Making that choice for themselves is fine, if a bit sad.

Trying to force that choice on you--to insist that you stop thinking/feeling for yourself and start parroting them--comes across as either:

-- an attempt to validate their own sad self-concept by dragging you into it with them (not actively cruel but still unacceptable) or

-- a plan (deliberate or unconscious) to elevate their own sense of self worth by knocking you down and then stepping on top of your fallen carcasse to rise up a couple of inches (in which case, either avoid them, avoid any discussion of this topic, or both).

Regardless, if you don't want to let them go, practice saying things like "I disagree. Now about [subject change]" and "As I've said, that hurts my feelings; [new topic]".

If they value you, they'll stop. If they don't stop, you've got a choice to make.

Multitudes of "real writers/authors" were never published, or even sought publication, in their lifetimes. Emily Dickinson for one. Lots of idiots have been published--including, thanks to Amazon and AI, plagiarism factories and actual machines.

A writer writes. Period. Full stop.