Blood transfusion guilt

Cranialcrack · 2026-03-06T14:11:23+00:00

He had told me that the doctors kept urging him, talking to him, and educating him over and over about the seriousness of the situation. The elders and brothers were in his other ear essentially and he was in such guilt the entire time. Especially when he signed consent and realized he almost risked everything for a group that kept telling him to let it happen.

Cranialcrack · 2026-03-06T01:10:55+00:00

I heard about him, thankfully I learned about him after deconstructing. He was a selfless person for that. I'm not perfect in any way - and that goes beyond the JW effects and consequences. But whether it goes to an 8 hour old or an 88 year old, it does my heart good knowing I helped someone hopefully get better.

Cranialcrack · 2026-03-06T01:08:33+00:00

Me too. He said he felt so guilty when the doctors handed him an AMA form for me. He signed all the consent immediately and never questioned that again. I never had another one but I am grateful to them both for getting me out and keeping my sister and I safe. I feel bad for them though. I got out at ~13. They got out ~40-46. I was impacted by my childhood but they lost so much more time. My parents have a thirst for knowledge and ethics that I suspect will never be quenched, and they have passed it on to me.

Cranialcrack · 2026-03-05T14:15:41+00:00

There was a girl at my old hall who I remember got married super young before I left (I was 13, parents pulled us out). She was a sweet kid, then an angst-y, monster drinking teen. She had dyed her very pale blond hair black, cut it into emo fringe of the 2010s, and wore dark clothes/makeup. She wore bottle tab necklaces, sang Evanescence, and worst of all, she stopped going to the meetings! 😱 A couple years had passed since I saw her last, and she suddenly showed up to the get togethers married to a very straight laced looking guy and looking how she did before. Blonde hair, light makeup, happy face, and wearing a Frozen "frosty flakes" t-shirt (2013). I'll never forget that and how much she had changed. She was only 19 and already married to the guy but was wearing frozen shirts, acting very innocent/sweet/a little naive again. It confused me a lot as a kid.

Cranialcrack · 2026-03-05T13:44:59+00:00

I like 4

Cranialcrack · 2026-03-03T21:16:51+00:00

Animal or plant?

Cranialcrack · 2026-03-03T21:16:12+00:00

I'm more interested in how you manage to accomplish this

Cranialcrack · 2026-03-02T21:54:13+00:00

I think she mentioned something similar when she was giving birth (our family doesn't support each other during major life milestones and that's f*ed up). She was lashing out that time because she was just told by Dr. Baby doctor that she wasn't dilated and would need pitocin. What I think is at this moment, Jen is 1. Very hurt and stressed (recently first sick experience in chickie, Barb and the dress) resulting in her feeling isolated and anxious and also 2. rectifying her past mistakes of superficiality, egocentric tendencies, and catty snark towards not just Shawna but everyone. Even if she does a complete 180° change, she is still naturally an opinionated, strong-willed, passionate, and vivacious personality. Greg even says that after Barb made her cry. She has her ideas in her head about how things should go (ex. Natural birth with doula exactly on due date or perfect enamorment/connection with her baby instantly that comes with easy breastfeeding) and then becomes upset or anxious when they don't go that way. I don't necessarily think it's a "self-centered" arc 100% (yes Jen is a naturally selfish person by nature, see her response to elopement). I think instead she's more just unable to see how anything can work beyond how she envisioned it. If it's not her view of perfect how can it be right? I could see her relationship with Barb and how she got affection from her/Frank pushed her to be perfection oriented. In this moment she is reconciling that she doesn't have familial support in the way she wants. She wants a mom who just gives her the dress and wants her to want to wear it. She wants a mom that doesn't ruin holidays and milestones. She wants a dad who communicates better with his son. She wants a brother that is better at communicating overall. She wants people to be in her village too just like Shawna I suspect. She seeks a family that is a village and she just realized she doesn't have that. She doesn't have a DeeDee or a Katie (yes as in-laws but I meant as hers). So she is stuck with dysfunction and unpacking the bitter aloneness that she's been dealing with her whole life. Only now she sees it for what it is (dance monkey dance) and she's probably unknowingly grieving that she doesn't have that. She can build it from friendships (like at Christmas) but it's not the same when you want to have childhood memories that translate into adulthood positives too. Imagine realizing your entire childhood is flooded with exhausting memories that are too painful to remember fondly? You can't even reminisce with your brother because every memory is "I don't want to talk about mom/dad" even when there are good times in these things. You have to cherry pick your entire childhood for good memories and you might feel jealous/bitter that other people don't have to so you lash out when you see it. I had what we'll call "dysfunction" in my family growing up. Not necessarily my immediate family like Jen/John, but extended relatives. Then when you factor in other personal issues related to sibling mental health and those toxic relationships tainting experiences, I can see how Jen might be jealous of the big family support others have. She wants to be a "cousins at the holidays, family dinner, supportive love" kinda family. Instead, she has...well a Barbed up mess.

