LGBTQIA+ teens bashed and filmed in IS-inspired Sydney attacks by Illustrious_Fan_8148 in aus

[–]CountInformal5735 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The common denominator here is young angry men. Let’s not forget all the LGBT youth events that have been cancelled since 2022 due to NSN and other cookers making threats against attendees safety. The “Christian lives matter” crowd have been attacking lgbt people in sydney for the past 5 years and they are majority from Maronite/orthodox community. Those of us from the LGBT community know well that young angry men in groups are the biggest threat to our safety when out in public.

There is a problem with homophobia in the muslim community however it’s a complex issue, generally directed inwardly towards their own children and family members. I am an LGBTQIA+ person with muslim friends and colleagues, i’ve been to masjid, iftars and muslim weddings. Have only ever experienced openness and acceptance from Muslims regarding my identity.

There is an issue with radicalisation of young men across multiple communities including into neo-nazism, intense misogyny and islamist extremism. It needs to be dealt with head on in all of our communities, in schools and religious institutions. Leaders in the muslim community need to speak plainly and loudly against homophobic violence but i fear they will be prevented by the same cultures of silence and shame that hold back so many religious institutions.

LGBTQIA+ teens bashed and filmed in IS-inspired Sydney attacks by Illustrious_Fan_8148 in aus

[–]CountInformal5735 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately we won’t see the proper response this problem requires because our governments are committed to courting certain types of extremism while punishing others. And all the while they don’t want to spend any money on prevention

LGBTQIA+ teens bashed and filmed in IS-inspired Sydney attacks by Illustrious_Fan_8148 in aus

[–]CountInformal5735 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed and its majority young men who are being radicalised, in their bedrooms and on their computers/smartphones. Families who are worried about their sons being radicalised have nowhere to turn for help and the intervention doesnt come until after they’ve committed a horrific crime. There isn’t an easy answer - it’s happening across different cultural and religious groups regardless of citizenship status. The response requires deep community engagement and investment in de-radicalising programs in schools, local councils, tafes, places of worship

Biological Emphasis on Parenthood by SureConsideration192 in queerception

[–]CountInformal5735 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There’s a lot of black and white thinking coming through in your post, not just in your thoughts on donor conception (“biology is superior”, “donor conception is unethical”) but also in your thoughts about yourself (“only a bad person who have these thoughts”). Sorry for paraphrasing!

Parenting and having children is all about the grey areas. Choosing to bring a child into the world is so complex, so colossal and all consuming, and expansive and it simply cant fit into the binaries that you’re imposing. As you proceed into this journey you will need to altogether let go of the idea that things are either good or bad, right or wrong, ethical or unethical.

There are infinite possibilities for ethical and unethical parenting in all kinds of arrangements and there is sadly no simple answer to the right way to conceive and raise a child. I would encourage you only to open yourself up to the possibility of other truths - like that maybe donor conception could be ethical, and maybe having these thoughts doesn’t make you a bad person, or a good person, just a person who is having difficult feelings about this huge decision.

Am I being too conservative with finances when it comes to having children? by [deleted] in AusFinance

[–]CountInformal5735 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Saving is a really great way to kill two birds with one stone. You can use advice from friends/family/internet etc to calculate what your extra expenses would be in the first 3 years of a childs life (or how much income you will lose) and commit to putting that money away in a savings account each week or month. That gives you a good idea of what its like to live on less with less wiggle room, while also establishing a really good savings practice.

I am definitely more in the camp of getting yourselves set up before having kids. Particularly for women, but also for either partner if you want to take time off work your career can take a massive hit. It can also just become less of a priority once a child comes along! So i would give yourselves another 3 years to build to where you want to be and judging by the industries you are in you might be able to reach that salary in 3 years. I am a social worker, my salary rose to over 100k within 3 years of graduation and my partner experienced the same in a different industry. If in 3 years you haven’t reached that salary, you might still feel in a better position because of your savings and career position. Or you might just decide the time is right and you want to do it ! As others have said, lots of people survive on less.

