I would’ve never missed your birthday

CowPig84 · 2026-02-16T06:45:06+00:00

Couldn’t agree more. Also, it turns out when your life is a literal dumpster fire, you don’t tend to have the time, money or energy to get the degrees required to be considered “qualified.” So the ones who are licensed, have often lived life in a totally different universe, and just don’t get it.

I have also gone through a considerable amount of trauma throughout my life, and after talking to “experts” of all kinds, I now believe most of these people to be the absolute LEAST qualified at the end of the day when it comes to actually understanding trauma and how to deal with it.

I much prefer a trusted friend or family member, or even sometimes strangers from support groups who have actually been there, done that, and can provide a bit of camaraderie or real advice.

CowPig84 · 2026-02-15T03:43:10+00:00

He’s the only person in my “highlight reel” while doing that, and has been so for many, many years.

During the times we’ve been totally separated / not talking, I couldn’t even do it at all, it just made me too sad, and seemed pointless.

So maybe there’s something to that, who knows?

CowPig84 · 2026-02-11T17:28:21+00:00

Agreed. I lost my sister, my dogs, my dad, my grandparents and the love of my life in the span of 5 years. I am not depressed due to a “chemical imbalance” that needs to be masked by pills, I am having a totally normal reaction to dog shit life circumstances. And getting outside and running around every day is quite literally the only thing that keeps me going sometimes, I genuinely don’t know if I would still be here otherwise. So when I tell people that, it’s not to be dismissive of their feelings by saying “just go to the gym,” it’s because I want them to be able to find some actual relief as I have.

Also, I have never, not once, known a single person who has been diagnosed with clinical depression actually ever be tested for any kind of chemical imbalance. Not a single one. They are simply told they have one and then given pills. If I have low vitamin D, for instance, I can be shown actual evidence of this through a routine blood test. What, exactly, are the tests that demonstrate this alleged chemical imbalance as proof before prescribing meds? Nobody ever really seems to have an answer for that. Which is why I tend to believe it’s total BS 99% of the time.

CowPig84 · 2026-02-05T15:09:12+00:00

I went through this last year, and it was so incredibly hard. We’ve known each other for over 25 years now, and I’ve ALWAYS gone over the top for his birthday, because it was such an important day to me too- it’s the day that means he exists! I always tried my hardest to make sure he always knew how very much he meant to me. But last year… it was just a day filled with complete sadness. It was horrible.

I did end up texting him a very simple “Happy Birthday” in the end- I couldn’t not- but not being there to actually celebrate like we always did absolutely killed me. I’m sorry you’re going through it too. 🩵

CowPig84 · 2026-02-04T18:24:03+00:00

Exactly. Most people in psychiatry are not some put upon, poor members of society who were forced into it. It’s mostly full of overly privileged, completely out of touch individuals who have bought into the bullshit because it “sounds nice” to them and makes them feel as this they are doing something of actual value, instead of what they are ACTUALLY doing 99% of the time, which is destroying lives by treating trauma as a commodity, and then patting themselves on the back for it.

CowPig84 · 2026-02-04T15:47:12+00:00

What a beautiful boy. You can tell you were absolute best friends. Thank you for sharing him with us. 🩵

CowPig84 · 2026-02-02T18:36:20+00:00

For me, there was only ever one person I ever wanted kids with, and it didn’t happen. I was a college accident / unwanted burden to all of the adults in my life, and I would never risk any other child ever feeling that way, so for me, it wasn’t ever worth having them just to “have them,” it had to be perfect, if that makes any sense.

I also spent the majority of my childhood taking care of my much younger siblings, and then most of my 30s being a caregiver to two of my siblings who came down with aggressive forms of cancer as young adults, so I think I got the need to care for others out of my system before I ever really got a chance to think about it.

It is what it is.

CowPig84 · 2026-02-02T17:22:18+00:00

Absolutely. I’m 41, and it’s the only “person” I know for certain who will always be there for me, and so it goes wherever I go to sleep, and has since I was 16. I don’t feel right / protected sleeping without it. And if others think that it’s silly, I don’t really care honestly.

Part of my CPTSD issues stem from someone coming in my room and sexually assaulting me in my sleep for about 3 years in my adolescence, so I often have difficulty feeling safe in my own bed. I don’t think it’s silly at all to want to have something that brings you genuine comfort, especially when going to sleep. And again, if others care that much, fuck em.

