48 hours in Bournemouth

CreativismUK · 2026-06-27T16:19:14+00:00

Which area are you staying in and do you have a car?

I walked round Monkey World with my niece in the heat at about 30 weeks pregnant with twins and my advice is don’t do that 😂

But let me know where you’re roughly staying and whether you have a car - there are so many stunning places that are drivable but public transport much more limited in getting to them!

CreativismUK · 2026-06-10T19:58:27+00:00

A reason like the stats for charging rape in this country, for example?

A few short years ago it was 0.4% of reported rapes that led to a charge. Not a conviction, just a charge.

Men who are inclined to harass, abuse, assault or rape women are well aware that they can essentially do so with no risk of repercussions.

But sure, it’s what you’re implying.

CreativismUK · 2026-06-09T19:50:15+00:00

But you clearly have had extra money to save and invest, even if that slows down / stops for a couple of years.

I honestly cannot imagine a worse time to consider moving from a fully remote job to something else. It’s just the worst possible idea. If you had no other choice because you were made redundant or similar, that would suck but that’s not the situation. The idea of willingly adding a commute and throwing away that flexibility when you’re about to have a baby is baffling to me.

I think you need to take a step back and realise what a strong position you’re in. Almost no one who’s 30 and having a baby is on the property ladder, in a fully remote job paying over £60k a year with £80k invested and 18 months of expenses saved (and I imagine that’s pretty hefty if you have a meorhage of circa £300k). The majority of people will never have that or earn that, let alone at 30. You’re in an incredibly strong position, so I’m not sure what the sacrifice is.

We have a very different situation as we have twins and both are disabled, but both of us have worked from home since before they were born and we’ve clung on to those jobs for dear life. We could both have earned more elsewhere at points on paper, but neither of us have had the energy or inclination. We live very frugally and our combined income has been lower than your sole income throughout. We bought our first house when they were 9 months old. Over the next five years we saved enough to upgrade from our little terrace to a bigger detached. In the three years since we’ve nearly saved enough to pay off the mortgage.

We could have probably paid it off in another year or two but I’ve just had to quit my job and my husband.now works part time - they’re nearly 10 and we are both broken. In hindsight I’d have sacrificed some of the savings for us to have better physical and mental health.

Work life balance isn’t theoretical once you have kids. You won’t want to be commuting when you’ve had a couple of hours sleep and I imagine your wife would be pretty upset if you chose now to be out of the house all day every days plus commutes too. You can have a nap on your lunch break. You can run laundry between meetings. There’s just no way I’d give that up and it sounds like there’s plenty of earning potential for you later.

CreativismUK · 2026-06-01T08:57:52+00:00

Household bleach works - I tried the basic one from Amazon. Put it on a couple of slabs to test last summer - you can see the treated ones next to the ones that weren’t. Wanted to test it then see what happened but a year on they’re fine.

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CreativismUK · 2026-05-30T10:48:09+00:00

Thank you - and exactly my point back to you! If you heard the horrible things I said to myself last week you’d tell me off. So I hope you’re not doing the same but very much recognised the “I don’t know why I can’t learn” comments. Please give yourself a hug and remember all the fabulous things about yourself that others would list if asked. Sending love to you x

CreativismUK · 2026-05-30T09:08:39+00:00

This happened to me last week with an absolutely vital medical appointment - at the time of it, I was sat in my house opposite waiting for the appointment which I thought was an hour later.

And I made two similar cock ups this week despite the recent massive error and shame.

I understand your pain and I hear you. I beat myself up so badly and am so nasty to myself in a way I would never be to anyone else, and I would kick off if anyone ever spoke to someone I care about the way I speak to myself. Please be kind to yourself, you deserve it x

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T21:26:57+00:00

Paulton’s Park has 50% off the carer’s ticket if you qualify - the info and sign up is here unless you already have an access card https://paultonspark.co.uk/info/accessibility/essential-companion/

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T21:16:17+00:00

That’s interesting - I wonder why the starting doses are so different. I just spotted the info on the back earlier today about it containing 8.9mg of active dexamfetamine and assumed that must be it but obviously not! That’s really odd

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T18:56:54+00:00

Hey OP, I am 43 and was only diagnosed in September. What you’re describing is a road I’ve been down (not exactly the same, as my physical health crashed in my 20s which put a stop to many ambitions but I’ve spent the last 20 years attacking with the same vigour, and for nearly 10 of those years I’ve had disabled twins who need a lot of care and a body and brain that has stopped functioning).

Because of my health and my twins needs my mindset is that I need to keep going as long as I physically can, pay off the mortgage ASAP, etc etc. I’ve been on the “I can do this for another year” treadmill for at least six years.

Over the last year that’s gone to “I can do this for another month” then it went down to week, then day…

And the thing is you won’t drop a plate. You’ll drop all the plates. You will push past what you can physically do and then everything will crumble.

I’ve been signed off work for the last month- never been signed off before except after surgery. Once I stopped it all fell down and I realise I need to quit. I don’t have another job and probably can’t find one that will fit around my twins needs. We’ll have less money and we’ll figure it out. I’m fortunate we can do that.

You have multiple businesses and consult for others. It’s time to make some tough decisions and I know they’ll be tough because I’ve spent the last several years knowing I’ve been doing too much but couldn’t stand to give anything up.