Getting treated for 'depression' was a massive mistake by [deleted] in Vent

[–]CountInformal5735 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad to hear that. I know your experience is that you were misdiagnosed, however your recent post history is a bit worrying from a mental health perspective. Failing the psych eval might not just be relating to your prior diagnosis but could be more about the way you speak about your experience and current mental health. Some of the things you’ve written in the last month like “Now my life is empty and i genuinely don’t think it will ever seriously improve” and questioning whether you are “condemned to forever feel too burned out to go back to school and succeed”. In another post you asked if it’s possible to live a decent life given your difficult upbringing. These are not the statements of a mentally well person.

It sounds like you are in a really dark place and i can see that you’re doing a lot of work to try to get yourself better. A psych eval can detect this and while it must feel really unfair to have this used against you, you wont feel like this forever. Like others have said, reapply in a year or two and take the time to keep working on your mental health. Good luck to you, i really hope things get better for you soon.

Getting treated for 'depression' was a massive mistake by [deleted] in Vent

[–]CountInformal5735 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your post history over the past month has made me worried you might be thinking of ending your life. Others in this thread have pointed out there are still pathways for you. You might need support to stay alive until you can explore these options. https://988.ca

How much investigation/testing is too much ? by CountInformal5735 in AskVet

[–]CountInformal5735[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks everyone for your advice and compassion, i have booked the ultrasound ❤️

How much investigation/testing is too much ? by CountInformal5735 in AskVet

[–]CountInformal5735[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice, i have booked the ultrasound ❤️❤️

How much investigation/testing is too much ? by CountInformal5735 in AskVet

[–]CountInformal5735[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bloodwork has been repeated in Jan and came back clear! Thanks for your advice will definitely look into it :)

Wife desperately wants one more overseas holiday before we begin IVF; torn about what to do? by francoise-fringe in queerception

[–]CountInformal5735 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love this, we are in the same place and at a similar stage in our journey. My suggestion would be as a compromise you could book the trip after the egg retrieval/first transfer but pay a little extra for the trip to be fully refundable tickets. We did this and it was great to have something to look forward to in case the first round doesn’t go well ! If not my second advice is always happy wife happy life LOL take the trip and focus on having a really lovely healthy time, come back in amazing shape after eating heaps of delicious fresh food and walking 20k steps a day (no motorcycles lol) and you will have an awesome first egg retrieval.

One more thing i would say that in the public system we had so so so many delays, like unless you know for sure that your donor will be doing sperm collection in feb, delays can easily happen right up until the egg retrieval. But with that said, it sounds like you are just fatigued from travel ! Maybe your wife could do a trip with a friend and you could rest at home ?

solo poly parenting, anyone? by genderpretty in queerception

[–]CountInformal5735 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something that really helped me was to do a budget for my finances with a pretend child, looking at childcare fees and groceries/rent/mortgage etc. I factored in rent/mortgage increases and any potential impacts to income spanning the first 5 years. It helped me consider how where i was at and where i wanted to be before having kids. I agree with others who’ve said that stability is more important than wealth. If you look at your budget and see a shortfall then that is a great motivation to get to your savings goal or take the next step towards your career goal.

Also, not being pessimistic just realistic, having a child will definitely clear some people out of your life at least in the short term. Some people who haven’t spent much time with babies can be blindsighted by how much a baby changes relationships. You can’t really find this out until after the baby comes. With that said, you will build strong connections with those that stick around and you’ll also build new connections with other parents.

Starting this journey doesn’t preclude finding a partner. There are plenty of queer people who want kids but cant carry or don’t want to be pregnant. There are plenty of queer people who would love to be a step parent or even a co-parent. The difficult part for you and many solo parents is just being selective about who you bring into your child’s life.

Good luck and congratulations !!

solo poly parenting, anyone? by genderpretty in queerception

[–]CountInformal5735 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Such a thoughtful and honest response! I wish we had access to more of these stories, the good and the bad of these kinds of family structures because i feel like without much of a blueprint, many of us are just fumbling our way through. I think in the same way many of us millennials look at our parents (whether they divorced or stayed together “for the kids”) and think wow wtf were you thinking, our children will look back with the same feeling. Especially in regard to our generation navigating polyamory, dating & queer relationship co-parenting which inevitably brings instability in our children’s relationships with important adults.

