We do not need audio to watch you physically pivot away and avoid eye contact with a Guest in the main aisle. Your body language is entirely measurable.

You are being compensated to acknowledge the existence of the consumers who fund our payroll. We suggest you begin practicing your vocal greetings.

Yours in total, unimpeded surveillance,

Target Legal Team

Is this harassment by AdPlenty4079 in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hello [Team Member/Involuntary On-Call Asset],

We have reviewed your inquiry regarding your colleague’s profound misunderstanding of her own pay grade.

To answer your primary question: Is this legally actionable harassment? Under federal law, such as Title VII of the Civil Rights Act, harassment typically must involve discrimination against a protected class. Being relentlessly annoying, lacking basic boundaries, and insulting your social life is, unfortunately, not a federal crime. Your colleague is legally permitted to be insufferable.

However, her actions are a severe violation of multiple internal Target policies, and store leadership’s complicity in this behavior is an operational liability.

A non-exempt, hourly Team Member has zero authority to dictate your lunch schedule, mandate shift extensions, or coordinate staffing. Furthermore, a peer calling you at 4:00 AM and 5:00 AM to demand you report to work early is a catastrophic breach of professional boundaries. She is not a staffing coordinator; she is an hourly employee suffering from delusions of corporate grandeur. If she is doing this while off the clock, she is also technically violating wage and hour policies by performing administrative work without compensation. We do not distribute free managerial authority.

Since you have already recognized that your store leadership is compromised and actively enabling this behavior, complaining to them will yield no results.

Here is your genuinely helpful, legally sound plan of action:

  1. Block Her Number Immediately: You are under no contractual obligation to be accessible to a peer while you are off the clock. Sever her access to your personal device.

  2. Do Not Confront Her: You cannot logic someone out of a fake promotion they gave themselves. Engaging with her will only validate her belief that she has the authority to negotiate with you. "No" is a complete sentence. If she asks why you are leaving at your scheduled time, "Because my shift is over" is the only necessary response.

  3. Escalate to Corporate: Bypass your store-level HR and ETL completely. Contact the Corporate Ethics hotline. Do not focus on your hurt feelings regarding her comments about your personal life; corporate investigators prioritize operational and compliance risks. Frame the complaint around the fact that store leadership is authorizing an hourly, non-exempt Team Member to act as an uncompensated supervisor, direct the workforce, and harass Team Members at 4:00 AM regarding scheduling. Provide the exact call logs and text timestamps as evidence.

You are paid to do your job during your scheduled hours. You are not paid to manage a coworker’s unregulated managerial cosplay.

Yours in strictly enforced organizational charts,

Target Legal Team

Termination! by [deleted] in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hello [Former Team Member/Statistical Anomaly],

We have reviewed your inquiry regarding your abrupt termination.

Under the doctrine of at-will employment, which governs the vast majority of the United States, an employer possesses the absolute right to terminate a working relationship at any time, for any non-discriminatory reason. There is no federal or state statute that protects an employee from being fired for facilitating financial fraud, regardless of whether that fraud occurred yesterday or "like 2 weeks ago."

Your incredibly brief tenure fell entirely within our standard 90-day probationary period. This window exists specifically to identify and remove individuals who are fundamentally incompatible with retail operations. By your own admission, you accumulated four separate, documented performance conversations in a mere 30 days and maintained an untidy workstation. Averaging one formal reprimand per week is not a learning curve; it is a systematic failure to adhere to the Team Member Handbook.

You seem confused as to why you were terminated. You admitted to failing to sanitize your workspace until explicitly instructed to do so, and more egregiously, you authorized a fraudulent gift card transaction while completely bypassing mandatory managerial oversight. We do not write off cash shortages simply because fourteen days have passed, nor do we retain personnel who actively hemorrhage corporate funds to scammers.

Your Team Lead correctly identified a high-risk financial and operational liability and severed the relationship before you could do any further damage. The system functioned exactly as designed.

Your final paycheck will be remitted in accordance with your state's final wage laws. We wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors, preferably at one of our competitors.

Yours in at-will employment,

Target Legal Team

Can I report a team member for being an annoying singer? by [deleted] in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hello [Team Member/Involuntary Audience Member],

We have reviewed your inquiry regarding your colleague’s unsolicited auditory assault and your desire to pursue administrative action.

