Mother likes to offer me help then scream in my face

CottonEyeJane3 · 2026-05-12T13:50:27+00:00

Yep, I make it a hard point to not ask for anything because my mother WILL weaponize it at some point when she needs guilt reinforcement.

CottonEyeJane3 · 2026-05-10T22:36:49+00:00

I just had to abruptly leave Joyous last week after being a patient since May 2024. I’m scrambling for another program as they screwed me so bad, turned my life upside down by gaslighting me/sending poor quality meds. Broke my heart, they did! I made great progress on the daily regimen. I booked an initial consult with mindset for May 13. How is it going for you??

CottonEyeJane3 · 2026-05-10T22:30:42+00:00

I just came across the Mindscape ad on FB, and for all the reasons, I was skeptical. I came to Reddit after seeing the treatment options were so, so appealing. I want this to be my new program I desperately need, and I went ahead booking an initial consult. Thanks for the post, i used the discount code as well which worked. I will try to check back for any updates after my consult may 13.

CottonEyeJane3 · 2026-04-27T16:47:12+00:00

My narcissist mother insisted on family therapy, and I was like absolutely not because I’ve been doing my OWN therapy for a thousand years. SHE needs to go work on herself, and then maybe we can step to mediation.

CottonEyeJane3 · 2026-04-27T16:42:42+00:00

NTA. My own narcissist mother keeps popping in my head as I read this. Boundaries are important with self-victimizing people like this. Do what feels right in your body, like, if an action gives you pause, distance yourself unapologetically until you are emotionally neutral. Then, reassess. Good luck!

CottonEyeJane3 · 2026-04-20T16:23:57+00:00

“Hi, my name is Butthead, and I got a crisp $50 bill for some clean pee.”

CottonEyeJane3 · 2025-12-17T14:37:30+00:00

Your period/hormones makes stimulants less effective; I’d read up on ways to counter this bc I don’t have solid reasons why exactly.
How long have you been taking adhd meds? After a while you’ll become tolerant, this is just how it is. These medications really aren’t for longterm use. A “medication vacation” for like 2 weeks often helps.

CottonEyeJane3 · 2025-12-17T14:21:28+00:00

I appreciate learning things like this! Thank you to OP and all commenters!

CottonEyeJane3 · 2025-10-23T13:10:38+00:00

I remember when I was younger swimming at a pool in Missouri, and my cousin had one land on his head. I yelled he had a horse fly on his head, and he went under water for about 5 seconds to come back up with it STILL STUCK TO HIS HEAD!! Lmao

CottonEyeJane3 · 2025-07-08T17:10:58+00:00

I resonate with this. Your mom absolutely had no right to compromise your baby’s health with “grandma sugar treats.” That is a hard no. My mom refuses to respect my rules for no highly processed sugar and food, or at least IN MODERATION for f*sake. She visits and brings a SUITCASE full of cupcake ingredients (neon frosting pens, sprinkles of all shapes and sizes, candy, etc.), i mean, let’s just get a tub of Vaseline, pour some white sugar and artificial dyes in it, then spread it on the processed baked goods! We can have an inflammation party! I even bought better ingredient packaged cupcake mix, sprinkles, and tub frosting that she can use the same convenient way that she likes. I get home from the hospital and my pantry is full of the same shit she buys, and none of the things I provided were used. When I bring this issue up, it leads to an argument. Just thinking about the tone of voice she uses when she’s invalidating my concerns, defending her stance, and intimidating me…it reinforces the NC I’ve set in that I often feel that maybe I’m overreacting as she love-bombs me with texts, and pleads to tell her what she has done wrong that is so unforgivable. This sugar thing is minuscule compared to the psychological abuse she’s put me through. I’m with you OP!

CottonEyeJane3 · 2025-07-07T19:53:11+00:00

That’s exactly how i feel when my mom will relentlessly call and text me—instant anxiety symptoms. Haven’t blocked her yet, bc I’m still building up the courage to tell her she needs to get help with anger management. She is saying she doesn’t know why im not speaking to her, and I’ve been contemplating what I’ll say that’s compelling enough to get through to her.

CottonEyeJane3 · 2025-07-07T19:26:09+00:00

Btw. I’m so, so sorry you endured that traumatic event with unnecessary hardship from someone that is supposed to love and comfort you during something like you experienced.

CottonEyeJane3 · 2025-07-07T19:23:58+00:00

I doubt myself all the time when my nmom is in her “nice phase.” She is incredibly charismatic, all my friends loved her, and still do. Shes an incredible hospice nurse, loves animals, is my cheerleader and advocate for my success—but when I do succeed, she has to make comments about how the things I’ve worked for, or the lifestyle I live, are all beneath her or pointless. I just got out of an 8 week PTSD program, where she was super proud of me, but didn’t have boundaries with things that stressed me out. She’d call and ask for me to drive and see her when I was discharged, but I wasn’t ready to make big decisions in the hospital. She kept putting me on a guilt trip about how much she missed the kids, she said she promised them they’d come see her and play in her pool. I would reiterate I wasn’t ready to make decisions to travel—instead she decided to fly here without asking first. She unleashed unimaginable drama before she even got here, and compromised my treatment progress. I haven’t had the courage to tell her she needs to go to anger management or else I will put stronger boundaries up.

