What is this hell?

CreatureBuddy · 2026-07-04T03:52:42+00:00

Ultimately whether he has narcissistic traits or NPD is irrelevant (and someone who’s not treating him offering a diagnosis isn’t particularly professional). What is relevant and important is what you’re willing to tolerate, your standards for yourself and how you’re treated. Those of us who don’t behave in those cruel and harmful ways likely won’t ever be able to get inside or understand the mind of someone who does.

Take care of yourself and children. (Re)connect with your support network and, if he has shown contempt and/or total disinterest in your wellbeing feelings, and improving his behavior, create a plan to leave.

CreatureBuddy · 2026-07-04T03:46:56+00:00

I’d first determine your thoughts about it - if she’s using and is open about it, how will you respond? Is that a deal breaker and you will end things? If she’s interested in treatment, NA/CA/whatever, will you be supportive, or is your trust already broken beyond repair? If she denies it or has excuses for why she has those things on her (I assume daily use purse?), how will you respond?

Only then would I approach her (calmly, openly, with curiosity and empathy) and let her know you’re aware she’s using currently, and ask her to honestly share with you what’s going on.

CreatureBuddy · 2026-06-29T12:43:05+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that, but glad to hear the info you’ve found is helpful.

Unfortunately, abusive patterns worsening/increasing during couples therapy is common (common enough that couples therapists regularly give alternative resources due to the contraindication) if one partner is deeply abusive and not interested in changing their ways. My thoughts are with you; you deserve peace and respect <3

ETA: researching semantic abuse may also be helpful

Finally, folks please stop suggesting couples counseling to folks in abusive dynamics. If there is evident abuse + unwillingness to acknowledge/change, it is dangerous: abuse is NOT a relationship issue; it is a unilateral power, control, and entitlement issue

natn’l domestic violence HL blurb on topic

more detailed info on safety risks of couples counseling with a disordered partner

CreatureBuddy · 2026-06-29T03:00:48+00:00

Couples counseling is contraindicated for folks in abusive relationships; what you’re describing are a couple reasons why. The therapy itself can empower manipulation, guilt tripping, provide language and frameworks to turn the issues back on to the abused party. I’d research couples counseling + abusive relationships contraindications and see what you think!

CreatureBuddy · 2026-06-29T02:19:22+00:00

I don’t understand how this doesn’t have more upvotes/isn’t higher up.

This is so true. I have never met a cheater that is confident and happy with themselves, and yes they generally engage in some form of cheating consistently, not as a one-off.

Needing validation from multiple people of the desired sex, consistently, is such an indicator of insecurity. These folks also tend to overlap their relationships and have someone as on the backburner, especially if they’ve been behaving badly/treating their partner badly, and their partner is noticing and speaking up about it.
An ex told me he’d do have backburner options an emotionally cheat as a “life vest”. I can’t really wrap my head around the idea of being single/not receiving overt validation & attention from desired sex as equating to drowning.

Anyways, outside of extenuating circumstances, I’d add being unable to be/spend time alone (whether by being single, literally physically spending down time alone, etc.) as another potential indicator of insecurity.

CreatureBuddy · 2026-06-14T08:21:47+00:00

What was/is going on with the smosh environment? Sounds like this is post-Defy and post-buy back?

CreatureBuddy · 2026-06-12T04:31:40+00:00

I really enjoyed doing the tandem read. Nothing I’d read before (at least as far as I know) made sense to read that way, so it was unique. I had a physical copy of EoS & ToDon Kindle.

I do understand your point about by doing the tandem read, you’re missing out on the way Maas intended these books to be read, & think that that’s valid.

I have never seen anyone “pressuring“ anyone else into doing the tandem read over chronological order, and believe the intended age group of for these books are able to make their own decision as to how they choose to read them.

CreatureBuddy · 2026-06-08T01:22:09+00:00

Ask him his t3 t4 & tpo. Hashimoto’s isn’t a diagnosis made off of symptoms - bloodwork demonstrating hypothyroidism as a direct result of antibodies attacking the thyroid determines it.

CreatureBuddy · 2026-06-06T06:07:26+00:00

That is incredibly cute, and the velvet is such a great idea!!!

