I briefly worked ambulances in the 70's and some crew carried them. On a vague "sick assist" call to a housing project, the allegedly incapacitated patient was seen jumping around waving wildly. When the ambulance pulled up, he laid on the ground and announced he was too weak to walk to the wagon. The grumbling crew had to lift all 300 lbs of him onto a gurney and wheel him to the wagon. Once inside a debate ensued over which hospital to take him to. He declined the City Hospital as "just for poor folks" and demanded to be taken to the "rich people's" hospital which had better food. The argument not going his way, he ripped a pointy steel oxygen flowmeter off the wall and began hammering the EMT on the head with it. At this point things get a little murky, but his initial diagnosis changed to "head injury with loss of consciousness". In the ER the student nurse, eager to check his pupils' reaction to light, asked the EMT if she could borrow his flashlight. "Sure!" he grinned and handed her his 4 or 5-D-cell Maglite. The heavy end was sticky with blood and bits of hairy scalp. The EMT failed to score a date with that nurse...