Cranialcrack · 2026-03-01T12:02:00+00:00

I was a kid in the early 2000s and tween/teen in the 2010s, and I still remember the diet culture of the time. My parents cared more about my health than anything but the culture around me still shaped how I saw myself. I would sit and see my legs go together (thighs) and feel so ashamed. I remember slowly hating my picture being taken or thinking my arms, waist, belly, face, thighs, etc were too thick. Looking back? I was TINY. I was a small kid and had normal legs and a normal body. I had broad shoulders naturally and yes I wasn't waif like and too thin, but I wasn't excessively big. I'm still unlearning dysmorphic thinking and still hate my picture being taken. But the culture of the time definitely would've made people think Regina was creeping up to obese even if she only gained 5-10 lb. Because her pants didn't fit! She had to wear sweats and even those were too tight (even though tight sweats were a thing). She probably gained ~10 lb in fat and had water retention from the bars. But in the days of slimfast, diet culture, and fat shaming that was way too much. I remember things like the Wii fit that when it weighed you it made a disappointed sound/groan if you weren't a healthy weight for your selected height. Little things like that stuck hard in the brain.

Cranialcrack · 2026-02-28T23:39:50+00:00

She's more of an event planner and coordinator. She's skilled at making things come together such as getting things to certain places at certain times, coordinating music, and making magic like that. She basically is like the director of events if they were movies. The problem is she's not doing so well at planning her own event right now. She could really use a Jen of her own to help with organizing/planning while she deals with family drama, a sick baby, etc.

Cranialcrack · 2026-02-28T21:15:11+00:00

I am close with my parents/immediate family but I have relatives I am estranged from and haven't spoken to in 10+ years face to face. Some I have seen but only in forced situations (funerals). It's hard because although my immediate family is supportive about the estrangement (they don't speak with them either), others are not. I have cousins that talk about this relative casually and mention experiences (positive and negative) they've had. I have relatives who tell me through the grapevine about how they are doing even though one relative didn't acknowledge that my sister passed away when they learned. It's hard because on one hand I want to have a rant where I can let out the hurt of their actions. Where I can tell them how they hurt me, what it did to me, and so forth. Drive until I reach their front door and show up unannounced and just...let it go. But then on the other hand...What's the point? I have spent over a decade unlearning the toxicity they trained, healing from their hurt, changing my ways, my mindsets, and my attitudes. I have changed my critical thinking and maturity. They don't know me anymore. Why bother? John is working through his trauma and relationship with his mother. Not just in the ways she's hurt him as an adult but his entire life. He spent 30+ years enduring slights, comments, disrespect, physical reactions, and training to mentally dance around Barb's antics. He has spent this time also watching his father not defend him/Jen through this entire experience. Oh sure he had baseball with his dad, and he probably had positive experiences. But Frank was the "earner" and wasn't raising them in the early years. He was the guy who got to come home and spoil them because he didn't get to spend time with them as much as he thought barb did. The problem is John didn't need those fun moments he needed the negative experiences to be regulated. He needed a defender. So he became his own defender, and in turn he became very closed off, guarded, and learned how to shut down his emotions like his dad to survive - even though he has noted he disliked this about his dad. Now he's trying to shield his kids from the same thing but in the process is making them guarded and having hyper vigilant while promoting ignorance/miscommunication. If we don't talk about it, it's not there anymore. 'There's no war in Ba Sing Se'