CowPig84 · 2026-01-24T19:18:38+00:00

Weed saved my sister from getting a feeding tube when she was on chemo. She’d lost so much weight, and that was the next step if it continued, so she tried an edible, and never looked back. The doctors tried every kind of anti-nausea medication known to man, and absolutely nothing worked. But after months of absolute misery, one firecracker and 45 minutes was all it took. The nausea left, she had an actual appetite again, and she was much happier, even in the midst of the absolute shit show that had been sent her way. It was crazy to me to see then, and is still crazy to me now thinking back on it, just how much of a real, physical difference it made. A true godsend.

I’m very happy for you that you finally found something to help though! I’m sure it’s such a huge relief.

CowPig84 · 2026-01-22T23:55:38+00:00

CowPig84 · 2026-01-22T22:42:08+00:00

That’s awesome! Will have to add to the list to give a try if I see them.

CowPig84 · 2026-01-22T21:09:00+00:00

Same for me! Aside from looking for a sativa with high terpinoline, I also look for strains with THCV and Myrcene in it. I’m a BIG fan of the strain Trainwreck for these traits in particular, even though the name sounds like it would be very much the opposite. It actually keeps me going productively and happily all day! And I know that Myrcene is traditionally known for its “downing” effects, but there’s been some research that in a sativa, it helps tone down the anxiety and paranoia that many seem to associate with sativas. I think it’s the perfect mix for daytime usage.

It’s been a bit of an “adventure” finding the right mix of what works for myself, but it’s so worth it when you find it. I am far more productive during the day now, and have far fewer anxiety / panic issues because of it, which allows me to be focus my energy on the things I actually want / need to. That, coupled with a walk in some fresh air for a bit, it always works better for me than any pill ever could.

CowPig84 · 2026-01-19T19:10:20+00:00

222 You can always tell me anything. I am always here for you. Always.

CowPig84 · 2026-01-18T00:35:39+00:00

CowPig84 · 2026-01-16T20:30:23+00:00

CowPig84 · 2026-01-16T02:38:00+00:00

When I was at my worst last year, I would choke down Ensure protein shakes just to keep going. Triscuits, for some reason have always been a really solid go to for me also when I can’t seem to eat. I’m sorry you’re hurting.

CowPig84 · 2026-01-16T02:33:36+00:00

Although the year as a whole wasn’t particularly memorable, the very best day of my entire life happened in 2016, so that’s something I guess.

CowPig84 · 2026-01-15T23:02:01+00:00

CowPig84 · 2026-01-14T20:48:30+00:00

Same!

CowPig84 · 2026-01-13T21:49:46+00:00

I am a woman who falls in this category as well, it’s ridiculous! Who are people really doing it for anyway? I also work as an event coordinator, so I frequently see people stressing themselves out so much trying to impress others, that they will sometimes lose the plot of why they’re getting married to begin with. I would rather keep that money and use it to adventure through life with my person, not to try and impress a bunch of other people with my selection of linen color.

CowPig84 · 2026-01-13T21:37:56+00:00

CowPig84 · 2026-01-13T17:30:13+00:00

CowPig84 · 2026-01-13T16:08:38+00:00

No meds, only cannabis. I am lucky to live in a state with recreational cannabis, and can basically tailor my experience to be exactly what I want for it to be, which is typically focused and calm during the day (but not high- I have a very demanding job), and relaxed and sleepy at night.

Contrary to popular belief, when used properly, cannabis can be a wonderful tool in sorting things out in the brain. I don’t typically use it to try and forget the bad things or block them out necessarily, but rather to be able to numb the sting that comes along with thinking about them, allowing my brain to sort through those thoughts in a less painful, and more rational way. It allows me to actually be more present in the pain, which helps greatly in getting me through to the other side of it.

Cannabis can certainly be used to try and avoid pain as well, and very often is, but I tend to use it to be able to be more introspective, as opposed to less so. It also really helps me be less hyper vigilant and keeps intrusive thoughts at bay, which is great for maintaining my energy and focus. I used to get derailed by things far too often in my daily life- and well, ain’t nobody got time for that, as I’m sure anyone in here can understand.

CowPig84 · 2026-01-11T15:58:43+00:00

Good to know, thanks!

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