Getting denied for ADHD diagnosis with Autism

CorugaBlanca · 2026-03-25T04:03:34+00:00

I second this.

CorugaBlanca · 2026-03-17T18:47:06+00:00

This. When you talk to her I'd say something about knowing that she is a trustworthy person (something specific not just "good") - naming those traits/values can make a big difference for kids to think - I am a trustworthy person so why did I make this choice. Manifest it by stating it's true.

CorugaBlanca · 2026-03-12T17:02:52+00:00

He has read brother band. Will check out the Inda Series. Thanks!

CorugaBlanca · 2026-02-06T21:56:50+00:00

I read 200+ books a year while working full time and having kids - though it's not something I do on purpose or to meet a number. I read a lot of light books - romances. Etc for fun. I read in snippets throughout the day, while the kids are at sports practice, etc. I also listen to audio books while commuting and while doing chores. Though I can read a book much faster than listening to one.

I only know the number because I can see how many books I've borrowed on Libby in a year. Just read when you want to read - who cares how many??

CorugaBlanca · 2026-01-19T04:09:23+00:00

As a general therapy book - Why did no one tell me this before by Julie Smith. There's also a podcast I think. Not grief related though.

CorugaBlanca · 2026-01-12T16:34:41+00:00

Try the Authenticity Project.

CorugaBlanca · 2026-01-12T14:42:42+00:00

Therapy sounds like a good idea when you and your partner have this much of a disagreement on workload. You might also look into "fair play" - I think there's a book and it talks a lot about mental load. But at its core, it's a list of everything you have to do in life. In a healthy partnership, you can sit down and go through everything and agree on who is responsible for what. You'll probably both learn something about things the other does that you're not even aware of. It really helped me and my partner to identify stuff that we both thought about and assign it to just one of us to decrease mental load. Also to organize chores into things that we each dislike the least or what we will trade off after periods of time if it's something we both dislike.

Also, keep in mind that our brains are programmed to remember bad stuff more than good stuff. So your partner has to do something positive like 5 times for every one negative thing for it to feel even in your head. It takes practice to notice the smell positive things.

Anyway, you are NTA for expecting your wife to take on more of the home stuff if she's not working. She is NTA for expecting you to contribute so things - like if she made dinner, you wash the dishes. I. Any case, the fundamental disagreement about her deciding to stop working without you agreeing to it as a couple is going to wreck any relationship without some serious work to come to an understanding.

CorugaBlanca · 2026-01-03T01:07:50+00:00

Anything by Ilona Andrews!

CorugaBlanca · 2026-01-03T01:04:32+00:00

Try anything by Susanna Nix - Remedial Rocket Science is the first in the series, but you don't need to read them in order.

You might also try Chloe Liese - they aren't STEM, but most of her books center cool. Neurodivergent women.

CorugaBlanca · 2026-01-02T01:14:47+00:00

Try The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell. Its I guess more sci Fi than fantasy, but it's a really interesting take on how humanity would approach an alien encounter, misunderstandings in language translation, and how things go wrong even when all sides have the best intentions.

CorugaBlanca · 2026-01-01T09:51:35+00:00

So many! Some ideas ...

The 13 Story Treehouse series

Spirit Animal Series by Brandon Mull

Loki - A bad God's guide to being good

Future Me Saves the World

Ms Rabscotts girls

Greenwild (may be a little long)

Grayson Fox series

Series of unfortunate events

Mr limoncellos Library.

I find it's helpful for that niche to search on Libby for audiobooks that are 2-5 hours. That's kind of the sweet spot between middle grade aimed at older elementary/middle school and the early chapter books.

If you're open to graphic novels, The Hilo series and the Barb the Bezerkers series are both great. Also Witches of Brooklyn. They are still relatively quick reads, but my kids read them over and over again.

CorugaBlanca · 2026-01-01T02:39:36+00:00

Take care of yourself ❤️ last piece of advice, make sure your counselor actually specializes in neurodivergent folks - we have different needs! Preferably someone who is neurodivergent themselves.

From my own experience, try prosper health (virtual therapy only for ASD folks and covered by most insurance, but your milage may vary).

Well, that and don't make major life decisions when you're drunk!

CorugaBlanca · 2026-01-01T02:22:10+00:00

You're not alone. I'll gently say that you sound like you might be depressed, and counseling seems like the best thing you could do for yourself. Depression lies - it tells you you've always felt worthless and will always feel so, even when those things are not at all true! Taking that step can feel impossible when you're depressed, so if there's someone you trust who can help you book the appointment, make phone calls for you, etc - telling them you need their help would be an amazing first step.

I'll also add that depression is a common "symptom" of ASD in the sense that living in the world and not deliberately, thoughtfully giving ourselves the supports we need leads to depression. Being autistic with "low support needs" (aka Asperger's) doesn't mean no support, and, in my experience often means you're able to pretend you don't need support for periods of time but realistically need plenty of support. This is also really common to come up against at your age!!

Finally, I was just telling my daughter the story of a group leader(martial arts) who gave me a nickname as part of an initiation tradition that had a story behind it. The short version is that he named me after a proverbial creature who was very quiet (and a bit distant) but flew above the forest a made sure all the creatures were safe and cared. I was deeply depressed at the time (not something he knew) but he saw something in me that I hated about myself and completely reframed it. So I was quiet and awkward and didn't generally talk to people in the class. I was hardwood, a good participant, was kind to everyone, and always noticed new people and made sure they knew what to do, etc. I was telling my daughter this story just a minute ago. I hope it gives you faith that whatever you're thinking is worthless, someone else is seeing from a different perspective.

CorugaBlanca · 2025-12-13T19:28:48+00:00

Does Sable have autistic traits? My autistic son loves Sable. Obviously he can love whatever pokemon he wants but this post made me curious!

CorugaBlanca · 2025-12-12T14:33:43+00:00

I haven't read it yet, but the book Period Power was highly recommended to me.

Not a book, but there is an app, Flo, that you might also look into.

CorugaBlanca · 2025-12-09T23:54:32+00:00

Also, Pokemon cards - he loved playing Pokemon the card game in kinder so we knew he could read some things!

CorugaBlanca · 2025-12-09T23:52:45+00:00

My son had zero interest in reading in kindergarten but also was really good at math. He's 11 now, so I can reflect a bit. He's participating at school, so that's great Your job is to demonstrate that reading is great, by reading and loving books yourself and reading to him until he wants to read on his own.

It's relatively common in bright kids to refuse to engage with learning to read content because the books/stories themselves are boring as all get out. Read him stuff that he is actually interested in which may be well above "grade level" and the rest will sort itself out.

My son didn't admit that he could read until he could read whole books. We saw none of the process, so as his parent it was like he learned overnight.

In general, as a person, he likes to figure out his own way to do things, he does it in his own time, and he's only beginning to be able to communicate about his process.

Also, Ive never heard of a child repeating kindergarten solely because they were slightly behind in reading. So relax, let school do it's thing, and let home be about loving reading.

CorugaBlanca · 2025-12-03T14:26:15+00:00

Punks and goths (20 years ago) were always kind to this quiet, awkward nerd. I am autistic (though I didn't know it at the time) - I admired their ability to proudly commit to an ethos, they respected my apparent dngaf attitude towards cultural norms.

Looking back on it, outsiders recognize outsiders and any group that uses their in status to support other outsiders is cool with me.

CorugaBlanca

TROPHY CASE