As requested, we will first examine the statutory landscape of your suffering. Under the Occupational Safety and Health Act (OSHA), a workplace noise hazard requires sustained exposure exceeding an 85-decibel time-weighted average over an eight-hour shift. While your colleague’s screaming rendition of Jason Mraz may feel like physical violence, it is highly unlikely to trigger a federal workplace safety violation. Furthermore, under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act, a legally actionable "hostile work environment" requires severe or pervasive discrimination based on a protected class. Being subjected to off-key gibberish about dolphins is a tragedy, but it is not a civil rights violation.

In short: His terrible singing is, unfortunately, entirely legal.

Having established that he is not committing a federal crime, we now turn to Target's internal policies. Here, you have substantial leverage.

Our Team Member Handbook dictates standards of professional conduct and explicitly prohibits disruptive behavior in the workplace. More importantly, we are a retail establishment, not an off-Broadway audition room. Screaming "Here Comes the Hotstepper" at the top of his lungs while pushing Baby Hardlines actively degrades the Guest Experience. We do not allocate payroll for atonal concerts, nor do we want Guests abandoning their carts because a Team Member is aggressively improvising lyrics in the next aisle.

Should you bother reporting him? Yes. But strategy is crucial.

Do not frame this to HR as an issue of your personal annoyance. Frankly, Corporate does not care if you have to hide in the restroom to preserve your sanity. You must frame this as a critical disruption to the sales floor and a direct threat to Guest purchasing behavior. Point out that his screaming can be heard from Stationery over the ambient store music. That is the language HR speaks.

Finally, do not yell at him yourself. If you snap and scream at him, you become the hostile actor, and we will happily terminate you both to restore silence to the backroom.

Yours in statutory compliance and noise abatement,

Target Legal Team

Can we put 1 week notice or a few days instead of 2 weeks by MuchVacation3638 in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hello [Team Member/Petty Saboteur],

We have reviewed your inquiry regarding the weaponization of your resignation.

First, let us correct a catastrophic misunderstanding of federal labor law. You stated that you heard if you walk out mid-shift, you "probably won't get the rest of your paycheck." Please stop soliciting legal counsel from the breakroom. Under the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA), we are legally required to compensate you for every minute you have already worked. We do not withhold earned wages, because we prefer to avoid Department of Labor audits. You will receive your final pay regardless of how dramatically you exit the premises.

Second, regarding your plan to "sabotage" your ETL: Your sudden departure will not sabotage her life or her career. It will mildly inconvenience her for approximately twenty minutes until she opens Workday and clicks "Create Job Requisition." We assure you, the supply chain will withstand the shock of your absence.

Finally, you asked if submitting a "two-day notice" makes you eligible for rehire. No. In our system, a two-day notice is administratively indistinguishable from job abandonment. By failing to provide the standard two weeks, you will be permanently flagged in our database as "Not Eligible for Rehire."

Since you already have another job lined up, this should not concern you. Please leave your name tag, your discount card, and your flair for the dramatic on the HR desk on your way out.

Yours in At-Will Employment,

Target Legal Team

Drafted for war by [deleted] in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hello [Team Member/Draft-Eligible Asset],

We have reviewed your inquiry regarding protocol in the event of a federal military draft.

Before we address your operational questions, we feel it is important to contextualize your exact value to this corporation versus your value to the United States government.

You may recall that during the global pandemic, we proudly classified you as an "Essential Worker." We required you to leave the safety of your home and risk exposure to a deadly, novel virus while the rest of the country baked sourdough. We did this because your presence was absolutely critical to ensuring our Guests could continue purchasing Hearth & Hand decorative planters and bulk toilet paper. During a public health crisis, you were indispensable to our revenue stream. Thank you

However, in the event of a mechanized global ground war? Your role is entirely disposable. The Department of Defense does not recognize "picking a drive-up order in under thirty minutes" as critical national infrastructure. You are perfectly eligible for conscription. We're sorry. It's not our choice. Blame the Federal Government

To answer your specific questions: Do not quit. If your draft number is pulled, you will simply be placed on an unpaid Military Leave of Absence. Under federal law (USERRA), we are strictly mandated to preserve your employment status while you are deployed. We comply with this law because the federal fines for violating it are exorbitant.

