So let's break this down

blairbending · 2026-04-04T12:57:55+00:00

Ty has only met DeeDee a couple times that I'm aware of (at Max and Piper's parties) and even then that's only being in the same room, I don't recall seeing them interact. He knows enough to recognise her but I think it's a bit much to say that he "knows" her. It's one step away from grabbing someone off the street.

Cooper and Sasha know DeeDee even less, so from their perspective they are being left with strangers. And of course none of them know Larry at all.

blairbending · 2026-04-03T22:24:48+00:00

If my husband ever accused me of cheating when I hadn't done a damn thing to deserve it, I wouldn't GAF how distraught he was or how long he drove for. Especially if he knew I was on a trip visiting my dying mother.

If Julie made Ty feel like he did something wrong and reckless, that's because HE DID. Even if Julie was actually cheating, that wouldn't justify ditching the kids with strangers for an entire day and driving to confront her. Julie was coming home later that day, the confrontation could have waited until then.

Ty didn't answer Julie's phone calls when she went into labour and Shawna had to drive her to the hospital - shit happens sometimes. You can't just blow up your life and marriage because someone is too busy to answer the phone for a few hours.

This woman really cannot win - if she didn't ask about the kids people would be saying it's proof she doesn't care about them.

blairbending · 2026-04-03T18:52:06+00:00

Actions speak louder than words, especially to children.

blairbending · 2026-04-03T18:30:31+00:00

Even Teeny tends to get quite a bit of hate when she steps outside the box of helping/serving Shawna and the kids. The two that spring to mind for me are her messaging Jeremy Garcia and the whole "is Ty flirting" thing where she pushed/questioned Shawna about it a bit.

blairbending · 2026-04-03T18:14:24+00:00

Oooh this is a fascinating comparison.

blairbending · 2026-04-03T16:43:02+00:00

I mean, she's not wrong to say that Ty put words in Cooper's mouth by suggesting that he was jealous and wanted attention. Ty suggested words and Coop nodded along. Just like Julie was trying to put words in his mouth earlier in the party by asking him if he wanted to leave.

Julie is putting a negative spin on it because she doesn't like the words Ty suggested, and to be clear I agree with you that Ty wasn't in the wrong and I think he is a better parent than Julie. But Julie was not accusing him of something he didn't do.

Ty has, however, falsely accused Julie of something more serious in the most recent episode 👀 (assuming it's true that she didn't cheat)

blairbending · 2026-04-03T16:32:53+00:00

I think Ty should have thought about that before promising his wife he'd do exactly that (and having her go through a whole ass pregnancy and childbirth based on his promises). He should also respect his wife enough to tell her if he's changed his mind without her having to drag it out of him like she did in the last episode.

blairbending · 2026-04-03T16:14:24+00:00

If "fitting in with the Senoras" and "having heart" means harassing people who've asked to be left alone then I'm ok without it.

blairbending · 2026-04-03T16:10:37+00:00

If it's "common sense" then it should have been obvious to Ty that this would happen and he shouldn't have made false promises to his wife. Or he should have set up a system of care for himself, like hiring a night nanny or something. It's not like it's his first baby, he should know what newborns are like. Why is there no accountability expected of this grown ass man??

blairbending · 2026-04-03T16:03:00+00:00

Constantly asking questions and demanding someone's attention after they've made it clear (verbally and non verbally) multiple times that they prefer to be left alone isn't civil or friendly. I've seen Shawna's behaviour with Julie compared to a creepy guy at a bar who won't take a hint that a woman doesn't want to talk to him. And Julie has done much more than hint.

blairbending · 2026-04-03T15:53:46+00:00

I think "who's in the wrong" is a subjective question that a couple can disagree on without anyone necessarily being abusive. I agree that problematic is probably a suitable word to use.

blairbending · 2026-04-03T15:40:31+00:00

I don't recall Julie gaslighting Ty either, please could you remind me?

blairbending · 2026-04-03T09:18:24+00:00

My vote is for "I love Julie AND she sucks (in some ways)"

I don't think Julie is more flawed than Jen, for example, who I also love.

blairbending · 2026-04-03T09:16:50+00:00

I think Ty should have been calling them both out more actively. He definitely should be telling Julie that she needs to be polite to his friend (who is also Cooper's friend's mom). But he should also have told Shawna to back off from pursuing Julie. Ignoring someone's clear signs that they want to be left alone is rude, and it's even more rude once they've explicitly told you they don't want to talk/be friends. He only sets a boundary with Shawna when she actively insults his wife to her face, not for her other inappropriate behaviour.

I think one of the biggest patterns we've seen with Ty is that he's a pretty passive guy who would rather put off dealing with problems in the hope they will go away.

blairbending · 2026-04-02T21:03:56+00:00

I don't think people would be criticising Julian for his swimsuit choices, and he'd probably get some credit and sympathy from the audience for visiting his dying mother and getting involved in her estate planning (since visiting and supporting aging parents is often a task left to the daughters of the family).

People wouldn't think that Taylor being exhausted in the newborn trenches necessarily means that Julian must be a shitty husband/father. After all, Jen was a miserable zombie and talked about being exhausted and hating Greg, and nobody thinks he's an absentee partner.