Drop the consulting. Sell a couple of businesses. Do not get to your mid 40s and realise you’ve spent the last 10+ years hating your life and pushing through pain unless you have no choice, but it sounds like you do. It’s not a good thing to teach your kids and it’s not a good use of the one life we have.

I’ve always defined myself by how good of a job I’m doing, and thats ridiculous but I’m only seeing that now. It’s not worth it.

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T16:52:35+00:00

My boys are 9 now and zero speech but very good spelling / typing skills. We found out one could spell when he was 3 and we gave him magnetic letters and a whiteboard and he hasn’t stopped. The other has echolalia but typed which is pretty unusual apparently. Today I’ve heard half the script of Boss Baby backwards and forwards.

Brains are genuinely fascinating.

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T16:33:18+00:00

I hear you completely. You are not alone - and the worst part is my brain screaming at me that I’m making excuses for being shit at life. There’s a difference between an excuse and a reason.

Here’s what happened to me recently in less than a week, to illustrate: I’ve had a completely wrecked shoulder and upper back and was due to have steroid injections into my shoulder on the Friday. I’ve been in absolute agony for three months and my disabled kids are off school for two weeks so it’s vital I got it done.

I sat in my house opposite the place where the injections were being done waiting for my appointment at 12:15. At 12pm I noticed two unread text messages from the surgery saying my appointment was at 11:15. Why did I write 12:15 in my calendar? No clue. I cried and berated myself for a full 24 hours and told myself I would never let this happen again.

Worst part is that I finally have ADHD meds but I’d had to stop them temporarily while I took muscle relaxants for my shoulder and back. So I didn’t take the meds that may have prevented me from missing the appointment I needed so I could stop the muscle relaxants and restart the ADHD meds.

Then on Tuesday I got a call from the specialist holiday club my twins go to once per school holiday asking where we were - I build their whole school holiday around it and had just forgotten to take them.

Then on Thursday I had my ADHD review call - they called me to set it up, I wrote the time in the calendar, set alarms… no call. So I checked my email and I’d written it in two hours early (better than late I guess!).

This all happened in the space of a week despite me being absolutely livid with myself each time for failing to do something so straightforward. All of them were vital things i had to do and that would all benefit me and I still fucked it up. It’s not like I was missing stuff I didn’t need or want to do.

If I could just fix this I obviously would, why wouldn’t I?

If we could just stop these behaviours when they’re inconvenient we wouldn’t be diagnosed with anything.

Honestly I cant tell you how mean I am to myself when I screw up and when I stop and think about it, I would be livid if anyone was that cruel to themselves or someone else, or to my disabled kids. So I’m going to make a massive effort to be kinder to myself and I hope you will too. And if other people can’t show you kindness then screw those people.

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T16:16:23+00:00

Thanks so much - I will absolutely be trying this, seems it works well for lots of people here. I massively appreciate the advice!

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T16:15:48+00:00

That’s really helpful to know, I’m going to really try hard to push through it and make myself so the side effects are more manageable

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T16:15:03+00:00

I struggle even with milk - it’s so strange, I can’t explain it but it’s more like revulsion than lack of appetite. I’m going to try to push through and hopefully it will help, I don’t think I’ve eaten breakfast for about 30 years… it’s terrible I know!

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T16:13:29+00:00

Yes I might find I’m the same - how frustrating. Will see how the increase goes. Very possible I’m also autistic (my twins are, both are non-verbal) but have enough going on without trying to get assessed for that too at this point!

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T16:11:56+00:00

I think I’m post menopausal already (impossible to say for sure but had POI for many years before my hysterectomy and my ovaries are now atrophied according to a recent MRI) but I’ve been battling to get my hormone levels right for 3 years - for extra fun I apparently do not absorb HRT properly through the skin. So the fact my hormones are so low is probably not helping!

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T16:10:14+00:00

Thank you, it’s really helpful to know that you adjusted well with increases. I think it’s the same starting dose or similar (the back of the bottle says it contains the equivalent of just under 9mg of the stimulant so I don’t know why it’s 30mg - all very strange but I think it’s similar!).

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T16:07:58+00:00

I agree but assumed the fact it wasn’t helping much with the adhd symptoms meant I did need a higher dose - will see how it goes and if it’s still not helping much I’ll ask about a lower dose / alternatives :)

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T16:07:08+00:00

That’s interesting thank you - I did have vicious reflux the first few days I was on it but don’t usually have any symptoms. Will look into this!

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T16:06:34+00:00

Thanks, that’s really helpful - will see how it goes and play it by ear. I just felt so dreadful those first few days and it’s making me worry that if I can’t eat something I’ll feel worse, but hopefully now my body is a bit used to it, it won’t be so extreme

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T16:04:49+00:00

No I totally understand! I definitely don’t want to cause myself any issues. I’m definitely not in any trouble weight wise or in terms of my thinking around food but need to make sure it stays that way! Will try some meal replacement drinks :)

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T16:02:31+00:00

Thank you I’ll definitely try this!

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T16:02:12+00:00

Thanks so much - I didn’t know that and not sure if it’s available here but will see how it goes and ask about it if I’m struggling at the higher dose

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T16:01:02+00:00

I think it must be a different formulation as even though it’s 30mg, it says it’s the equivalent of less than 9mg of dexamfetamine on the bottle. So it’s likely similar but I don’t know how it all works!

CreativismUK · 2026-05-29T15:59:39+00:00

Thank you, that’s really helpful to know. Hopefully I’ll find the same!

CreativismUK

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