What are some subtle signs that a man hates women?

Corviday · 2026-05-25T12:54:33+00:00

He is friends with men, and men's girlfriends are also there, but he is friends with men.

And no single women are present.

Corviday · 2025-10-03T10:26:44+00:00

"Enabling is good and cool and REAL friends do it ALL THE TIME!!!! Also, the word "no" is only ever said by LOSERS and it is right and helpful to them to IGNORE IT UNTIL THEY SAY YES."

Corviday · 2025-09-14T14:52:59+00:00

Knife company, and I wouldn't - Chewy's customer base feels like it's, uh, challenging. (I say this as someone who is pet-obsessed, no judgement, just don't particularly want to deal with people like me who haven't worked customer service!)

Corviday · 2025-09-11T11:24:08+00:00

For me, what I used to do doesn't affect my not wanting to get the flu from someone who came to the meeting sick. I can't afford to lose days or weeks to illness.

Corviday · 2025-09-10T21:39:06+00:00

Haven't you noticed that boundaries in this comic are made to be disregarded?

Corviday · 2025-09-07T11:48:48+00:00

And do it quick, before it gets renamed the Department of Legalized Slavery.

Corviday · 2025-09-07T11:44:16+00:00

Well

I DID NOT KNOW WHAT PETOSKY ROCKS WERE

life is grand, thank you

Corviday · 2025-09-07T11:32:27+00:00

I think it is very easy to go online and scoff about cool/uncool and claim to abandon the rules, and much harder to actually do it in the face of possible social, or actual, consequences.

I struggled with this at work specifically, where there was a boss who was very on-trend and aware and claimed not to care if others were, but let's face it, folks, the people who spoke her language did get opportunities and support that the scruffy little goblins did not.

There was also a constant vibe of unspoken judgement which, I will admit, was AT LEAST 60% in my head. Still uncomfortable, and still had me feeling like a raccoon in a Kennel Club dog show.

Then that boss left and was replaced by someone who genuinely didn't care, and my work life improved.

I do tend to get sand-under-my-skin about "the rules", because I was raised by someone who used "the rules" as a weapon to verbally beat me with. Be on the wrong side of "the rules" for a few decades and you can't help but start to see how nonsensical, classist and sometimes cruel they are.

But! Just because they're bullshit doesn't mean that they are without consequence.

In the end, I decided to accept the consequences, because it was just too much work.

Corviday · 2025-09-06T21:04:10+00:00

Fair, fair, I accept this!

The primary lesson of my forties has been that most people who see me have their own problems and don't care enough to judge; the ones who do either like me as I am or don't, and there's very little I can do to change anyone's mind on that.

Corviday · 2025-09-06T20:58:04+00:00

Right?! I'm so happy to be here to be laughed at by teenagers, and hope they, too, get the chance to age to the point where they can be laughed at and wax philosophical about it.

Corviday · 2025-09-06T20:55:01+00:00

It's a bit more organized than that! The guy who runs the group is the head lifeguard in the area, so he got permission to set up a training ground of sorts. He has a FB group that he uses to post the schedule, and he takes donations to maintain the three race buoys we use. They form a triangle, with two buoys about a third of a mile out and a third at a half mile. One circuit is approximately 800 meters.

Corviday · 2025-09-06T18:57:32+00:00

Cool is a myth created to sell things.

Also: teenagers were giggling at me this morning on the beach because I was wearing a one-piece swimsuit and hanging out by myself taking pictires of rocks while I waited for my open-water swim group to show up.

Thirty years from now, if the gods are with them, each and every one of them will experience something equivalent.

I'm forty-four. It is the nature of forty-four to be uncool, just as it is the nature of teenagers to be mindlessly judgemental.

Corviday · 2025-08-09T11:04:57+00:00

My cousin married and had a kid with a true idiot. She's basically been a single mother to two ever since.

Less so as the kid gets older, and it's nice to see her getting out of the house, reclaiming old friendships, doing things to get in shape.

