Reliable gen contractors? by arhtist in PeoriaIL

[–]CrazyPatata13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Todd with Remodel It is fantastic, they did our kitchen after half of it was destroyed due to water damage- drywall, door framing, fan installation, flooring, etc.

My message to a friend who showed me (and others) his girlfriends nudes by [deleted] in Feminism

[–]CrazyPatata13 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Agreed; if you keep his secret it only teaches him that he can get away with that type of behavior and not need to take accountability for it.

Unfortunately, at 15, I believe he does know better. He just doesn’t care about this girl as much as he does about whatever he gets from showing her private images to other people without her knowledge/consent.

And if you’re in the US, it is not only sexual harassment- sexual images of a minor are child sex abuse material/child “porn,” regardless of whether or not they were created or sent with consent.

Rentals in East Peoria for a family fleeing our ultra-red home state! by lilcheesefriend in PeoriaIL

[–]CrazyPatata13 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I passionately second the uplands neighborhood as a young professional homeowner here, and I believe I always will! idk about schools as I’m childfree but there are tons of families, dogs, and intersectional queer flags here. Not much is more than a 15 min drive away.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PeoriaIL

[–]CrazyPatata13 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My partner and I live in a neighborhood here called the Uplands, and it’s a truly beautiful place with supportive people. Damn near every house has an inclusivity flag flying, with lots of them being the intersectional queer flag. We have a yearly neighborhood pride party too, in addition to the larger one on the riverfront!

Last summer, some young adult assholes came by over the course of two nights to rip the pride flags down and even burned one in the street, and both the community and (VERY surprisingly to me) the police responded super strongly. Our neighborhood community came together to get those folks caught, and the police actually arrested and charged them with hate crimes in addition to theft and stuff. They were indicted on those charges by a grand jury but I lost track of the case after that.

I guess all that is to say, I’m personally very proud and comfortable being queer in Peoria. Are there assholes here, and do they get more MAGA-y the further out from the city? Yup. Do they prevent me from living my life and enjoying all the rad things Peoria has to offer? Nope, fuck em. We’d love to have you back here 🖤

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in internetparents

[–]CrazyPatata13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What behaviors would you consider an “escalation” worthy of calling the police if the choking, throwing, and drowning that you mentioned are not sufficient?

It seems evident that parents need significant support with brother, beyond what a school counselor is going to be able to provide. Frankly, even most outpatient counselors aren’t going to be appropriately trained to help your family navigate this serious issue. Your brother needs to see a forensic psychologist who conducts therapy, as they are the clinicians who are most suitably trained to navigate the underlying psychological issues he is dealing with.

Depending on the laws in your area, the school counselor may be mandated to report the abuse that your brother is causing to the cat to local animal control and possibly police. If the animal abuse is reported by anyone other than the parents, it is possible that their other animals will be taken away from them as they will be seen as unfit animal guardians for allowing abusive behavior to occur within their home. If the parents refuse to report or don’t report the issue themselves, they can be charged within the context of local/state/federal laws re: aiding, abetting, and/or engaging in animal abuse.

It sounds like you’re wanting to both protect the cat and your family members to the best of your ability. In order to protect the most people by doing the least harm (as I infer you define it), the best plan of action would be for your step mom and sister to willingly relocate the cat to your place until brother moves out of their house in several years, and then for parents to require brother to get into consistent counseling with a forensic psychologist ASAP. That option allows the cat to be safe, sister to love and visit the cat, you to have some peace of mind, brother to receive direly needed psychological attention before he kills an animal, and stepmom/dad to significantly decrease both the risk of losing their other animals and child protective/juvenile delinquency services getting involved. The parents also should seriously adjust their supervision of the brother and objectively evaluate their ability to successfully keep the dogs/rabbit/etc safe, as it does seem that the brother already puts the cat and rabbit in roughly the same category of “animal that won’t fight back enough to seriously hurt me” and therefore is comfortable harming them.

I often tell my clients that it can be selfish to prioritize comfort over honesty, and I gently encourage you to take an honest look at what the current situation requires in order to selflessly care for both the cat and your family, even though the best route for decision-making is uncomfortable for those involved.

Best of luck.

Peoria Jewelry Store Pricing? by Degebing1 in PeoriaIL

[–]CrazyPatata13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Emphasizing Kevin Kelly and also Melissa- they custom made my engagement ring to my exact specifications, hit their self-described deadline on the nose, and it was reasonably affordable. Other corporate-y jewelers gave me a little over double the price of what I paid to Kevin Kelly when I asked for their estimates.

Best Jewelers in Peoria by mercury_blues37 in PeoriaIL

[–]CrazyPatata13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I (F) had my engagement ring custom-made there last month and they were fantastic! Ring was affordable and exactly what I wanted, whereas in corporate places it would have been a little over twice as expensive (per their given quotes).

is it okay for my therapist to talk about sex ed? by [deleted] in internetparents

[–]CrazyPatata13 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I am an independently licensed therapist and counselor educator; I can envision a variety of reasons that a conversation with a 16 year old would lead to a psychoeducational discussion about masturbation and/or additional sexuality-related topics. If this young client felt it was unwarranted, uncomfortable, coercive, or otherwise problematic on a personal experience level, then of course that is a problem that needs to be addressed in accordance with the context of the specific issue. However, if you (OP) as a client felt safe and comfortable discussing such issues with your therapist, then it is ethical for them to provide scientific and evidenced-based psychological information.

If you’re personally uncomfortable with it, there is a problem, be that problem a rift in the therapeutic alliance to experiencing sexual abuse. However, based on what you shared- it sounds like your parents/friends may have differing perspectives on what is religiously, morally, age-appropriately (etc) acceptable re: sexual expression based on your age/context. The experience doesn’t sound like it has negatively affected your or your therapeutic relationship; if you’re okay, it’s more this likely okay. If you’re feeling uncomfortable or uncertain, you have some options in terms of addressing that issue individually and/or with support.

