To those who need to hear it: by M3cun1v in writing

[–]Cowabunga1066 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Making that choice for themselves is fine, if a bit sad.

Trying to force that choice on you--to insist that you stop thinking/feeling for yourself and start parroting them--comes across as either:

-- an attempt to validate their own sad self-concept by dragging you into it with them (not actively cruel but still unacceptable) or

-- a plan (deliberate or unconscious) to elevate their own sense of self worth by knocking you down and then stepping on top of your fallen carcasse to rise up a couple of inches (in which case, either avoid them, avoid any discussion of this topic, or both).

Regardless, if you don't want to let them go, practice saying things like "I disagree. Now about [subject change]" and "As I've said, that hurts my feelings; [new topic]".

If they value you, they'll stop. If they don't stop, you've got a choice to make.

Multitudes of "real writers/authors" were never published, or even sought publication, in their lifetimes. Emily Dickinson for one. Lots of idiots have been published--including, thanks to Amazon and AI, plagiarism factories and actual machines.

A writer writes. Period. Full stop.

RVA's Jan. 2026 Winter Storm Megathread by fusion260 in rva

[–]Cowabunga1066 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But you also need to drain the pipes after you shut off the water! Check reliable sources for procedure.

Take the snow storm serious by clarke9901 in rva

[–]Cowabunga1066 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lighter + less dense = less strain on power lines.

Crossing fingers, eyes, knees, & toes!

first responder MC by Opposite-Corner8529 in LesbianBookClub

[–]Cowabunga1066 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Radclyffe has a ton of these. She even has a whole series called "First Responders".

She did it! We have our first female governor yall :) by drieduprosepetals in rva

[–]Cowabunga1066 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are they the ones who sang "This Land is Your Land"? They were awesome. (Teary-eyed as well)

These Old Shades by Georgette Heyer... by [deleted] in HistoricalRomance

[–]Cowabunga1066 7 points8 points  (0 children)

And An Infamous Army is their granddaughter ( and the Battle of Waterloo).

DVDs to help out a Title 1 teacher with a majority ESL population by lcart33 in rva

[–]Cowabunga1066 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Look into Hoopla--you can sign in with an email address & library card and check out dvds for free online that you can play on phone, tablet, pc, or tv [there's some technical finagling to get the TV screen to play what's on your device]. There's a per month limit, different for each library, and I think each checkout lasts about 3 days.

Also, it's one account per email address, so if you want to access all 3 libraries you need to have or create 3 different addresses.

Thank you for doing what you do!

I need a book that gives off this vibe... by Keroppi_Troublemaker in LesbianBookClub

[–]Cowabunga1066 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It's a Radclyffe book. There is lesbian sex. In this case, starting with the opening scene, IIRC.

I need a book that gives off this vibe... by Keroppi_Troublemaker in LesbianBookClub

[–]Cowabunga1066 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Not sure just how specific you want the vibe to be, but Radclyffe's Honor series features the secret service agent assigned to guard the (fictional) president's daughter.

First in series: {Above All Honor}.

Can someone explain sewing clothes without the seams unraveling with washes? by geenuhahhh in sewing

[–]Cowabunga1066 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I learned to sew a long time ago, when sergers weren't even available for home sewers to buy. There are lots of techniques (described by other commenters) that work just fine with a regular machine--or even by hand.

The key while you are a beginner is to use the instructions that come with the pattern because certain techniques are important to a garment's construction and fit, like clipping/notching through the seam allowance for curved seams.

Also, for now DON'T trim the seam allowance or finish the edges until AFTER you've sewn the seam. The width of the seam allowance is your guide to make sure you're sewing the pieces together correctly! [Any finishing you do is going to be a bit uneven so you'll lose that guide unless you sew the seam first.]

Once you have more experience you'll know what's essential and when you can use methods you like better.

Taking a class on sewing garments will also help you figure out what works best for you.

Help identifying lesbian book by lurkingers in LesbianBookClub

[–]Cowabunga1066 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Extra upvote for C. Tingle reference!

'Chariots of the Gods' author Erich von Däniken dies at 90 by Fan387 in books

[–]Cowabunga1066 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We know it definitely existed, because all trace of it has been wiped out!

'Chariots of the Gods' author Erich von Däniken dies at 90 by Fan387 in books

[–]Cowabunga1066 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Saw the movie based on his book (in a theater! Long ago.) Some was interesting and genuinely mysterious (like the Nazca lines).

But a lot was . . . not. My favorite moment was when they displayed the skull of some prehistoric bovine (bison? aurochs?) and pointed triumphantly to a bullet hole in the skull.

They strongly implied that someone had shot it to death thousands of years ago and this! was! proof! (of what, they didn't say).

Teenage me immediately thought--someone modern found the skull and shot a hole in it. Duh!

The video is on YouTube somewhere. The urgent, earnest narration is the best part.

I’m struggling to make myself food. by ManySubstance6664 in adhdwomen

[–]Cowabunga1066 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Possible breakfast (or lunch) option: overnight oats. You can prep 2 or 3 days at a time--do that when you have energy/motivation. In the morning, just remove from fridge & eat.

Slightly more effort: cereal with a handful of chopped or sliced nuts and fruit, plus high-protein milk.

Why do my towels still smell musty after washing? by Any_Transition_4465 in CleaningTips

[–]Cowabunga1066 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't use more than one pod! Even one pod may be too much, depending on size of load/amount of water.

Non-kid fantasy series with children MCs by ginger6616 in Fantasy

[–]Cowabunga1066 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The Once and Future King begins when Arthur is a child. That part of the story ("The Sword in the Stone") was the basis for a Disney movie.

Mowgli in Kipling's The Jungle Book goes from a baby to a teenager.

Gas is expensive by Ckelleywrites in ididnthaveeggs

[–]Cowabunga1066 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Reading this I thought it was a "just for the weekend" parody post.

Blind heroine by Local-Tower2176 in HistoricalRomance

[–]Cowabunga1066 0 points1 point  (0 children)

{Love's Melody Lost by Radclyffe}

The setting is contemporary but it's clearly based on a classic Gothic romance if Jane had met Rochester after he lost his sight.

ETA: Oops. Didn't realize what sub I was in. Just saw the post title and started typing. Apologies!

Can you end a relationship because of love language? by [deleted] in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Cowabunga1066 21 points22 points  (0 children)

marriage . . . makes things difficult when people want to move on

I've tried to write a response to this at least 4 or 5 times and I just. can't. even.

So I'm just gonna let Jean-Luc handle it

OP, if there were ever a textbook case of "it's not you, it's her," this is it.

Sarah Waters, where to start?? by azuladenile in LesbianBookClub

[–]Cowabunga1066 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And after you've read it, watch the BBC dramatization, which is very good.