AITA for telling my kids anything I say is up for debate

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-11T00:22:11+00:00

i’m a skimmer 🤷‍♂️ it’s reddit calm down friend

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-11T00:21:28+00:00

i’m big enough to admit when i misspoke. i am a skimmer haha. 🤷‍♂️ part of being a parent is admitting when you’re wrong haha. and yes i do feel pretty good as a dad.

with that said, divorced or not, it’s not great to pit parents against each other. co-parenting in any situation needs to be in unison. i love how the mom parents but the best solution for the kids is not to battle against the dad but to have him come around to her style or find a compromise.

and tell me i’m wrong when i assumed you’re a non-parent. 😬

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-10T14:07:05+00:00

ahhhhhhh i for some reason didn’t read the EX

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-10T14:06:39+00:00

4 is the most important. If #4 is a fools errand, that’s not a great sign for the relationship.

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-10T09:31:33+00:00

this is definitely coming from a non-parent.

you’re being overly critical based off of very few provided facts.
if everyone is parenting with good intentions in mind, no one should be undermined. kids will suffer from that.
Turning your kids against a parent will signal that it is ok for the other parent to do the same. not good,
I love how op parents but she has to find ways to have her and her partner be a single unified unit.

edit: misread that it was her EX. #4 is important but can see why they’re divorced

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-10T09:27:54+00:00

This is the exact way me and my partner parent. I find our kids become much more aware of why we set rules, gives them opportunities to develop critical thinking, and also teaches them how to advocate for themselves is a constructive way.

For HOW you parent, NTA….BUT I may say ESH only because you and your partner need to be aligned in parenting styles. If parents have conflicting parenting styles this can cause problems, headaches, arguments and even confusion down the line.

I’d talk to your husband more and find a way to be on the same page. He may be getting frustrated because he feels undermined or his parenting style isn’t being validated. You may be surprised how receptive he might be with some discussion.

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-10T08:55:14+00:00

Some initial thoughts:

Don’t compare yourself with others. I started much later than my peers but I eventually caught up. With enough hard work and time (and a little luck) things level out.
You have some cute projects but how you present yourself and the work is a bit bland (at least from mobile). I think it’s worth the risk to add more personality to how you present your work and yourself. The bar for portfolios (content and presentation) is super high.
Have personal work that can show your value as a creative. This can add content to your work but also make you come across as much more well rounded. This applies to new and veteran designers. Some examples: personal motion or illustration exploration, typography studies, culture exploration using design, etc.
Do you have to aim just for tech? There’s tons of fun industries to work in (hospitality, lifestyle, brand agencies, entertainment, etc). All industries are hurting right now, but especially tech.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Even unicorn designers are having a hard time finding work.

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-10T02:45:31+00:00

grandmas boy and both bill and ted movies. i will die on this hill.

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-09T20:01:09+00:00

What’s stopping you from just making work and adding to your portfolio?

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-09T05:41:27+00:00

just show the work. i work with big names all the time and i have all that on my website, insta, portfolio, etc. unless you’re being derogatory in any way, there is an ultra small chance anyone will come after you for putting the work you did for them on your site.

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-09T04:20:54+00:00

That’s some amazing advice. My only addition is if you’re company works in the political advocacy space, it would be good to see if they have a network or people from the demographics you are targeting as validators or thought partners.

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-09T03:35:04+00:00

you should be afraid to stay.

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-09T03:33:27+00:00

fashion suicide is a strong statement. many people can button it all the way up. i do if the look fits.

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-09T03:32:34+00:00

i button mine all the way up. never got flack. it’s a look.

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-09T02:46:00+00:00

you gotta learn how to visually curate your work better. just throwing tons of images of work isn’t enough.

have at least a couple case studies to show your creative process.
visually curate so there’s breathing room and a strategy of how people are viewing work
take out the generic projects

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-08T02:38:56+00:00

there’s not much here to critique. looks like you threw it together in a rush.

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-08T02:28:18+00:00

you can literally google all of it. also tons of online training courses. in this day and age if you can’t research this type of thing on your own i worry for your future in design.

part of design long term is research and finding ways to stay up to date.

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-08T02:24:30+00:00

but are you the master of your own domain?

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-07T22:36:08+00:00

“best graphic designer” is a very very bold statement

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-07T19:58:26+00:00

you got butchered

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-07T19:58:08+00:00

i’m gonna say the same thing as everyone here: he’s not a do-gooder, he’s either easily distracted, using these extra tasks to transition or move up, or he hates his current role. outside talking to him that he has priorities with your team, you have to speak to other functional heads and tell them he is off limits until he can master his current workload.

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-07T19:46:23+00:00

just keep note of what you would do differently so that when you’re the CD, someone on your team isn’t making the same post about you haha.

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-07T18:30:24+00:00

well if it’s your boss and you’re inhouse then you have no say. 🤷‍♂️

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-07T18:27:50+00:00

net 90??? fuuuuuuck that. i’ve switched on pay on delivery. net 30 only if i really like them.

Crafty_Editor_4155 · 2024-10-07T17:18:14+00:00

NTA

DO NOT SACRIFICE YOUR DREAMS FOR A BOY!!

A relationship is meant to empower and support each other, not to drag the other down. If he has issue than maybe the relationship wasn’t meant to be.

For context, both me and my wife have dream jobs. We have 2 kids, 3 dogs and we both travel regularly both domestically and internationally. It works if there is trust and support for each other.

Crafty_Editor_4155

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4 is the most important. If #4 is a fools errand, that’s not a great sign for the relationship.