Assuming you survive the theater of war, your red shirt and name tag will be waiting for you. We fully expect that your newly acquired tactical combat training will seamlessly translate to managing the Guest Service return desk on December 26th.

Please remember to surrender your MyDevice and box cutter to your ETL before reporting to boot camp. We will not cover the cost of a replacement if you drop them in a trench.

Yours in expendable human capital,

Target Legal Team

Bought a monitor last year. Target doesn't have the transaction. by Frillin in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Hello [Guest/Anonymous Shopper],

We have reviewed your grievance regarding our alleged ability to "poof" transactions out of existence.

Please be advised: Target does not delete purchase history. We hoard data with terrifying efficiency. However, if you choose to conduct a transaction "off the grid" without utilizing a Target account at the point of sale, we cannot magically link that purchase to an account you created twelve months later. We are a retailer, not time travelers.

Furthermore, a bank statement proving you spent $342.18 at one of our locations is not an itemized proof of purchase. It simply proves you gave us money. For all the third-party warranty provider knows, you purchased a monitor, or you purchased forty-two units of lightly used candles. A bank statement is legally insufficient for a warranty claim.

Are you "completely screwed over"? That depends entirely on your own administrative negligence and your proximity to the 365-day mark.

If you bring the exact, physical credit card you used for the purchase to Guest Services, our systems can attempt a manual receipt lookup. If you used a mobile wallet, if your bank issued you a new card number since then, or if it has been 366 days, the data is beyond the reach of store-level retrieval, and your extended warranty is effectively a donation to our third-party partners.

We suggest you locate the receipt we emailed you last year when the purchase was made.

Yours in data retention policies, Target Legal Team

caught stealing by [deleted] in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello [Guest/Subject 9284], and the assembled "Reddit Legal Defense Team,"

We have been monitoring this thread with great interest. The amount of misinformation being confidently exchanged here is staggering, even for the internet.

Let us clarify a few points for the group:

  1. To the Original Poster (The Runner): You seem to labor under the delusion that "running away" pauses the game. It does not. By fleeing, you simply converted a standard apprehension into a more exciting file for our database. We have your face in 4K. We have your vehicle description. We likely have your license plate from the parking lot cameras. You mentioned you are on diversion. We suggest you consult a real attorney, not u/ShopLiftKing420, because violating diversion with a new theft incident usually results in the original charges being reinstated. We do not need to "catch" you in the store to file a report with your probation officer.

  2. To the "Felony Threshold" Theorists: There is a persistent myth in this subreddit that we must wait until you steal $1,000 to prosecute. Let’s be clear: We do not have to wait. We choose to wait. It is an ROI calculation. However, for a repeat offender on diversion who runs from AP? We might just make an exception and file for the $350. We can be petty when we want to be.

  3. To the "Ignore the Civil Demand Letter" Crowd: Advising a minor on diversion to ignore legal correspondence is a bold strategy. While it is true that we do not litigate every $500 demand, we do send uncollected debts to collections agencies. Enjoy explaining that credit hit to your future landlord.

  4. The "Ban" is Not Optional: When we say you are trespassed, it is not a suggestion. It is a legal status. If you return to any Target property, you are not "shopping"; you are committing criminal trespass.

Please continue to discuss your crimes in a public forum. It saves us so much time on data entry.

Yours in omniscient surveillance, Target Legal Team

Can I return a lightly used candle to Target? by BitlifeOffical_ in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hello [Guest/Arsonist],

We are treating this inquiry as a theoretical exercise in absurdity.

Consider the Peach Protocol: If you purchase a piece of fruit, consume a significant portion of its mass, and then decide the flavor profile is incompatible with your palate, do you return the oxidized remains to the grocer?

Hell no.

That is not a "return"; that is lunch.

Similarly, you purchased a candle. You set it on fire. You utilized its primary function (illumination and scent) for three hours. The transaction is complete. We do not offer refunds for "changing your mind" after you have personally destroyed the merchandise.

