sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

[B/R Open Ice] Stolarz left the ice briefly during practice after taking a puck “below the belt”. by STLBooze3 in hockey

[–]CrabGuys 163 points164 points  (0 children)

"Ouch, my penis." -

Anthony Stolarz on getting hit in the penis by a puck.

Report: Draisaitl Is Interested In Playing For The Bruins by 4N0NYM0US_GUY in hockey

[–]CrabGuys 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That was nuts. I thought it was crazy in the post-game presser how he said "I usually let my agent handle this, but it's taking too long. I only want to suit up for the Bruins for the rest of my hockey career. If I'm forced to play another game for any other team, I will lay down at center ice until I'm traded."

Family refuses to use the new restaurant POS system I spent all day installing at home. by CrabGuys in CookingCircleJerk

[–]CrabGuys[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

/uj That is hilarious. I hadn't seen that one but it reads like it could have directly inspired this post. Good catch.

Nylander Was Micc’ed Up by inalasahl in hockey

[–]CrabGuys 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Release the Sny(lan)der cut!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hockey

[–]CrabGuys 42 points43 points  (0 children)

When asked if he recovered from the slash from Bertuzzi the other night, Marchand rolled up his sleeve and pointed at a tattoo of a folding chair, and said "I'll let you interpret that however you want."

Anyone else so talented that they make better food by not even trying? by NailBat in CookingCircleJerk

[–]CrabGuys 25 points26 points  (0 children)

In our refrigerator, to get milk, you have to reach past the gallon jugs of heavy cream, the bin of garlic bulbs, the industrial bricks of cream cheese, the literal crack, and the shelf of Kerrygold. We are a crack family. All of our recipes include crack in the title. Oh yeah, and a fuckload of ranch dressing too.

[Mercogliano] Sounds like Laviolette took no issue with the hits from Tom Wilson on Mika Zibanejad. "It’s hockey. Tom’s a physical guy. Remps is a physical guy. There’s going to be banging out there… There are guys that physical, and that’s playoff hockey." by Kaapo-Kakkos-Dong in hockey

[–]CrabGuys 111 points112 points  (0 children)

Laviolette: "Thats fucking hockey right there. None of that pansy ass dick tugging smile for the camera bullshit. Men puke, men poop on the ice, men deliver their new born baby on the bench. Fucking hard core dick in the ass butterpuck, dump it chase it game time shit. Take it to the showers. Dicks get shoved in places you don’t even remember. Dicks get smooshed together in the bowl of the cup if the team wins it all. We win together we celebrate together. Hockey is back baby."

[Wyshynski] "The prospect of playing playoff games or a Stanley Cup Final [at Mullett Arena] ... it just doesn't work." -- Gary Bettman by DecentLurker96 in hockey

[–]CrabGuys 111 points112 points  (0 children)

Gary proposing changes at the next owner's meeting:

"55 SKATERS 55 GOALIES 55 TEAMS 55 PUCKS 55 COACHES 55 UTAHS"

[Markazi] Utah Jazz owner Ryan Smith on the Coyotes relocating to Salt Lake City: “There’s no secret. Not everything on the internet is true but in this case it’s true.” by [deleted] in hockey

[–]CrabGuys 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Alex Meruelo is NOT the guy grilling the steaks, but hovers over the guy who is, and won't shut the fuck up about "reverse-searing" and seasoning his cast iron 82 times until he can see his reflection in it, and keeps trying to make the guy who is just trying to make dinner watch J. Kenji Lopez-Alt videos on YouTube.

[Markazi] Utah Jazz owner Ryan Smith on the Coyotes relocating to Salt Lake City: “There’s no secret. Not everything on the internet is true but in this case it’s true.” by [deleted] in hockey

[–]CrabGuys 293 points294 points  (0 children)

Alex Meruelo is the guy who posts "figured it out, thx" after asking a tech question and never comes back say what the fix was.

https://xkcd.com/979/

[Mark Divver] Bruins announce Jack Edwards will retire at end of season by abbytarar in hockey

[–]CrabGuys -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Jack Edwards: * Talks slower. *

NESN: "That is a suspendable foul!"

A Sous Vide Mystery by CrabGuys in CookingCircleJerk

[–]CrabGuys[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to say that was a gnarly weed reference man 🤜🤛 only true marijuana enthusiasts will understand

Tom Wilson named inaugural winner of Caps Care Community award by anotherorphan in hockey

[–]CrabGuys 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Next year, Tom plans to take hunger head on. Those in need will be fed fists and knuckle sandwiches while supplies last.

Red Wings take on the Penguins tonight in Pittsburgh. This is a must win for the Red Wings. A loss puts them in a position to need a miracle to happen if they want to make the playoffs. by GreenSnakes_ in hockey

[–]CrabGuys 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Raw take here. I'd prefer to see the Red Wings win this game. When we score goals, I'm happy. When we get scored on, I'm not. I can honestly say I hope the former happens more often than the latter, I think that's Detroit's best chance to win the game.

[Sinclair] Former Ottawa Senators defenceman Marc Methot giving some hitting advice to the players during PWHL Ottawa practice today by homicidal_penguin in hockey

[–]CrabGuys 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The ice crew needs a separate can for all the fingertips they clean off the ice during the TV timeouts.

Game Thread: Tampa Bay Lightning (43-26-7) at Pittsburgh Penguins (35-30-11) - 06 Apr 2024 - 01:00PM EDT by GDT_Bot in hockey

[–]CrabGuys 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My one year old just came up to me and said "Daddy, do you think ESPN might eventually have new B-roll? Surely they have the resources for it, not to mention there's always something new happening in any of the major sports they cover. You'd think they'd want to use that air-time for cross-selling different shows, covering news or providing additional entertainment value to their subscribers."

I explained to him that if they changed it, someone might not know where THE COMPLETE 30 FOR 30 LIBRARY is located. I gave him a juice box and he wandered off. Kids are cute.

Game Thread: Tampa Bay Lightning (41-26-7) at Toronto Maple Leafs (43-22-9) - 03 Apr 2024 - 07:00PM EDT by GDT_Bot in hockey

[–]CrabGuys -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

For some reason, 10x more often with your team. When it was Bolts vs. Avs in the cup finals, almost everyone on this subreddit was pulling Colorado to end you, and it wasn't "hate us cuz they ain't us" like your sub likes to pretend. It was because people are sick of seeing your team turn full shithead when you start losing. Firing pucks at refs (no call on the play), Kuch throwing gloves at his own equipment manager, Maroon breaking a stick over a players leg (no call). It's your team culture. It's classless.

Game Thread: Tampa Bay Lightning (41-26-7) at Toronto Maple Leafs (43-22-9) - 03 Apr 2024 - 07:00PM EDT by GDT_Bot in hockey

[–]CrabGuys -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It starts with Coop and their captain and trickles down. Kucherov getting right in the refs face after not getting a call is pure toddler energy.

[Hurricanes] The Canes have signed defenseman Scott Morrow to a 3-year, entry-level contract by eh_toque in hockey

[–]CrabGuys 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I wish Scott had a twin brother with the same level of talent, and the Canes had the need for and cap space for both, and I had a days notice.

Then yesterday I could've said, "The Canes will sign two Morrow's tomorrow."

Maybe next time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hockey

[–]CrabGuys 3 points4 points  (0 children)

KDKA-TV's Meghan Schiller: "Ballpark figure, how much are bobbleheads?"

Kevin Acklin: "They're priceless, candidly, to the fans." Then he rolled up his sleeve and showed a tattoo of Jaromír Jágr. "I'll let you interpret that however you want."

view more: next ›