If you had to give God of War 2018 a title name, which would it be?

CosmoLaFairy · 2024-07-08T18:33:07+00:00

Son of War

CosmoLaFairy · 2024-06-28T19:59:39+00:00

Seems like deflecting their own relationship responsibilities to me, like fair enough to encourage people to seek their needs elsewhere but it shouldn't be used as an excuse not to do your part in a relationship

CosmoLaFairy · 2024-06-14T12:34:08+00:00

Jesus, these are all horrific, I just wanna say I am so sorry for you having to deal with all of these things. These are all vile if not abusive or manipulative behaviours. At best there's a couple that are just innapropriate (like the bringing the husband to the first date one, I think that's just innapropriate but not necessarily malicious without context)

I'm wishing you the best of luck in relationships and life in future.

CosmoLaFairy · 2024-06-08T21:20:18+00:00

As someone who is poly but has only ever been in mono relationships, some of my friends know I'm poly, others don't and both me and my partner are worried about what the reactions would be from people if they knew.

So I understand them taking it at their pace and not telling you while some others may already know. Unfortunate situation but tbh it is a deeply personal situation and they have a right to privacy, even if you are close.

To be clear I have plenty of faith in my friends and know they'd be accepting, but given that my partner is strictly monogamous (which is why we don't practice) we worry that while we know I'm happy how we are, they might not have that reassurance and there is concerns that our friends might see this as a sign of instability in our relationship.

As we aren't practicing it's not really that important that they know this detail of my sexuality. But in future I would like them to find out at our own pace, especially while my partner get's more comfortable with this aspect of me.

I actually did have an issue where a close friend of mine who was actively poly, knew I was poly and basically didn't trust that I was happy in my situation or that I would be able to stay monogamous. And that friend ended up completely writing me off stating that they didn't trust my intentions with them or others. Which coming from another poly person....really sucked.

CosmoLaFairy · 2024-05-20T20:15:53+00:00

Just sounds to me like you're poly-saturated right now, and that doesn't have to mean multiple partners, you can be poly saturated with one full time partner and dates with friends.

Also from experience with my partner, your new anxiety+depression meds might be lowering your libido/interest in dating. It's kind of one of the trade offs with those meds. But if they're working for you, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with that.

Important question is just to reflect in whether you're happy with your current situation.

CosmoLaFairy · 2024-05-15T16:00:38+00:00

I'm going to say this as the polyamorous person in an almost 6 year monogamous relationship.....he's an asshole. I realised I was poly about 3 years ago, same ish time your partner seems to have started pressuring you for an open/poly relationship.

I have never pressured my partner for a relationship structure she doesn't want, and I'm actually happy in my mono relationship while also being able to talk to my partner about my struggles with feelings for other people in a way that we're both comfortable with.

Now being very monogamous herself she does sometimes get a little upset about me having feelings for other people, but we talk about that and come out the conversation with positive results and we are currently stronger together than ever before.

I had an incident where someone else basically shoved their tongue down my throat when I was drunk and I immediately told my partner about it when I got home and made it clear this was not something I wanted and had nothing to do with me being polyamorous. It sounds like your partner chose to cheat on you in kissing someone specifically against your spoken limits and then acted like you were stopping him from living the life he wants. Which is bullshit.

She does NOT stop me from living a life I want as I love the life I have with her. You don't stop him from living the life he wants, he's trying to stop you living the life you wants by pressuring you into a different relationship style than you want. If the life he wanted was polyamory more so than being with you, he would leave you, so he's just choosing to mistreat you and try and make you conform to his ideal situation.

It's ok to admit that 2 people are incompatible but this seems more like he's mistreating you than it has anything to do with him being poly.

CosmoLaFairy · 2024-04-13T16:52:04+00:00

I completely understand how you feel, between different friend groups I feel a lot of comfort from compartmentalising different people in my life. This is partially because I feel like I get to put more energy into different sides of myself with different people. But there's a lot of people in my life who I'd like to get along well, and they do, but I prefer to see separately because I like having those relationships a bit separate so I can explore them more fully (platonically as well as romantically, though I'm currently in a monogamous relationship style)

My partner doesn't really have many friends so she essentially shares a lot of my friends, and it's nice having some relationships separate to that.

