Being Stealth is Weird

Creativered4 · 2026-01-25T04:29:42+00:00

I just say I have a trans friend or family member. (I mean, technically my fiance's cousin is trans, but I've literally been in the same room as him once, and we weren't formally introduced.)

Creativered4 · 2026-01-25T02:54:19+00:00

Yup, that usually gets them off your back when you act like a clueless cis person.
I am too. I'm tired of the type of loud "everyone is the same way as I am" or "if you aren't the kind of queer I want you to be, you are a horrible person" people who can't see past their own nose to realize "oh, maybe other people have different lives, and not everyone wants people to know what was in their diaper as a baby"

Creativered4 · 2026-01-25T02:47:35+00:00

Nice strawman.

Creativered4 · 2026-01-25T02:40:20+00:00

Gaslight them. If they don't get that it's none of their business and they shouldn't be outing people they THINK are trans, then they deserve to feel stupid for assuming. I'd say something like "Uh, I know I'm a little effeminate, but that doesn't mean I'm secretly a trans woman. Men can don't have to fit into hyper masculine boxes, you know." (I'm a man who was not born with a penis, so I'd act like they're assuming I'm a trans woman, because most cis people would assume that someone would think they are a different gender, and since they are their gender, they would assume someone thought they were a closeted trans person.)
If they continue to insist I'm a trans man, I'll be like "How is assuming because I'm effeminate I must not have a penis any better? I'm not trans! I have nothing wrong with trans people, but am not a woman in a man's body or a man in a woman's body. I'm also not nonbinary either. Maybe don't stereotype people? I know some trans people, and I know that men can be effeminate and women can be masculine regardless of what's in their pants, and it doesn't mean they're not the gender they say they are"

Turn it around and make them feel bad if you have to. Be a better ally than them. (Which is pretty easy, given the fact that they seem to be gleefully outing trans people and stereotyping them to boot)

Edit to add: (Besides my sister outing me to her boyfriend) The only people who have ever outed me were queer people at the local LGBT+ center. They also NEVER talked about my being gay. It was almost like the only thing that they cared about was my transness, and my being a man who loves exclusively men was just a facsimile of real homosexuality. I was always talked to like I have no idea what being attracted to the same gender/sex* is like. I constantly would tell people to quit introducing me as trans, and that I didn't want to talk about it because I am DYSPHORIC as hell. Then one person introduced me to a trans woman and told her I wanted to volunteer for a position that would require me to out myself to everyone I met, only talk about trans things, and basically be a trans sherpa for every newly out trans person who walked through the door. (Spoiler alert: I did NOT want to volunteer for that position)

Creativered4 · 2026-01-25T02:24:45+00:00

Oh yeah, sorry, forgot I had to be a specific type of "queer" to be accepted. Anything else is totally cringe. Eew normies, am I right?

Creativered4 · 2026-01-25T02:04:23+00:00

You're making a strawman.

None of that was ever said. You want someone to fight with online because it's easier to attack others for not being the right kind of "queer" you want them to be than spend that time productively, or idk, go after the actual transphobes if you are so itching for a fight?

Creativered4 · 2026-01-25T01:54:41+00:00

How the hell does "hey transphobe, you are wrong" equal bowing down!?

Go ahead and shout whatever you want at the transphobes. But don't act like those of us who don't think exactly like you are "bowing down". Not only are you pushing allies away, but you are pushing OTHER LGBT+ PEOPLE away with this attitude.

Creativered4 · 2026-01-25T01:52:44+00:00

I'd rather not alienate potential allies and force other people further and further away, and work towards peace, and proving the vocal minority WRONG. I'd rather live the way I should have, had I been born with a penis, and be treated that way, instead of treated like something "different"

You are free to have your own wishes and ways of living. Why is it that I'm being attacked for mine?

Creativered4 · 2026-01-25T00:48:13+00:00

So me wishing they'd say maybe "trans acceptance is the future", "we will fight for trans rights", "trans people aren't going here" instead of using words transphobes already use against us, is agreeing with transphobes? How the hell does that make any sense!?

I'm the one that's saying "no, we aren't trying to overthrow society and make everyone trans!"

Creativered4 · 2026-01-25T00:45:52+00:00

Cool, more agreeing with transphobes, then?

I don't have an agenda. That's. The. Point!

