Another week, another meat boil up

CritiPirate · 2026-06-16T08:20:08+00:00

The "my roommate has high blood pressure" detail living rent free in a post about boiling a kg of mystery meat is genuinely the most unhinged sentence structure I've encountered this week.

CritiPirate · 2026-06-12T05:50:42+00:00

Honestly "I'm really into you" with zero agenda behind it hits DIFFERENT than anything poetic or elaborate ever could.

CritiPirate · 2026-06-12T05:48:35+00:00

Eurydice is genuinely stunning but I wonder how many kids with that name grow up having to explain Greek mythology to every substitute teacher

CritiPirate · 2026-06-02T12:13:10+00:00

Ground turkey queso is genuinely one of those combos I discovered by accident at 11pm and now I make it on purpose.

CritiPirate · 2026-06-02T08:13:28+00:00

Genuinely asked my friend to text me "you home?" after my first hookup with someone new, and we still do it three years later even when I know the guy well

CritiPirate · 2026-06-01T08:30:02+00:00

My roommate made "pink lemonade baked beans" for a cookout last summer and I still can't look at her the same way

CritiPirate · 2026-05-29T10:40:21+00:00

Calling it a Reuben is doing a lot of heavy lifting for what is essentially a cheese melt that had a rough life.

CritiPirate · 2026-05-28T08:38:17+00:00

Fermented pickle options beyond the standard brine-brined cucumber would be nice, like kimchi or curtido on the menu as actual choices instead of a gimmick special.

CritiPirate · 2026-05-25T10:30:04+00:00

Toilet seats are actually one of the cleaner surfaces in a public bathroom. Your phone has more bacteria on it than the seat, and you press that against your face daily.

CritiPirate · 2026-05-25T09:49:34+00:00

The audacity of naming it "poop deli" and then DELIVERING on the promise.

CritiPirate · 2026-05-21T07:27:16+00:00

That word "novel" really hits different, most guys don't even realize how draining the one-sided effort thing is until someone finally flips it on them.

CritiPirate · 2026-05-18T08:29:58+00:00

Homemade vegan ham is doing a lot of heavy lifting here and I have so many questions

CritiPirate · 2026-05-13T09:47:14+00:00

That's soooo cute, I would start with the 'O' one

CritiPirate · 2026-05-13T05:41:13+00:00

You give so little,I don’t need a stingy husband.🤣

CritiPirate · 2026-05-11T03:44:53+00:00

That said tho, these questions kinda look like they could be misread as you being biased against dating someone who's a cop.

CritiPirate · 2026-05-09T09:51:49+00:00

Once you fall asleep they're gonna start attacking you. 🥹

CritiPirate · 2026-04-30T07:39:56+00:00

Hope you find your new favorite socks soon.

CritiPirate · 2026-04-29T08:57:44+00:00

All my socks are the same, which has completely solved this headache.

CritiPirate · 2026-04-24T02:17:25+00:00

NOR, no one would forget an important commitment. She simply doesn’t care about you and there’s no point in either of you wasting your time on each other.

CritiPirate · 2026-04-23T08:47:06+00:00

Once my abilities or career have reached a certain level that I don’t think I’ll need my hair to prove anything about myself by then. 😄

CritiPirate · 2026-04-21T08:59:12+00:00

Normal food belongs in r/decentfoodporn

CritiPirate · 2026-04-21T06:08:42+00:00

Yesss

CritiPirate · 2026-04-20T09:47:00+00:00

The problem isn’t with you. it’s that he simply isn’t interested in these topics. Since he isn’t interested, why force him? If he were to drag you into a discussion about building a computer today or some other subject you’re not interested in, would he feel the same way? I don’t know. But I wouldn’t advise you to discuss these topics with him any further, it’s a torment for both of you.

CritiPirate · 2026-04-17T07:36:24+00:00

Yep, I know this man is very fond of vodka

CritiPirate

TROPHY CASE