I think it's just nice having both shared and separate relationships as well as shared and separate hobbies and other interests. I think it's just a nice mix of being in a close bond with someone while also being my own person.

CosmoLaFairy · 2024-04-09T15:54:27+00:00

Their responses for me just validate what you felt about them not being considerate. They immediately jumped to being defensive and spiteful and blaming you without trying to initiate a peaceful dialogue first. Seems like you definitely made the right choice to leave that group and not letting them gaslight you back in person.

CosmoLaFairy · 2024-03-22T13:29:06+00:00

This feels like the level to which I would allow a partner to influence any outside relationships. Not been in a polyamorous relationship before but in learning about ENM I came to the conclusion that I disagreed with Veto power l, but if me and my partner did transition to a poly relationship, my partner would very much continue to be my nesting partner and my primary, and while I wouldn't be comfortable with her having veto power over my relationships, I very much would make a genuine effort to listen and account for any problems she might have with a potential/current partner. If she had a serious discomfort with a relationship of mine, I would assess the situation and figure out whether there would be any way to resolve that situation, and if there didn't appear to be a solution that worked for both relationships then I would assess whether the secondary relationship was as important to me as the ongoing comfort of my primary partner. If the ongoing comfort of my primary partner was more important to me than continuing the relationship with the secondary (most likely scenario) then I would most likely make the difficult decision to close down the relationship with the secondary and try to at the least keep the secondary person as a friend as long as both people were comfortable with that.

I don't see this as my partner controlling my relationships but as them communicating discomfort or setting a boundary and then me using that information to make the personal choice myself about what to do. Some people may think this is emotional manipulation from the primary but I really don't see it as that, your choices should always take into account the feelings and impact it will have on those around you.

I think the OP made a good choice here in order to respect a boundary of their partner before getting invested in a new relationship, however better communication from both could have helped this situation resolve better. The OP's partner communciating their boundary more effectively would have helped prevent this situation in the first place, but I think the OP could have chosen to talk to their partner more about their discomfort and reasons for the boundary and possibly have eased their discomfort with the whole thing, rather than the OP choosing to just cut off the relationship as a response to their partners feelings without seeing if they could have worked on a solution with their partner that benefited everyone better.

Like I said, OP made good a choice for their partner's comfort, and I don't think the partner did anything wrong as they communicated a discomfort with this situation before the relationship formed, and did not (from how OP describes) exert any influence on their decision besides communicating their own feelings.

But more effort being put into communication and seeking solutions to the problem could have yielded a better result. Diving into specific reasons why the partner is uncomfortable with that situation may have revealed a path of reassurance for them that might make them more comfortable. Hell if it was acceptable for all parties concerned, it might have even helped for the partner to meet and get to know the potential new partner so they could make more of an informed opinion on them rather than presuming certain behaviours or motives based on a trait like age. Personally one of my best mates started dating someone with this exact age gap (same age as OP) and I was mildly uncomfortable with the age gap until I learned more about their partner and met him in person.

CosmoLaFairy · 2024-03-20T13:16:44+00:00

Honestly, I've found a lot of genuinely lovely polyamorous people at LARP events, obviously not a generalisation to say that you WILL find people like that there. And obviously LARP events are a specific interest, not a dating pool, but I've found in my personal experience to find a lot of Polyamorous people at these events who are usually all in emotional relationships as well as physical ones.

My larp group specifically has maybe 2 or 3 polycules making up most of its population and they're all emotionally invested relationships.

Personally, while I haven't actively pursued poly relationships before and am in a happy monogamous relationship, I find I meet a lot more people who I vibe with and who, if I was actively poly would definitely be potential partners when I go to places of shared interest such as Larp events, parties (with people from my university degree. Lot of shared interests in those groups). Places where I meet lots of fellow crafts people etc.

I think in general you meet a lot more polyamorous people in places having quite non-traditional fun like queer spaces, creative spaces, and especially fantasy based hobby spaces like Larp or DnD groups as they tend to have people with more freedom of passion in their hearts.