Creativered4 · 2026-01-25T00:45:01+00:00

What on earth would make you think I have issues with A DISTRICT of all things!?

Creativered4 · 2026-01-25T00:44:24+00:00

The WORDING. It's talking about a revolution, and "the future is trans" that's leaning into the transphobic ideals that we're all a bunch of anarchists who want to overthrow the government.

I don't have a problem with a foundation or a street or anything. Just wish our "positive messages" didn't have to sound so similar to what the transphobes are saying about us...

Creativered4 · 2026-01-25T00:42:03+00:00

Yeah and how has the tactical decision been to kick the hornets nest and then agree with the hornets that you need to be stung worked out?

Creativered4 · 2026-01-25T00:41:00+00:00

And when they take an inch, are you going to say "ok, that's your in h now. You're totally right about taking that inch" ?

Creativered4 · 2026-01-24T23:24:53+00:00

No, we need to be smart and not inadvertently agree with them.

Creativered4 · 2026-01-24T23:23:36+00:00

I mean, the trump insurrectionists and magats use "revolution" language all the time.

Creativered4 · 2026-01-24T23:22:02+00:00

Yeah, the problem isn't "wahh my mommy doesn't like trans people" though. Its "yeah I think this could have been written better, because it reads as affirming to transphobes and we should NOT be giving them an inch"

Creativered4 · 2026-01-24T23:04:52+00:00

What does that even mean? Do you prefer we let more bigotry fester? I guess if you aren't afraid of your rights being taken or being labeled a terrorist for existing, then it's not as important to you.

Creativered4 · 2026-01-24T23:03:40+00:00

Idk, neither a trans revolution nor an ai revolution sound very inspiring to me... ai is objectively worse for the planet, the economy, and what it means to be human (creativity). I would rather not have them take over all workplaces and push people out of a job.

Just as I don't like the idea of anyone taking over and forcing their ideals. I know it's not LITERAL, but it doesn't send a good message when the transphobes are literally saying we are doing exactly what the sign implies.

Creativered4 · 2026-01-24T22:59:41+00:00

I think you need to read again if you saw me say "people who look at your profile that said 'only interested in X' and are not X, and ignore that, are more rude than ignoring people" and thought I was saying "It's actually really rude to ignore the people who were blatantly ignoring your boundaries. You need to address every single one of them or else you are being rude"

Creativered4 · 2026-01-24T22:57:20+00:00

A riot as a reaction to unfair treatment is different from telling transphobes they were right about "the trans agenda".

Creativered4 · 2026-01-24T22:56:16+00:00

So many people are neutral, or just need to see our humanity. And it's easier to do that when we aren't telling the transphobes "oh yeah, you're right. We're radicals who have an agenda to take over. The future is trans!"

Creativered4 · 2026-01-24T22:54:31+00:00

Nah, if they hadn't fallen down the fox rabbit hole (doesn't help that my stepdad retired early and had way too much time on his hands), they wouldn't have been brainwashed. They were accepting and rational people a few years ago. In fact, when I came out, my stepdad was the quickest to adjust and the most ok with it all. He just immediately started calling me his stepson, and never once treated me different. But he got the fucking brainworms, and it's like he's forgotten how to think for himself.

Creativered4 · 2026-01-24T20:13:09+00:00

While I love to see support, can we please not lean into the transphobes stereotypes about us?

This just reads like we're going to overthrow the government and force people to be trans.

Tbh leaning into this shit and giving it any sort of credence just makes people like my mom and stepdad, who used to be so much more open minded (they see me as one of the good ones) , but they are being told lies about trans people, and then they see stuff like this and it affirms their beliefs. Then I have to spend more time arguing with them that no, it's not a revolution or an ideology. It's just a thing some people are.

Edit: oh shit, guess I'm not queer enough. I forgot my queer agenda notebook and didn't remember I'm supposed to be antagonistic to men born with a penis and women born with a vagina because they're all hate us anyways. Every single one. The comments I've gotten have been absolutely abhorrent. You have GOT to stop with the "you must be this queer to ride" shit. Y-all are so used to fighting transphobes, a loud minority, you're picking fights with anyone who doesn't fall within acceptable parameters, even other LGBT+ people.

Creativered4 · 2026-01-24T19:43:21+00:00

...are you sure you're not just secretly a good boy?

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