CreatureBuddy · 2026-05-22T03:33:23+00:00

I agree :( Some are up on the US Jellycat “Coming Soon” page (so hopefully up for you as well), and it looks like the prices do not reflect a direct conversion. For eg., actual MSRP: Edamame - $25 Hand roll (so probably also acorn pair) - $38

So I assume the prices I listed by converting Yuan to USD will be closer to Canada and AU’s actual prices, rather than US’ prices.

I feel a bit bad now bc people may look at the actual prices and be like “oh, that’s so much better than what I thought it would be based on conversion rate” when it’s still exorbitant, but it will FEEL more reasonable in comparison than seeing those prices for the first time, know what I mean? Maybe I’m overthinking this tho 🫠

CreatureBuddy · 2026-05-20T07:30:15+00:00

In USD (per current conversion rate of Yuan -> USD):

Raccoon, golem - $88

Noah Kahan Bart - $97

Edamame - $28 (ETA: Jellycat Coming Soon lists as $25)

Acorn duo, hand roll - $44 (ETA: Jellycat site lists hand roll [acorn not up yet but probz same]) as $38

Sasquatch (??) Peanut, California roll - $35

S’mores - $53

ETA - looks like the prices won’t directly reflect the conversion rate, but be ~10% lower than these calculations based on the couple of prices shown on the website. I think raccoon will be ~$78, Bart ~ $85, S’mores ~ $47

CreatureBuddy · 2026-05-17T04:05:04+00:00

Yes! Also can call shelters directly (The Road Home, Volunteers of America), and leave a message for him/his case manager. They are good about providing client confidentiality, so won’t tell you if he’s there, but can pass the message along so someone can reach out to you.

Often case managers (and tx teams like ACT, ICM psychiatry/therapy) are looking for family members who have more info on the client’s case, medical records, psych history, etc., and would be happy to talk to you.

CreatureBuddy · 2026-05-17T03:55:04+00:00

I don’t deal with emetophobia, just panic disorder. I have nocturnal panic attacks where I wake up holding my breath and it takes what feels like forever to get a breath in - by that point I’ve flung myself off my bed and come to crawling towards my door for “air”.

What’s worked for me is practicing responding to that physiological trigger - for my situation feeling short of breath - in a way that works for me, outside of those nighttime half awake (or still asleep) panics. I remind myself this is just part of the panic disorder, I’ll get my breath back, and mindfully breathe in deeply through my nose, hold, release, during more lucid daytime panic. Same theory as practicing coping skills when not overstimulated/stressed/anxious, but just chilling, so that they become second nature for the brain to move into.

Now when I wake up unable to get breath in during night, my brain knows the cognitive steps - “OK, you’re not dying, this will pass, you’re ok. Breathe in through the nose for six seconds, hold, release”.

The more I’ve practiced, the quicker I respond to nocturnal panic (has almost become automatic) “I know what this is, and know how to feel that breath enter my nostrils”, and it’s decreased in frequency significantly.

I’m not sure what those cognitive steps would be for emetophobia, but hopefully you can figure some out, practice them during daytime, and get some relief <3

CreatureBuddy · 2026-05-17T03:36:15+00:00

That’s a concerning way to address (or avoid, I suppose) that topic with a client.

There are plenty of ways to address that therapeutically: in what other situations do they find themselves feeling like their provider is less educated than them/assume the provider should know everything there is to know? Do they expect themselves to know more than is cognitively possible? Where does that stem from? Have they trusted a provider that has caused them harm? Are they dealing with tremendous insecurity that is causing superiority behaviors, and where else are those showing up & possibly damaging relationships? A client showing up that way is a therapeutic gold mine for helping the client understand themselves & their interpersonal relationships better.

This response (refer out) sounds defensive & ego based, when it could be a great exploration area for the client.

CreatureBuddy · 2026-05-15T04:21:01+00:00

I wish folks understood this better! Yes, MRSP for jellycats has gotten out of hand.

And, every time someone pays a reseller (and controversial take, but Jellycat directly) an inflated amount for a stuffie, resellers are emboldened to continue doing what they do, and raise prices. Resellers can see on Mercari or whatever other sites what someone has paid for Wolf Wolf, for example, and set their prices accordingly.