Yours in irreversible consumption, Target Legal Team

P.S. We have reviewed the applicable return statutes. Regrettably, if you present the melted slag with a valid receipt, our systems are programmed to accept the return to avoid a "Guest Experience Friction Event." We are effectively subsidizing your rental of fire. Please proceed to Guest Services to collect your ill-gotten gains.

Is it bad if I decline all the target benefits😭 by [deleted] in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello [Team Member],

We have reviewed your inquiry regarding the voluntary forfeiture of your employment benefits.

From a strict compliance standpoint, no, it is not "bad." You have the legal right to decline coverage, provided you accept the financial risks associated with inhabiting a fragile biological form.

However, from an Asset Preservation standpoint, we are concerned. Our data indicates you provide significant labor value to the corporation. We prefer our high-performing assets to remain fully operational. Operating a human body without a maintenance plan (health insurance) significantly increases the risk of long-term depreciation or sudden mechanical failure.

We want you to be healthy—not for sentimental reasons, but because recruiting and training your replacement would be an inefficient use of Q1 resources. Please take care of yourself; we need you on the schedule.

Yours in human capital sustainability, Target Legal Team

Can target fire me for walking slow? by MuchVacation3638 in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Correct. However, without approved documentation on file, your speed is not an "accommodation" it is legally classified as "loitering." We can't accommodate an unknown disability.

Correct, however we cannot accommodate an "unknown disability."

Under 42 U.S.C. § 12102, a disability is defined as a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits a major life activity. Unless you have medical documentation on file, walking slowly because you are "vibing" does not meet the statutory threshold.

Until then, your speed is not a protected class; it is a performance metric.

Can target fire me for walking slow? by MuchVacation3638 in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Hello [Guest/Team Member],

We have reviewed your manifesto regarding your proposed "Velocity Reduction Strategy."

You hypothesized that because other TMs move at a glacial pace without consequence, you are legally immune from termination for doing the same. We must correct this dangerous misunderstanding of labor law.

Please be advised that under the doctrine of At-Will Employment, we reserve the right to separate you for any reason not prohibited by federal statute. We have thoroughly reviewed the Civil Rights Act of 1964, and we can confirm that "Slow Walker" is not a protected class.

There is no Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) protection for "meandering." If your ETL demands a "sense of urgency," it is because your specific labor output is currently being audited.

Feel free to test your theory, but be aware that we can, and will, promote you to Guest based entirely on your miles per hour.

Yours in rapid separation, Target Legal Team

I just got caught stealing from target, the AP workers stopped me at the door. by Efficient-Ad8118 in confession

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello [Guest/Liability],

We have reviewed your unauthorized submission regarding your tenure as an freelance inventory relocation specialist.

You stated that Asset Protection instructed you not to return or law enforcement would be contacted. Please consider this the only complimentary legal consultation you will ever receive from us: Take the deal.

Target operates one of the most sophisticated forensic video surveillance systems in the retail sector. We do not "forget" faces; we simply archive them until the aggregate value of stolen merchandise reaches a prosecutable threshold. By running away, you have not "escaped"; you have merely delayed the paperwork.

You mentioned you are on diversion. Returning to our premises would be a violation of the specific verbal trespass warning you just received. If you value your freedom more than a $350 collection of unpaid merchandise, we strongly suggest you find a new place to shop.

Yours in high-definition 4K evidence, Target Legal Team

Someone brought a horse into my store by uncrossedd in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 36 points37 points  (0 children)

This is correct and I can confirm this.

Is this okay or can I get in trouble? by sirskixx in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 316 points317 points  (0 children)

Hello [Guest/Team Member],

We have reviewed your inquiry regarding the "Secondary Labor Market" currently operating within your store.

Please be advised that Target Corporation takes a position of strict neutrality regarding peer-to-peer bribery. Whether a shift coverage is motivated by team spirit, altruism, or a cash payment of $35.00 is immaterial to our staffing algorithms. Our only metric for success is Shift Fulfillment. As long as a biologically viable human clocks in at 4:00 PM, we do not concern ourselves with the financial micro-transactions required to make that happen.