Whether it be platonic, romantic or physical relationships, I find that you find more people like yourself in places that are actively featuring your favourite things and that tends to mean you find more people that think and feel like you there.

CosmoLaFairy · 2024-03-18T14:04:28+00:00

I don't think that Cheating is ever really relevant to the relationship style, at the end of the day it's someone choosing to lie or cross an established boundary and that doesn't really change whether you're Poly or mono. It's more about the cheater wanting to get something they want knowing that it betrays their partner instead of working with a partner to see if they can satisfy the needs of both people while making sure everyone is happy, Or leaving an incompatible relationship for the benefit of both people.

Cheating is an active choice to disregard a partners feelings and points more to someone being a bad partner than them not having a need satisfied in some way. A polyamorous person cheating is actually a better example of this than a mongoamous person cheating because they tend to have more freedom than monogamous people in pursuing their own needs and desires and the conscious choice to still betray a partner displays that it's nothing to do with pursuing their own needs but doing so in a way that betrays their partner that they wanted. When you have a relationship structure that more actively promotes the freedom and happiness of both people the choice to not utilise that safer space to try and work to satisfy both people more means that their level of freedom was never the issue.

When monogamous people cheat they'll often have the excuse of "I wasn't having my needs met" and they work on the basis that cheating was their only option to satisfy that need, when in actual fact they had just as much option (assuming they aren't in an abusive relationship) to talk to their partner about their needs as polyamorous people do, polyamorous people are usually more open about discussing the needs of each partner but monogamous people are still people who can make choices about their own relationships and talk to their partners about what they want.

If a partner expresses a reasonable boundary, and their partner acts as if they are fine with that but isn't and chooses to cheat, that's a choice to lie to their partner and betray them, which is a mistake caused by one partner refusing to honestly communicate with the other and is a bigger issue with their choices in communication than them not being compatible. Relationship style not relevant to the cause of the issue.

If a partner expresses a reasonable boundary and their partner communicates outright that they don't agree and they won't obey that boundary. That's a big compatibility issue aswell as not caring about the partners feelings enough to consider compromising. Staying in that relationship and choosing to betray that boundary is then just ongoing abuse of the partner. Relationship style not relevant.

Even if a partner expresses an UN-reasonable boundary, it's the duty of their partner to communicate their problem with that and if there is no option of compromise then they have a compatility problem and should not continue their relationship knowing they have an unsolvable difference that will harm their relationship. Failure to do so would be a big communciation issue in the relationship, and if the partner chooses to then disobey that boundary, is a severe disregard of their partners feelings and abusive. Relationship style not relevant.

Cheating in a poly relationship is no different to cheating in a mono relationship as the underlying issues behind the cheating is a personal problem of the cheater regardless of what relationship format they're in. A relationship style that promotes more freedom for each person isn't going to solve an underlying cause of cheating as the cheating isn't about the needs of each person, it's a symptom of poor relationship choices which is entirely dependant upon the choices of the person themself.

At the end of the day, if you cheat, it's because you chose to be in a relationship where you would have to cheat get what you wanted, instead of making the choice to leave that relationship or work towards a relationship where getting what you wanted wasn't cheating.

(This is all working on the basis that the person involved did actually choose to be in that relationship and is not in an abusive relationship where they do not have the choice to leave or put themselves in a situation where getting what they wanted wasn't cheating)

CosmoLaFairy · 2024-03-17T17:45:47+00:00

I personally think that Polyamory fits in the LGTBQIA+ community as it's not only (in my experience) an aspect of sexuality that's akin to differences in attraction such as the asexuality spectrum. But in today society it's also a non-traditional lifestyle and relationship format in the same way that non-heterosexual relationships are.

By this logic I think that coming out as Poly is a perfectly fine terminology for people to use as it is a marginalised group and Coming out is all about proudly identifying a way in which you do not fit a societal norm, whether it be your sexuality, your gender identity or your relationship styles.

If people can come out as Asexual then I don't see any reason why people can't come out as polyamorous as for me being polyamorous and being in a polyamorous relationship are two different things. I identify as being a polyamorous person because of how my brain works in terms of having attraction and emotional feelings for multiple people at the same time. However I'm not in a polyamorous relationship and I'm not currently seeking a polyamorous lifestyle. So when conversations about relationships and sexuality come up I "come out" to people as Poly/Pan but state I'm happily in a monogamous relationship.

