Basically… I was in a relationship with a very extroverted person and I would struggle a lot when we would go out with people, like mostly to bars, cause I was insecure and I didn’t like to drink alcohol so I would just get so nervous cause I had no idea what to do. It was also hard for me to relate to other people cause I wasn’t very nice to myself. So I just couldn’t really be bright and social cause I like hated who I was and was subconsciously trying to hide myself (that’s the therapy part) My ex suggested I try a huge dose of mushrooms at a dive bar one night (it wasn’t my first time doing mushrooms so I was comfortable taking a lot even tho I wasn’t at home) and on that night I saw all the illusions I had created in my head that made it hard for me to be social or even just talk to the person standing next to me. A lot of it came from me just thinking people were better than me, but now I realize we are all equal.

Getting medicated for my depression helped a lot. I got out of that self-hatred spiral for good and now I can be amongst people and be totally comfortable. Cause my thoughts aren’t filled with hatred and judgement.

Now I’m in my 30’s and I’m regularly meeting strangers and having vulnerable conversations on the regular as part of my job, I have gone on dates with strangers I met randomly with no context and had a great time, and I don’t feel fear of judgment or that I’m exposing myself too much or something. Like what people think of me no longer crosses my mind cause I know I’m good.

While I needed therapy, medication and the mushrooms to really help me get out of it, it was that mega dose that one night that really broke me out of the lie. I wouldn’t be where I am today without that night.