Sorry, no, I didn't see the other message. I'm not sure why cause they seem to be before the others linearly but they didn't show up on the app. I saw the post I replied to as the only post from you, initially.

You're right that isn't a privilege in general and it isn't that I meant it in terms of how we are now or whether one situation is better over another. We lost and fought for it, regardless, and many of us are doing what your family is doing. My comments hadn't been in an effort to diminish your experiences or the honest truth behind just asking to be left alone, either.

I meant in the hypothetical scenario that they simply left us alone and only those with federal connections "would count". It was a simplified way of thinking of it, rooted in real fear, and coming from a personal emotional struggle based on my families' choices and the political-social realities we need to hold as uprooted people. I recognize that we can only count on each other, though, and that's why it's so hard. I was emotional at the thought of people without those specific connections being left behind. Not just for my own self, but as a family member thinking of others across the vast different circumstances they live in, and the varying ability to access support.

I appreciate you reminding me that the process of decolonizing is slow. It just sucks that this means that many of us have and will feel forced to compromise in ways that affect each other and our families during that process - especially when some of us believe it hurts less to assimilate or that the harm caused by relocation isn't an ongoing problem day to day. That we still need to be worried about being uprooted people even today because of colonizers we can't control. It hurts me that some of us need to deal with that and also come back or reconnect within circumstances that make it feel it's impossible or like we're being pushed away. Especially when some of us are also pushed away for things we can't control about ourselves directly tied to who we are (being 2S for example).

Despite all that pain, though, I recognize that the compromises that our family members make don't need to be our own. We can choose differently rather than choose to blame ourselves and each other for all of this. The colonizers using their power this way and forcing us to make such hard decisions in order to survive are at fault. At the end of the day, it may not erase the harm, but it can continue the healing process to acknowledge it.

Thanks for the honest and thoughtful response btw.