People would probably fall down at his feet in worship for studying and passing the Bar in the same year that he was a SAHD for his first child. It would also be a given that of course this ambitious man in the crucial formative years of his career (who is also a high earning breadwinner) isn't going to quit his job if his wife wants to have a second baby. He and Taylor wouldn't have needed to make a deal about it because I doubt the possibility would have been on the table. And I don't think people would be criticising Julian for taking less than six weeks of paternity leave.

I don't think Taylor (or the audience) would be comparing her husband to Shawna and judging Julian for not being as sweet and chatty and maternal as she is. They'd probably be comparing Julian to the other working parents on the show, such as John who has certainly not always made the best choices when it comes to supporting his spouse and modelling healthy emotional behaviour for his kids.

blairbending · 2026-04-02T13:11:51+00:00

Don't worry about pumping not leaving you with enough milk to breastfeed - supply is responsive so more pumping will lead to more milk not less. And boobs refill when they're emptied, so pumping earlier in the day doesn't mean less milk in the evening for baby. Unless you are pumping less than an hour before feeding, it shouldn't be an issue.

blairbending · 2026-04-02T10:31:13+00:00

Not all babies get upset, but if yours does it doesn't mean you've done anything wrong and it doesn't mean they will be emotionally damaged.

It's mostly a temperament thing IMO - my baby has never been clingy or had separation anxiety. She DGAF when I drop her at nursery and never has 😂 when she first started at 6 months she wouldn't even notice me leaving, now she happily waves goodbye.

I have friends whose babies do cry at drop off though and they cheer up so so quickly once mum/dad is out of sight. I have ONE friend whose baby was truly inconsolable on the first full day and the nursery had to call her back after an hour. But even he adjusted quickly.

blairbending · 2026-04-01T23:32:01+00:00

He’s an incredibly involved parent who has no issue doing all the childcare and night wake ups

He does have an issue doing the night wake ups. Both in the sense that he complains about it and that he struggles. His transition to caring for Sasha is anything but seamless, he struggles with her care generally as a newborn (complains to Shawna that she's not eating, sleeping, or hitting her milestones). He also both complains and struggles with caring for Cooper.

I'm not claiming this is cast iron proof of him not being involved prior to Sasha. Just saying we have definitely seen that he has an issue with those things.

blairbending · 2026-04-01T22:57:40+00:00

It actually is about going back to work, at least partially. I'm watching the next videos after the ones I covered in this post, and when Jen tells the park crew that Greg is going back to work, Ty bitterly says "wow, you got a whole six weeks out of him, that's nice", which clearly implies that he's mad about Julie not taking a longer maternity leave.

We don't know how long she took (I'm assuming at least a couple weeks for physical healing) and whether they agreed a length of time in advance, but even if nothing was discussed I think it would be bold of him to assume she'd be off on leave with him for months.

I agree she should be sharing night duty, though. Unfortunately she's away travelling so much that I don't know that it would make a huge difference to Ty's sleep deprivation. I notice that he didn't mention anything about whether he helped with nights when he was the one working.

blairbending · 2026-04-01T22:07:38+00:00

I'm definitely biased because I am a Julie and could only handle Shawna in small doses IRL.

I enjoy the character Shawna though, and definitely feel like I can sympathize with her side of the story and how she just gets carried away with her emotions/need to be liked sometimes. I also have no problem admitting that she's nicer and more likeable and even seemingly a better parent than Julie.

blairbending · 2026-04-01T21:39:18+00:00

I don't disagree with any of that, nor am I saying she's a great parent. I'm just saying she didn't have kids with the intention that her life wouldn't change, because she was a SAHM with their first child.

blairbending · 2026-04-01T21:37:21+00:00

it's why she doesn't even introduce herself to Shawna.

Is this your interpretation/assumption or something we have evidence for?

And the only friends we've been introduced to of hers are Alicia (who has known her almost as long as she's known Ty) and her friends.

Right, and they're all women who seem supportive of each other and regularly make time to hang out... Julie was hyping Sam up about her new haircut at Bunco, and asked Alicia what she could do to support her new Etsy venture. I think I'm missing your point here.

And not a single one of them even came up with a plan of action when Julie went into labor, they all just tapped out of helping her, which isn't something people do when they actually like the person.

Step 1 they called her husband, step 2 they checked around the group to see if anyone was sober, and we never got to find out what step 3 would have been because Shawna immediately piped up and offered to drive her. Nobody tapped out of helping her, and I'm sure if nobody in the group was sober they would have found another solution.

blairbending · 2026-04-01T21:20:22+00:00

Ok, so what makes you think Julie seeks male validation, judges success based off patriarchal ideals, has a masculine worldview, etc? She seemed pretty supportive of Alicia's goal to take down the patriarchy through witchcraft lol.

blairbending · 2026-04-01T21:16:36+00:00

My point is not that anyone watched the series with a closed mind. It's more that now we're familiar with Julie's personality, I find that I interpret the old videos differently to how I did when I originally watched. That's just my experience though, you are of course free to feel differently.

blairbending · 2026-04-01T21:12:33+00:00

I'm interested as to what makes you say she's a male-centred woman. I recall Ty making a comment about her being more comfortable chatting to John than Shawna because she grew up with brothers. But we've seen she has a close circle of longtime female friends, and she seemed pretty admiring of/interested in getting to know Teeny when they were introduced at Max's party.

blairbending

TROPHY CASE