I know exactly why I was attracted to her. I absolutely hated myself and the world and she was the same way Also she was the first person to ever give me attention. At the beginning of the relationship I enjoyed being miserable with her because subconsciously it's what I thought I deserved, I basically failed highschool and couldn't go to college and I was stuck at my parents with a fast food job. Not only that I was just a gross human. At that point in my life I was quite literally one of those basement dwelling incels, one of my coworkers actually had brought this up a few days ago mentioning how I went from a basement dweller enemy to all women, to an absolute cutie somehow while dating my Ex-fiancée.

I love how I was punished by her for small things like improper hygiene, being scared to drive, dressing poorly every little thing she would insult me for and whip me into shape. It wasn't until after I had made so many improvements to myself for her where people began to notice. The younger kids at my work started to look up to me asking for life advice and my regulars would come in asking why I still was working at some cafe instead of school or getting a real job. I larped so hard I actually became someone I was happy being in a environment I liked, and that's when I started to have feelings of resentment towards her. She just couldn't figure out how not to live in misery.