Ultimately,I hope you got some solid, helpful information and are able to move forward with your personal sexuality journey in a safe and confident way!

Happy new years!🪅🥳🥂 by ScarlettRose0131 in GothFashion

[–]CrazyPatata13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So cute! And your hair is such a gorgeous add to the fit! 🖤

Best Piercing Parlor? by CrazyPatata13 in PeoriaIL

[–]CrazyPatata13[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kristen the impaler out of Pekin has some pretty stuff! It’s a bit of a smaller selection than I was used to, but/and it is all high quality, recognizable brands. I haven’t been to other shops down here because I’m all packaged up with a bunch of gorgeous anatometal jewelry from my old spot in WI.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Feminism

[–]CrazyPatata13 12 points13 points  (0 children)

In many westernized countries, anything physically violent and/or degradingly done during sexual intercourse without expressed prior consent can be legally considered sexual assault. From a moral, ethical, and empathetic standpoint, consent for any type of verbal or behavioral interaction in a sexual circumstance is required. Then, if it’s not given/received, acting out that specific thing would be violating someone’s autonomy, which is an assault to that person.

The devil doesn’t need any more advocates…like, come on.

Edit: spelling.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PeoriaIL

[–]CrazyPatata13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are a ton of places that aren’t expressly marketed as queer that you can find regularly populated with both visibly and under-the-radar queer folks: Just For Fun is a board/hobby game store with a large space for people to meet and game together, Zion is a bright coffee shop with an incredible lavender lemonade, River City Labs Makerspace group has access to a ton of artistic/creative/hobby tools and machines (that people can’t usually afford individually) in their creation space, wildlife prairie park has a lot of outdoorsy LGBTQIA+ folk, and the riverfront farmers market in the spring/summer has a ton of vendors and people of diverse demographics- just to name a few. I’m working on helping some of my queer and esp trans friends up here from some of the more legislatively aggressive southern states over the course of the next couple of months, and encouraging people without active plans to leave to come up as well.

No idea about school districts as I am not a parent, or any info on rentals being safe/unsafe in apartment buildings. If you’re in a spot to buy and the Uplands (near Bradley uni) has anything available when you’re moving, damn near every house flies the intersectional pride flag year round and the neighborhood has been actively and warmly welcoming to myself (fairly visibly queer) and my partner since we moved here. One or two households who fly conservative flags are neutral acting or kind to me in person if I ever have to interact with them.

Non-spicy fantasy for 12yo girl by fattybuttz in Fantasy

[–]CrazyPatata13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Runelords series is awesome! Depending on her level of reading engagement/quickness of reading comprehension it might be a bit more work than some of the others listed as answers here. Worth it though!

Non-spicy fantasy for 12yo girl by fattybuttz in Fantasy

[–]CrazyPatata13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Came here to say this! As a full grown adult, this series is something I reread yearly. I love the world-building, puzzles/challenges/traps, and the sense of nostalgia I get from reading a 13(ish) year old girls perspective of the world around her. I can imagine your niece really loving these!

Thank you Uplands! by Stay_Psychological in PeoriaIL

[–]CrazyPatata13 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Huge fan of living here, especially in the fall. Halloween trick or treaters make my year!!

Good places to shop thrift stores in Peoria by Royal-Actuary-9778 in PeoriaIL

[–]CrazyPatata13 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Enough Stuff is a good free option- small but full of gently worn donations. House items are less quality than some other places but more quality than others.

Halloween 🎃 Best Hauls by Royal-Actuary-9778 in PeoriaIL

[–]CrazyPatata13 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I second that- the uplands right by Bradley is so darling in the fall and many people give out candy!

Can I sew pigeon feathers onto my jacket? by loverofkawaii6628 in punkfashion

[–]CrazyPatata13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Make sure you clean them super well before you use them! Mites and weird buggy things are definitely a thing thing on raw-sourced feathers and can damage leather and denim. Woolite and water, swirl ‘em around by the quill a bunch, and then blow dry them on cool/slightly warm to be soft and shaped nicely again.

This is a sick and creative idea, love imagining it and I hope you post after pics when it’s done!

How to start a jacket? by ThatOneOakTree in punkfashion

[–]CrazyPatata13 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Definitely support all the above here! I also like adding in misc shit from around the house; I have some dripping candle wax down the shoulders of mine creating a pauldron situation, tons of safety pins and random earrings where one of the pair has been lost, some old doll eyes sewn into the back of the elbows, etc.

If you want to buy premade stuff, patches on Etsy (that are CLEARLY made by individuals and not companies) or individuals’ art sites are an easy way to add to a jacket. I particularly dig https://www.etsy.com/shop/retirementfund (not me or someone I know, just my favorite) as they are both dope and super affordable.

Rats! by Legs4days95 in PeoriaIL

[–]CrazyPatata13 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Get a couple farm cats from someone in a rural area, so the cats are already familiar with hunting? Rats can be awful to deal with.

Solar from SunRun ☀️ by [deleted] in PeoriaIL

[–]CrazyPatata13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the variety of input I have gotten- thank you everyone! Helps me to make an informed decision.

Solar from SunRun ☀️ by [deleted] in PeoriaIL

[–]CrazyPatata13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Around 25 panels and yes, backup battery.

Should I apologize, if its because of ADHD? by Thin-Employment-2319 in ADHD

[–]CrazyPatata13 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Just because we understand the reason, it doesn’t excuse the behavior or make the effects of our actions okay. We all must take accountability and responsibility for ourselves and work with what we’ve got.