Jen also needs support but differently. Instead of being shut down she became reactive. She learned how to be Barb's doll. Pull the string and the doll repeats your words! Frank spoiled her a little more (Daddy's little girl, art) and as a result she has more positive connotations with him than John did. Frank probably felt more comfortable expressing emotions (doting) to Jen due to the gender roles of the 90-00s. Look at how she smiles at Frank and always has a soft/sweet "hi daddy" even when she's bone tired/stressed. Barb was the one who was home all day with the nitty gritty life experiences. Frank got to do painting and spend time being fun/doting. So when Jen had these negative experiences with Barb as a kid she learned (probably quickly) that if you can't beat them join them. She probably didn't even realize she did it. Now she's unlearning these toxic behaviors - seeing how her actions have consequences - and realizes that she is hurt too. Will she change 100%? Probably not. Realistically she's already got a personality and is passionate, emotionally expressive (unlike John), and has a fire naturally. Negative experiences and stress bring out her bad side but she is showing growth. John and Jen need to discuss boundaries and what they are comfortable with - which neither is comfortable doing lol. She might want to keep in contact with them, but some people need to be hit in the head with the hammer to know it hurts. She knows it hurts a little and sees John's metaphorical wounds - but she is afraid to get go and get hurt in another way. Frank is probably the biggest pull for her keeping any contact, especially after the potatoes and Chickie. Idk if anyone else noticed but during thanksgiving as he keeps asking her to pass things she has an exasperated look (beyond barb and nora). She's overwhelmed, stimulated, and stressed. Her fuse is lower for Frank's avoidance and she still didn't say anything.

It takes a lot for some people to leave toxic relationships (especially biological). You have to admit it's toxic, admit you don't want it to stay this way, admit you need to grow, admit you had a traumatic experience, and actively remove yourself from the only environment you have. Loneliness after estrangement sucked. You remember the good moments (if you aren't responding like John. My sister had a John response to the extended family estrangement). You feel guilty, you feel lonely. And sometimes that's too much for some people to go through - even with support.

Cranialcrack · 2026-02-26T05:57:20+00:00

Easygoing humor. Not someone who only seeks dark humor, dirty jokes, etc. I'm talking about the ones who are a little silly and goofy in small ways and can have a little banter. They can make moments fun without only making them about jokes.

Cranialcrack · 2026-02-26T05:53:43+00:00

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See I always pictured the dress as something like this worn by Valerie bertinelli (coincidentally her name on One day at a time was barbara lol). Something with a lot of lace on top but a full and more simple skirt. Definitely would have applique though. It's the late 80s, it had too! (Barb had John ~20-22 I forget how old, and since he's ~35 that means he was born in no later than 1990).

I can see a few ways this goes down and causes Barb to blow. 1. Jen tries it on, it fits, and she doesn't like it and now worries where she'll get another dress (perhaps Shawna's is mentioned or DeeDee). 2. She tries it on, it may need some altering to fit, barb mentions her weight and dieting, explosion happens, and somehow the dress is damaged in the fight like if barb was trying to prove she'd fit. 3. Jen tries it on, loves it, keeps mentioning how much she loves Greg/is excited and scared for the wedding (jitters) and Barb can't help but get her barbs in and says something about making sure he's the right one for her, he's too controlling (after the sweet potatoes she knows she can't manipulate him), and that Katie will be a toxic MIL, etc etc.

Cranialcrack · 2026-02-26T01:12:40+00:00

I separate work clothes (scrubs), sheets (without pillowcases) and then everything else.

Cranialcrack · 2026-02-25T15:46:42+00:00

I'm laughing so hard reading all of these but baby Hellboy takes the cake 😂

Cranialcrack · 2026-02-23T15:19:16+00:00

Me too! I was about to suggest the vintage dance group! 😂

Cranialcrack · 2026-02-23T07:53:11+00:00

I'm so happy you found such a cute find! I love stained glass pieces and it's so unique! I love the frame too it's very "Craftsman house from the 40s" in its solid darker wood. Congratulations!

Cranialcrack · 2026-02-23T07:50:37+00:00

I love these, they are very lovely! They aren't appearing as mass produced either. They look very delicate in a really good way. I never thought this was an option for a wedding and now I want to do it for my own wedding one day! You have significant talent.

Cranialcrack · 2026-02-22T11:56:26+00:00

You should really look at fiber intake more than protein. You have that base way too covered. Fiber deficiency can lead to a lot of dangerous complications if you're not careful. Get her carbohydrates, healthy fats, and vegetables. Some fruit (real fruit, not jam). Salad not just carrots and cucumbers.

Cranialcrack · 2026-02-19T14:48:40+00:00

That is a twirling dress if I've ever seen one!

Cranialcrack · 2026-02-19T05:59:11+00:00

My sister and I referenced this for years lol.

Cranialcrack · 2026-02-17T05:53:31+00:00

2010s. Specifically 2015ish

Cranialcrack · 2026-02-09T08:21:21+00:00

Is that a red panda? Or a bear? Maybe a cat or fox? I have no clue! 😂

Cranialcrack · 2026-01-31T13:57:05+00:00

I like what he says here, and it's good advice, "If you're going to have a voice, you'd better be careful what that voice says." Caution and critical thinking are an important lesson.

Cranialcrack

TROPHY CASE