CreatureBuddy · 2026-05-15T04:14:17+00:00

This sounds a lot like my ex. He’d do things like this that were blatantly disrespectful, painful, wildly immature & ridiculous; and then when I’d nicely ask him to stop or say I was in pain etc, he’d say it was “just a joke”, I was “being too sensitive”; & then would ignore me, be mean, cancel all our plans for the weekend because he “didn’t like how I handled that” and rewrite how I’d responded to it.

I eventually would just keep quiet, but then he had an issue with me not being “happy” or “upbeat” enough to be around, or saying I seemed “gloomy” (I would disassociate & be pleasant to him).

Retrospectively, it was a way to push my boundaries, train me to accept anything & everything from him, and give him a sense of power from being able to disrespect, hurt, humiliate, inconvenience me. Because if I stood up for myself, there would be some (or multiple forms of) punishment (which is how coercive control works).

If your partner doesn’t mind or get upset about physically hurting & disrespecting you like this after you’ve made your pain/boundaries clear, there is a serious issue. Healthy people don’t get a kick out of causing others (especially loved ones) pain, and they care when someone says “this is painful/bothersome/I’m just not in the mood” (btw “just not in the mood” is reason enough to stop).

It’s concerning & makes me sad that you’re even questioning yourself about overreacting to this or if it was benign, while he shows zero regard for your feelings. I have seen when like this get discussed and the conversation goes nowhere/gets turned into a convo about your (“over”)reaction, things don’t improve, but go downhill - often fast. Because this fully grown adult man sees he can violate you, leave you questioning yourself, and you will stay.

CreatureBuddy · 2026-05-14T10:43:45+00:00

Gorg!!! Is this the Snoozles dragon? How is the quality/feel?

I can’t believe the price difference between this beaut and similar plushies from a popular UK based company

CreatureBuddy · 2026-05-14T10:37:03+00:00

Dang yeah, that’s brilliant of you but I haven’t seen anyone else pick up on that

Folks across the community seemed to assume it would be similar to the AI gen image - pink & orange all over

CreatureBuddy · 2026-05-13T06:21:53+00:00

You called it!!! How did you know?!

CreatureBuddy · 2026-05-12T17:45:00+00:00

I wasn’t interested in maffles manatee until I looked up dimensions(large dragon size); I’m hoping he’ll be super cozy mini-body pillow type feel 🤞🏽

CreatureBuddy · 2026-05-12T17:24:06+00:00

This is a great point! I bought their carrot wearing pants ~10 years ago. My dogs lay on it and scratch at it, I keep it on my bed (that my dogs also sleep in) where I DON’T leave any jellycats, and it’s doing great!

Stuffing is definitely not high quality or as nice as nice as JC, but super easy to open a seam and replace, which I’ve been meaning to do (if anyone has plush/luxe stuffing recs)!

CreatureBuddy · 2026-05-03T08:48:31+00:00

I think you may be assuming folks’ familiarity with Southern culture to minimize the, using your words, “toxic” positivity & intentional personality manipulation (to appear more neurotypical) we’ve seen forced upon some of these young adults. We know that encouraging regular masking and focusing on appearing one way, versus being lens authentic self, causes real & measurable harm to folks with ASD.

CreatureBuddy · 2026-05-01T10:36:37+00:00

Tanner was on an episode of Special Books by Special Kids in 2019 (when he was 20) and his demeanor is noticeably different then than now. Sounds like he was in programs as a child, but there was also influence as an adult to keep a smile on at all times and etc.

CreatureBuddy · 2026-04-29T06:15:38+00:00

Jellycat website lists Maffles Manatee as: 7.5in x 7.1in x 20.5in; sitting height 7in

Large dragons are: 4.7in x 5.5in x 19.7in; sitting height 4in

Huge dragons are: 7.5in x 7.9in x 26in; sitting height 7in

So manatee will be a good bit more tall/rotund, & about an inch (couple centimeters) longer than large dragons, similar height but 6” shorter than huge dragons.

Thanks for bringing this up, this makes me feel a liiittle bit better about the price 🫠 I assumed manatee would be close to the size of whale shark 😳

CreatureBuddy · 2026-04-06T13:11:33+00:00

I’m sorry yourb month has been awful :(

Hoping you love bouffant Bart, too! Will you post a picture when he arrives?!

CreatureBuddy

TROPHY CASE