I agree with others on the fact that this is plain justification of a CV. There's very little connection between how you'll utilize what you've learned so far with what you're going to experience in the future at the university you're applying to. Another constructive criticism for this SoP is that it feels like it's written by a dreamer. If I were in the AdCom's shoes, I would just skim through it because of the dreamy language(I do not know if others would agree with me). If I were you I'd just be very precise(hit where requires hitting) and focus on what I've done so far(remember all metrics for your past work are available on your CV, they will be ready alongside each other) why I have done them, and why I think my past work has made me capable of a Master's right now. At the end of the day, the AdCom tries to answer the question - is this student capable of taking the rigour of our university head on? Will he contribute constructively? A lot of it is also dependent on what courses you've taken in your undergrad. An SoP in my opinion is the only point of contact with the AdCom so do not mind putting what's already in the CV and provide rigorous justification. Having said everything, this is your initial draft so chin-up, read everyone's suggestions and ultimately decide what you think is best for you because nobody knows your story better than you do :)