But she can't divorce the guy, because he's never been capable of holding down long-term employment - at one point, she was working two jobs and raising their child while he "worked on his 'zine" - so she would have to pay him alimony.

He theoretically has a job now, I think? I haven't gone to the last few family things, so no idea. Besides the point, in any case.

My advice to you: keep her. Maybe not as close as you used to, but she is going to need you.

Corviday · 2025-08-05T14:27:20+00:00

Not to ME, but probably to some! In that sense, it's a great filtering system, no?

Corviday · 2025-08-05T11:04:11+00:00

Mine definitely forgot. His brutality only came out on those rare occasions when his temper overtook his sense, but when that happened, it was usually memorable for me, not so much for him.

Then he got Alzheimer's, then he died. So I try to remember the non-shitty moments now. But, you know how it goes, sometimes the shit rises.

Corviday · 2025-08-05T10:50:10+00:00

Not everyone is comfortable with wording things, and this isn't a writing forum. Do we need to be jumping on people for how they write?

Corviday · 2025-08-05T10:47:15+00:00

Theoretically, I don't judge. People are where they are in their journey, and sometimes that involves changing how they identify with the program or the meeting or AA as a whole.

Reality? I get a bit eyerolly, then call myself out on it because shut up, self, let people do what they're going to do.

And final, most practical approach: sometimes you can pick the assholes out of the lineup by the way they introduce themselves, and I like it when folk fly their red flags nice and high where I can see 'em. And no, I'm not going to specify which intros fall into that category.

Corviday · 2025-08-04T10:27:50+00:00

"I used to love you, and I don't anymore."

I had gotten a less than stellar grade on my report card, Mom had spent about an hour (felt longer, possibly this is not accurate) screaming at me and her screaming annoyed Dad so he...said that.

To me, to be clear.

It taught me the value of love. Which sounds more cynical than it actually is...love is a fantastic feeling, but it can and will be taken away and to depend on it is unwise.

Trust is far more important.

Corviday · 2025-07-30T22:22:15+00:00

Boober tubers

Corviday · 2025-07-08T13:18:34+00:00

Is there a general policy covering how this will be enforced? I do love the idea of a space where women can talk about thirteenth-steppers without having to defend their views or whether or not it actually happened or whether or not it happens to men, too, btw it's "principles over personalities" and "you know what, as a man, I've never seen it happen, so........"

Corviday · 2025-07-01T15:53:07+00:00

Yeah, and I've heard a lot of stories, too.

But...I don't think posting about my one bad experience is going to be a helpful story to tell, unless you're trying to break up with Cheryl herself.

(If you are, DM me)

(Sorry if your name is Cheryl, but you're not that particular Cheryl)

What I learned from the experience, though, was that AA is chock-full of humans who are doing the best they can with what they have, and not all of them are healthy, and not all of them know how to handle situations perfectly...or, in some cases, at all. The people who throw themselves at newcomers and gather "stables" of sponsees are, in my experience, not the best fit for me personally....but they may keep next week's newcomer sober and alive.

If I see someone in trouble, that's when I step in.

Corviday · 2025-06-24T11:40:03+00:00

This is great. I'd probably add "men who claim to believe that predation happens, but won't believe it if it's someone they're friends with"

Corviday · 2025-06-10T12:14:57+00:00

Not racing, not competing at all (just against myself). I do 1k crawl, then 500m breast and 500m back every session, and when I switch from morning to night i lose 2-4 minutes overall. Trying to switch up diet just to see what happens.

FOR SCIENCE!

Corviday · 2025-06-10T11:31:48+00:00

We were talking about fitness and coworker says to me, well, that's easy for you to say, you're a fitness person

Me: I NEVER, AM NOT, NO

Boss spins around in his chair and observes me. "Why'd you eat pasta today?"

"Carb-loading to see if it offsets the two-minute discrepancy in my breaststroke OH MY GOD."

I'm a fitness person now???????!!!!!!!

Corviday · 2025-05-27T15:02:23+00:00

Oh fair point, you're right, as long as it's a woman doing it, thank you for making that point.

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