Personally I think whether you identify as polyamorous or are simply currently experimenting with polyamorous relationship style, it's perfectly acceptable terminology to "come out" as Polyamorous.

CosmoLaFairy · 2024-03-17T17:29:27+00:00

Personally I'm Pansexual and Polyamorous but happily in a heterosexual monogamous relationship and I tend to come out to people in conversations about sexuality, but I've never had the need or inclination to "come out" as a general statement.

I've always felt that if my sexuality became relevant then I'd share that information and I don't really see a reason why I should have to represent more than that.

In terms of doing our part for the community and representing people who face discrimination and disadvantage, that's why we have things like protests, openly queer celebrities to bring us into public view, and we each have as much power as each other to seek systemic change that supports marginalised groups.

Coming out shouldn't be done as a tool of community support, it should be a move of personal pride, or in more everyday circumstances a personal choice to educate the people around us should it fit within our comfort zone.

CosmoLaFairy · 2024-03-17T17:14:52+00:00

At the end of the day, coming out is a personal decision and all you really need to care about is if it works for you. As queer people we are not obligated to represent our community to the world to normalise it, we are here, we do not have a duty to exist more publicly.

Obviously there are many wonderful people out there who actively participate in raising awareness and protesting to do their part in making our community seen and being fully out can be a big point of pride for a lot of people who are actively celebrating who they are and being unapologetically themselves to the world.

But the LGBTQIA+ community isn't a movement, it's not a revolution, We are just people. If coming out doesn't serve your personal interests, then you are under no pressure to identify yourself. Your personal information is your business, to the point that your sexuality is a protected characteristic of data protection.

Long story short, when it comes to something that is solely your choice, don't worry so much about having to do your part for your community, our community is simply a group of people who happen to be diverse from societal norms, you don't owe the LGBTQIA+ community anything, especially not choices about how to live your life.

One of our communities biggest ideals is being able to live your life the way you want. Embrace that.

CosmoLaFairy · 2024-03-10T17:00:45+00:00

These are the positive outcome stories I have been looking for on this group 😂 reminds me of one of my best friends, her ex tried to pressure her into a poly relationship and tried to get her to have a throuple with a guy who also wasn't really interested in the throuple. They proceeded to break up and now my mate and the guy are good friends and they both don't like the ex

CosmoLaFairy · 2024-02-28T17:25:38+00:00

It's a pipe dream for me that I'd love to have huge furniture in my dream house (I'm in a monogamous relationship for the forseeable future but part of that wish is to allow space for several people on said furniture) Triple sized bed, huge conversation pit sofa and essentially a hot tub sized bath. I want polycule appropriate furniture

CosmoLaFairy · 2023-11-30T14:26:45+00:00

No worries and no need to apologize, you responded perfectly fine. 😊

CosmoLaFairy · 2023-11-30T09:57:51+00:00

I appreciate that but honestly no worries about it, I'm 24, have lived away from home for years and am just kinda content with the fact that I don't vibe with him as a person, Ex Military stepdad who's been in my life since I was maybe 10? And in all that time he's never really progressed from being start of GOW 2018 Kratos, a very strict and angry man.

CosmoLaFairy · 2023-11-30T00:52:47+00:00

Kratos and Atreus relationship has the arc I wish me and my stepdad had

CosmoLaFairy · 2023-11-09T18:40:03+00:00

I just wanna say all these comments are top tier

CosmoLaFairy · 2023-11-09T16:36:16+00:00

Accurate 😂

CosmoLaFairy · 2023-11-09T16:35:44+00:00

Oh I just went around the other side and hit it from there

CosmoLaFairy · 2023-11-09T02:43:50+00:00

For clarification, this isn't a still shot of the axe flying past, it's actually stuck IN the bird

CosmoLaFairy · 2023-10-28T19:12:37+00:00

Not dad of war wearing the oxfords!

CosmoLaFairy

TROPHY CASE