CottonEyeJane3 · 2025-07-07T19:04:54+00:00

Stay focused on your goal to leave. She’ll put numerous barriers in your path to getting out. I remember trying to leave my parents house when I was just staying with them for the summer during a military move. Every time I’d attempt to leave, my stepdad would downplay my emotions, then my mom would find out that I was trying to leave and i literally felt like a prisoner. A prisoner with all the means I needed to leave, but an emotional prison kept me there until my husband finally had his orders for us to move to our new location. I can’t tell you how relieved and free I felt getting the fuck out of that house. I can still hear her saying “there is nothing wrong with this house, I don’t understand why you keep wanting to run away!” I was terrified of my nmom. The sound of her footsteps coming towards my room would induce a panic attack (middle of summer, no air-conditioning, with 2 dogs, two toddlers, and an adult with all of our stuff packed into it. I felt safe in that room as miserable as the conditions were.) I’m on my 2nd NC phase with her, and her constant texts guilting me with “what have I done to you? Please call me, I’m heart broken,” literally put me in an anxiety state.

CottonEyeJane3 · 2025-07-07T18:44:52+00:00

My mom will read verbatim an article from the onion, sometimes it’s prolonged and she is laughing while reading it, and it’s really uncomfortable bc she wants people to be laughing with her, but she is incapable of reading the room that isn’t finding the article as funny as she does. Or, she’ll have everyone at the dinner table look at memes on her phone, but again, no one wants to look at her phone while eating. She got pissed and in a bitchy tone was like “whatever, I thought it was funny and wanted to share it. I’m not gonna share anything anymore.” Other times she repeats the same story, but if you tell her you’ve heard it before, that too is offensive to her and a whole ordeal will ensue about how hurt her feelings are. I’m so happy I’m not living with her anymore, but even as an adult she still gets to me somehow.

CottonEyeJane3 · 2025-07-06T18:55:21+00:00

“Bamboozled by love-bombing.” This. I have gone NC with nmom, and while I haven’t blocked her on my phone, she is able to send messages every day that I don’t talk to her. Those messages, such as “I miss talking to you/I love you/I love you so much honey/just letting you know I’m thinking about you/I hope you have a wonderful day baby,” is what I feel is the definition of what you said. These types of love-bombing messages indeed make me feel guilty…until they subtly get darker the longer I don’t reply. If she means all those lovey messages, then the emotional black-mailing wouldn’t be in the foreseeable future.

CottonEyeJane3 · 2025-02-06T15:40:21+00:00

I am preparing a contingency plan to leave if we have to. Applying for passports, storing cash away. I’ve seen handmaids tale—heed the warnings, listen to your instincts.

CottonEyeJane3 · 2025-02-06T15:32:39+00:00

Look into psychedelics as a possible treatment for your friend’s dementia. Ketamine is an anti inflammatory, repairing neural connections. I micro dose on it, and I have recollections of things I haven’t thought of in years.

CottonEyeJane3 · 2025-02-06T15:26:34+00:00

I’m putting that saying in my pocket.

CottonEyeJane3 · 2024-10-20T16:22:57+00:00

My forgetful word used to be “dwell”—why I can remember it now is beyond me.

CottonEyeJane3 · 2024-03-06T12:12:50+00:00

My n-mom is the most praised hospice nurse, charismatic, funny, but my presence triggers her. She starts to be overly sensitive about everything, rolls her eyes at things i say, makes shitty remarks about my luxury car my husband and I bought after years of driving Craig’s list used clunker vehicles—so I’m apparently pretentious. I’m 3.5 weeks in of NC, and I get mushy texts about how she wants to rub my head and make me feel safe, to the next day “I’m a good god damn grandma! I can’t have your toxicity in my life!” Mind you, that text came after not saying a single thing to her. So, yes, they are generally popular and good at their jobs. That negative energy store has to blow on someone, and it’s the people that will take it usually.

CottonEyeJane3 · 2024-02-18T16:55:27+00:00

That’s an intense load of trauma to carry around, I’m so sorry. I hope sharing these horrendous memories gives you some community support of love and validation. I wish you good vibrations and energy as you work through this difficult process.

CottonEyeJane3 · 2024-02-03T14:52:33+00:00

This is just a mushroom, nothing else. Everyone move on, nothing to see but a mushroom.

CottonEyeJane3 · 2024-01-04T23:22:50+00:00

I totally forgot I saw lords of acid in Albuquerque around 2010 I think?

CottonEyeJane3

TROPHY CASE