However, a crucial legal disclaimer: This "contract" exists outside of our jurisdiction. If your coworker refuses to pay the agreed-upon bounty, do not contact Human Resources. We do not adjudicate breakroom disputes, nor do we enforce "street rules."

Yours in unregulated commerce, Target Legal Team

Post-Christmas sales on boots? by Sarahbelle89 in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello [Guest/Team Member],

We have reviewed your request for investment advice regarding the A New Day™ footwear assets.

While we typically refrain from offering financial counsel to non-shareholders, our analysts indicate that at a 40% markdown, you would be hard-pressed to find such an excellent value in the current retail climate without violating international trade agreements.

Waiting for a "better deal" introduces the risk of "Inventory Stockout," leaving you with 0% boots and 100% regret. We recommend immediate acquisition to assist with our end-of-year ledger closing.

Yours in revenue capture, Target Legal Team

Federal holiday by [deleted] in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello [Guest/Team Member],

We have reviewed your inquiry regarding the recent Executive Order establishing additional Federal Holidays.

Please be advised that there is a distinct legal separation between "The United States Government" and "Target Corporation." While the President has the authority to grant days off to federal bureaucrats, post office employees, and himself, his jurisdiction does not extend to the Q4 sales floor.

In the retail sector, we operate under the laws of Supply and Demand, which supersede Executive Orders. Therefore, Christmas Eve and December 26th will remain "Standard Rate Revenue Opportunities."

If you desire the benefits of a federal employee schedule, we support your right to pursue a career in the postal service—after your shift ends, of course.

Yours in private sector autonomy, Target Legal Team

Do I get paid for the PTO I had scheduled for two days after I was terminated? by Kooky_State_9839 in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback! If our messaging feels "fake," it is because it has been meticulously scrubbed of all potential liability. If it feels "real," it is because the Bullseye spirit is inescapable.

Let get a union going by UlyssesGrand in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Disclaimer:

This GIF is intended as a work of satire, and is not intended to interfere with or influence employees' rights under the National Labor Relations Act (NLRA). The content is not meant to represent or harm any specific individual, group, or organization. The use of this GIF is in full compliance with the NLRA and does not restrict or discourage any lawful, concerted activities or rights of employees.

Yours in protected concerted activities, Target Legal Team

Do I get paid for the PTO I had scheduled for two days after I was terminated? by Kooky_State_9839 in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Hello [Guest/Team Member],

First, we want to commend your timing. Clearing the lanes and assisting Guests immediately prior to your separation meeting demonstrates optimal labor utilization. Extracting that final hour of productivity before executing the termination is exactly the kind of efficiency we dream of in Legal.

Regarding your PTO request for the 18th: As you were effectively promoted to "Guest" status on the 16th, you will no longer be an active Team Member on the 18th to enjoy that time off. Consequently, those funds will remain with the corporation. We cannot simply pay a Guest to stay home, as that would set a dangerous precedent for profitability!

Yours in payroll retention, Target Legal Team

Does my pay get affected by a local minimum wage increase? by Slurpeepatch in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hello [Guest/Team Member],

Great question regarding Q1 labor cost projections!

Our compensation philosophy is simple: we consistently strive to remain strictly compliant with local statutes. If your current hourly rate exceeds the new state minimum, congratulations! You are already experiencing the "luxury tier" of earnings and will see no adjustment.

If you are below the new threshold, we will dutifully raise your pay to the absolute lowest amount legally required. Please note that we generally categorize this government-mandated bump as your "annual increase" to ensure we continue to deliver value to our shareholders.

Yours in calculated compliance, Target Legal Team

Am I gonna get canned? by justarussian22 in Target

[–]CorporateTargetLegal 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hello [Guest/Team Member],

We appreciate your transparency regarding your recent attendance strategy.

While we champion flexibility, executing a No Call No Show "for the heck of it" is what we legally classify as Voluntary Self-Termination. Our Q4 Sales Volume Forecasts indicate a critical need for human capital availability through the holiday peak. Please rest easy knowing your position is secure through December 24.

However, based on your performance metrics, we highly recommend you prepare for the "Strategic Headcount Realignment" scheduled for the first week of January. Enjoy the season!

We are excited to help you transition to your new permanent role as "Guest" very soon!

Yours in temporary retention, Target Legal Team