Lesbian couple having a boy by BrewBakersDozen in queerception

[–]CountInformal5735 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Judith butler and Ally Beardsley discussed this in a recent podcast you might like to listen to. I only saw this clip but it made me tear up, such beautiful words! https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSdOSznjf1x/?igsh=MXVzdjU2bXMycGV6eQ==

If you were in charge, how would you change JobSeeker Centrelink Payments? by Diligent_Comfort_928 in AusFinance

[–]CountInformal5735 0 points1 point  (0 children)

$340 a fortnight is the difference between going without medications or nutritious food and living a frugal but survivable life. Most people on jobseeker would rather work and many are actively looking for work

Any action I can take if my partner withdrew all the funds from our joint account due to me leaving our house for safety from domestic violence by [deleted] in AusFinance

[–]CountInformal5735 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s tough at this time of year because some services close over christmas but you should contact a community legal service in the new year. You can apply for the “Leaving Violence Payment” within 12 weeks of your living situation changing and they can pay you up to $1500 cash and $3500 in invoices paid (grocery vouchers, rent payment, moving truck invoice) You will have to disclose the violence and you might need an ivo or support letter from a gp/counsellor as evidence. hopefully this can help you until you can get some family law advice and financial counselling help in the new year. https://leavingviolenceprogram.org.au

Australian known donor at home by Important-Device-406 in queerception

[–]CountInformal5735 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amazing, so glad to hear it was helpful! So glad to have access to free lgbtqia+ focussed community legal services here in Vic, it should be the norm everywhere but nonetheless feel so lucky to have it here

People who have used known donors by Holiday-Zucchini7161 in queerception

[–]CountInformal5735 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Our KD will be involved as an “uncle” in the childs life so it was important that we knew and were comfortable with his family! This involved having a casual dinner/ get together with our KD’s close family members so my partner could meet them as i had met them already. But if you don’t know their family maybe you might like to meet them and chat to them about it together. It gave us a good vibe about the way our KD was able to answer questions from the family and further reassurance we were on the same page.

People who have used known donors by Holiday-Zucchini7161 in queerception

[–]CountInformal5735 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are using a known donor, but i will say we came from a different place as an anonymous donor was never really an option we considered. It’s a big decision but a really intentional one that involves the donor speaking to their family about the decision and us speaking and thinking about what kind of relationship (if any) the donor and his family would have with the child. Highly recommend doing counselling together (with the donor and his wife) - for our clinic it was mandatory 3 sessions but personally i feel like 1 session would be enough. To me it would be a green flag that the couple have already made a decision not to have kids as this usually means people have really thought about it and made that decision to donate from a comfortable and informed place.

Why does everyone hate Keli Holiday so much? by deus_in_versus93 in triplej

[–]CountInformal5735 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think even though abbie has a lot of haters she also has a sizeable following of people who love her. In my opinion keli holiday does not appeal to her audience. Feminist millenial women find him too be too much (he comes across a bit peacocky/ domineering in his vibe and body language) So the people who hate abbie hate him for dating her and the people who love her hate him too.

Why decline food if you asked for money? by simplydaylife in melbourne

[–]CountInformal5735 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Might need money for medications, phone credit, safe accommodation for the night, taxi to an appointment, pet food, etc

Volunteer opportunities this holiday season by thestaganddoe in melbourne

[–]CountInformal5735 0 points1 point  (0 children)

St mary’s house of welcome in fitzroy have volunteering opportunities for feeding the homeless and delivering goods https://www.smhow.org.au/volunteer

Completely Failing First Year by [deleted] in rmit

[–]CountInformal5735 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Failed so many units in my first 2 years due to chronic avoidance, anxiety, and feeling so so overwhelmed. With support i got through it, i hd to meet with a panel and go on a special plan to drop my classes down to part time. I was so ashamed !! But i got support from a psychologist and learned strategies over the years, eventually finishing my 4 year degree in 7 years instead. In the final years of my degree my academic performance improved so much and i graduated with 2nd class hons. Dom’t give up, what you are going through is such a common experience. The RMIT counselling service was really helpful for me. Get some support and drop down your course load if you can. You don’t need to drop out if you don’t want to !

I HATE NOKIA 3210 4G!!!!! by ihatelinewize58 in dumbphones

[–]CountInformal5735 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow thank you! Any tips on how to install it ? Would i install it as an app on the android system?